You Belong With Me
by emeraldegrl
Summary: Inspired by Taylor Swift's 'You Belong With Me'. Bella has been Edward's best friend since third grade. Now it's senior year, and not even his girlfriend Tanya will stop Bella from trying to make Edward see that he belongs with her.
1. Tuesday

**You Belong With Me**

**By: emerald(e)grl**

**Chapter One : Tuesday**

"Seriously, it was only a joke." His voice was strained, and I could see him internally debating whether he would hang up on her this time. I watched this from upside down on my bed – I was pretending to read. While I didn't quite know what Edward was arguing over, I did know it was _her_ he was arguing with. And that, no matter what she was yelling at him, he would never hang up on.

Edward would never hang up on anyone, it was too rude.

He glanced at me with an irritated expression so I fixed my gaze back on the book I was supposed to be reading. For eavesdropping purposes as well as for school purposes. We were supposed to be studying – we always studied on Tuesdays, considering it was the one school night we were both free. Between his football practice and my work on the school paper, we were pretty busy.

"Tanya, listen to me." He had to stop again as her voice started up again, only pausing to let him get those four words in. I could hear her annoying voice from here, though I could not decipher anything other than screeching. I didn't know how he had the patience.

I tried to block out their sounds of arguing (well, her sounds) in my room; I tried to focus on Moby Dick. _At last the anchor was up, the sails were set, and off we glided. It was a sharp, cold Christmas; and as the short northern day merged into night, we found ourselves almost broad upon the wintry ocean, whose freezing spray cased us in ice, as in polished armor…_ I'd never found a book so completely boring as this one.

"Emmett asked me to rank the J.V. girls; I would never actually date one of them." He seemed to have rushed this out during one of her pauses for breath. Ah, so this was about the underclassmen cheerleaders, no wonder Tanya was feeling insecure. She was head cheerleader – the kind of girl who was actually pleased when someone only liked her for her looks. "Hey, he might sometimes be a meathead, but he is one of my best friends."

Uh oh, big mistake Tanya, have you learned nothing? Edward is nothing if not fiercely loyal to his friends, especially one of his best. Damn, what am I doing? I'm not supposed to be listening. I focused this time on the music from my speakers, figuring it was a better attention magnet than the horrid book in my hands.

My iPod was on shuffle, and currently it was Flyleaf, one of my favorites. _All heads are bowed in silence; To remember her last sentence; She answered him knowing what would happen; Her last words still hanging in the air; In the air…_ While it was much more pleasant than Moby, it still made me think that it was the kind of music Tanya hated.

She was more of a Pussycat Dolls and Kayne West kind of girl. Pop and poser gangster as I would call them. It was drastic the differences between Tanya and I – similar to the contrast of day and night. Tanya is blond, perky, confident, beautiful, and even her name sounds like she deserves sovereignty of the school. I am brunette, sarcastic, shy, mousy, and my name sounds like I should be riding a gondola.

The silence was longer than usual, and I snuck another peek from under the book, even upside down, I could tell Edward's expression was slightly apologetic. I tried not to sigh when he spoke again. "What has Bella got to do with this, Tanya? And you know I'm over here right now, it is Tuesday."

It seemed that many of their arguments eventually dragged me into it – I guess the mention of best friends reminded Tanya I exist. The thought absolutely kills her, and I think it's because she knows it's going to take quite some time before she knows Edward's story like I do, if ever. Edward and I have been best friends since third grade – they've been dating since the start of this school year.

I hid my frown, knowing that it would upset Edward if he knew that I was upset. Edward had never dated anyone this long before, usually it took two dates before he was done. This time span of four months was starting to make me feel a bit restless; I didn't like it. Plus the fact that Tanya acted like she was so much better than me (and she probably kind of is – in the social class anyways) always irritated me.

"Look, next Tuesday you can come study with us, if it'll make you feel better." I could hear the frustration in his voice, and I knew by his sentiment of surrender he was at the last straw before he completely lost it. I wondered if she knew this.

And, like hell she would join us. Half of me knew Edward was saying this only to appease her and leave him alone for this night, but the thought that he would give up our alone time hurt me more than them arguing over me ever could. While I had hoped to hide my frown, a part of me wanted him to notice my angry countenance.

"Tanya-" He stopped abruptly and I noticed it wasn't the sound of her voice that had stopped him this time. It seemed that while he was against hanging up on people, she had no diversion to it. He threw his cell phone to the side, and I heard him lay back with a sigh.

I peeked at him once again, wanting to gauge if his face showed he wanted to talk about it or if he wanted me to leave it alone. Except, I was stalled by the sliver of flesh exposed by his shirt riding up. Oh, lovely, lovely tanned miracle of sin.

I glanced at his face and he was staring back at me with a twisted smirk on his lips. I rolled my eyes, used to being caught I had become very crafty with my responses during moments like these. "Nice boxers, Cupid," I knew they were heart-covered not because I had previously been staring at them a moment ago, but because I had seen them when he grabbed his backpack from the backseat only hours earlier.

"Thank you – now where is my peek?" His grin told me he was in a better mood than his phone call had ended with him in. I was glad I could distract him from Tanya, even if it was at my expensive of being caught staring. It wasn't my fault he was irresistible.

"You're going to have to pay for that show, buddy," I said as I threw my book aside finally. I sure as hell wasn't reading it anyways. When he joked like this, it made me equal amounts of giddy and loathing; it made me torn in a way I didn't like at all. We'd joked like this basically ever since hitting puberty, and for just as long it seemed I wanted them to be serious.

Sigh, yes call me the tragic cliché. I'm in love with my best friend. Yadda, yadda, I'm delusional thinking a confession will do any good, considering in real life they _never_ like you back and the friendship is _never_ the same.

Trust me, I know both sides better than you can imagine between Pro Alice and Con Rosalie, my best girl friends. Alice is actually Edward's sister, which made me wary at first, but she hasn't told him as far as I know. Rosalie is Emmett's girlfriend, as well as Alice's boyfriend Jasper's twin sister. It seems everyone has managed to get it together, unlike Edward and I.

Which I consider retarded considering we've known each other the longest; in my opinion, we so deserved to hook up before either couple. Then again, that was two consenting parties – I had no clue Edward's thoughts on the matter.

And well, I'd take him as my best friend over him as my embarrassed and awkward ex-best friend. Because the way I see it, that's where it has to end up. And before you say anything, trying to convince me that he feels the same of some bull, I _do_ have a plan. Alice has convinced me to tell him.

But I get to decide when, and I've chosen sometime after graduation and before we all leave for college. That way I can escape to the University of Arizona if need be, while the rest chum it up at the University of Seattle. And I'd say I'm pretty brave, considering I'd have to give up all my best friends, the better city and college, and Edward himself if it all goes down how I'm thinking it will.

Edward's staring at me, with his lips turned down as if he's trying to resist smiling. He raises his eyebrows when he noticed I've come back to real time. It's often I get lost in thoughts, in case you haven't noticed. "Oh yeah, well where's my payment, then?"

He was sitting up again, and I rolled over on my bed to face him upright. "It's not my fault you're cheap; you're the one who set your price range at free. Maybe I'll give you a quarter for the full view." Or maybe I'll sell my soul for the full view of Edward Cullen's naked body. Of my best friend's naked body.

"A whole quarter!" he said in mock excitement, grinning again. That smile of his could light up the entirety of this cold, dreary town of Forks. "You'd better pay up then." He started to raise his shirt up, and before he could get it over his head, a pillow hurtled at him from my direction. "Owf!"

As much as I did want the full show, I would not be treated to it during the middle of our friend-zone teasing. He can't know what he does to me – it would be too cruel. I couldn't help but smile, though, as he laughed. "I said maybe I'd pay you; from what little I did see maybe _you_ should be paying _me_ that quarter."

He pouted as I busied myself with pulling my bag over to me, flopping my Calculus book out onto the floor. It was silent for a moment, except for the music coming out of my speakers, before he spoke again, this time more serious. "I'm sorry, Bella, I know you don't like being the reason when Tanya and I fight."

I only nodded at him, and I knew he could tell I did this because I was only accepting his apology, not completely forgiving him. It wasn't my fault everyone else (which included her) seemed to realize Edward belonged with me. "What were you fighting over to begin with?"

The corner of his mouth tilted upwards, letting me know that no matter what reprimanding Tanya could've given him, he still thought it was funny. "Emmett told me to rank the J.V. girls, and Tanya heard me say that Jessica Stanley would be first because she gives the best head."

Even I had to laugh at that. Maybe because I knew that Edward has never actually gotten head from anyone. I knew this because when we'd entered junior high we promised we would tell each other everything; even if it was a sexual experience (this had seemed like a good idea before when neither of us had ever even kissed anyone – now I wished we'd never made that agreement because I certainly did not want to be informed when Edward made it to second base – if he ever got that far with Tanya). Or maybe this was simply humorous because Jessica Stanley had braces.

"See? _You_ get it!" Edward exclaimed as I laughed aloud, and my laughter kind of sputtered to a halt. I didn't like it when Edward compared me to his girlfriend, even though I was guilty of that very same thing. He knew this too, and his own smile dropped off his face when he realized what he had done. "Sorry, Bella."

I focused on my Calculus book, not really knowing what to say to that. Lately, it seemed as if I was always trying to avoid awkwardness when being put in the middle of Edward and his girlfriend. And while I constantly picked out the many differences between us, I didn't like when Edward did it at all. I could say that it was because then I knew that he knew just how wrong I was for his type.

Tanya wore a shirt skirt and high heels every day. The thought alone exhausts me; my wardrobe typically consists of a t-shirt and my converse. I'm far too active for a skirt, and I honestly do not feel like giving anyone a panty shot when I go about my day. As for my shoe choice, it's a safety precaution, honestly. I have enough trouble walking across flat surfaces.

"Did Edward go home yet, Bella?" My dad's voice hollered from down the hall, seeing as he rarely came close to my room, let alone my door.

"Yes, Dad," I figured it was Charlie's own fault if he couldn't be bothered to check out front for Edward's car. It's not like his shiny silver Volvo couldn't be used as a beacon for ships. I think deep down my dad had accepted Edward and my relationship – and a part of me realized that Charlie actually trusted Edward.

Probably because Edward was a bit of a prude.

He'd slept in my bed pretty much every night for the past four years, and the most that had occurred was some spooning now and then. And those had been the result of cold nights or unknowingly cuddling in sleep. It sometimes made me wonder if I was hideous or untouchable. At least it made me comfortable enough to wear whatever the hell I wanted; it wasn't as if my scantily-clothed flesh even tempted Edward.

For example, I was currently donning a big t-shirt, sans bra, and panties. Hey, it is my room' I'm free to wear what I want. Although, I'm pretty sure my dad (or Tanya for that matter) would freak if they knew what occurred nightly. Oh, and FYI, the sans bra thing is not for his benefit, considering a bra can only help _that _situation. I'm still hoping I am a late bloomer.

"Does that mean it's time for bed?" Edward asked curiously, not even feeling the need to whisper.

See? That could only mean that Edward and I weren't sneaking around – hell, my door was technically wide open. Edward stood to shut said door and shimmied out his jeans easily. Okay, well, it _was_ open.

And, to be quite honest, I was a little miffed. Because while Edward seemed to be completely oblivious to my body, mine was quite obviously aware of his. He looked like he should be on a Calvin Klein billboard with his black tee and boxers. Except he needed to get rid of that shirt, and I was not exactly sure Klein sells heart boxers.

He crawled around me on the bed, settling into his spot closest to the window. I shut my Calculus book with a sigh, having only completed two more problems in the homework, and straightened my body out so that I was no longer perpendicular on the bed to him. "You forgot the light, idiot," I said lazily, jumping up to get it.

"No, no, Isabella," he looked at me smugly, "just getting that peek I so rightfully deserve." He stared at my legs appraisingly. My face flushed slightly, no matter how hard I tried to resist. He was instantly delighted by this fact, and he flashed me one of his crooked smiles. I missed those; it seemed as if they were getting rarer and rarer with the introduction of Tanya.

On my way back to bed, I grabbed the pillow I had thrown at him earlier and whacked him with it again for good measure. "My name is Bella," I grumbled, but proceeded to crawl under the covers next to him. And I'd never admit it, but I kind of liked it when he called me by my full name – it seemed more intimate or something.

I relaxed as I felt him turn on to his stomach, and his arm came around my torso of its own accord. His breathing had already evened out, and I knew that if he wasn't asleep yet, he was very close.

The first time he had come to my house, snuck up to my window, and crept into my bed had been about a month after he had found out he was adopted and the day after my mother left. Our relationship was weird that way – we always had moments that made our moods match, tragic or thrilling, we always could relate to each other in our lives.

Renee had divorced Charlie and eloped with a guy half her age all within the span of a year. Carlisle and Esme had finally told Edward he was adopted on his fifteenth birthday – that they'd tried for two years to have a child, had a miscarriage, and then settled on adoption. Less than two months later they found out that Esme was pregnant with Alice. Edward took it kind of hard, but he loved his adoptive parents as if they were his own, and with my help, he'd grown to accept it.

And yet, though those wounds had healed, Edward kept coming. And I kept letting him. How could I turn away my bronze-haired angel when he so rightfully fit in my arms? How could I turn him away when he so rightfully belonged with me?

**Author's Note:**

This fic started on Twilighted, so now I'm transferring what I have so far (five chapters) to .

Basic rundown – Started with me falling in love with Taylor Swift's new album, one song in particular, and this is what came out of it. Was going to be a short little thing, around six chapters, but because of the response I received, I decided to make it longer for you guys. Anyways, please review with comments! I won't be saying much in the next author's notes, until I get caught up to where I am on Twilighted. Oh, and there's also a forum there if you're interested. Thanks!


	2. Party 'n Park

**You Belong With Me**

**By: emerald(e)grl**

**Chapter Two : Party n' Park**

Edward's parents had gone to some sort of doctor function, which meant they left their mansion-sized house in the care and trust of Edward and Alice. This, in turn, meant that a party was in full blown mode at the Cullen house.

If you ask me, I think that the Cullens know exactly what goes on in their house. Once, when Edward had to stumble through an explanation to his father about why one of the family photo frame had been cracked, I'd seen Esme smirk. But they trusted their children to be smart about it; and indeed, they were.

Edward and Alice never touched a drink when the party was at their house, and while they let liquor slide, they never supplied it themselves. Besides, teenagers will be teenagers. Plus, they made upstairs completely off limits, which meant you never had to open a door and get a full view of an X-rated sex scene.

Although there was still some pretty heaving petting going on in the living room at times.

I sat on the kitchen counter, cradling an opened, yet full, beer, feeling a little sorry for myself. I forced my knees together remembering the get-up Alice had placed on Bella Barbie. Have I mentioned I loathe skirts? I was wearing a v-neck quarter sleeve black shirt with a pleated denim skirt, thanks to Edward's sister. I refuse to call her one of my best friends right now.

Okay, I'm being a little unfair. The outfit is not so bad; it's kind of cute actually. Plus, she let me wear my cons (as if she could convince me to wear heels), so that's nice. The outfit was supposed to subtly attract Edward's attention – I can't imagine how considering I have no cleavage for the v-neck and Edward's never second-looked at my legs when they'd been in less.

Besides, he'd shot me one glance before giving all his attention back to Tanya. She was upset that she wasn't allowed upstairs, and was making quite the scene out of it. I almost felt bad for her; it seemed she so direly needed an Edward manual. He hated public confrontation or the spotlight of that sort.

I'd retired to the kitchen before Tanya could spot me and bring me into the argument. I tried never to actually be present when she wanted to drag my best friend status into the equation. As if she had anything to be worried about – she was the one who got to stick her tongue down his throat.

"There are plenty of other guys here who would actually make a move when I'm throwing myself at them, Edward!" Her grating voice drifted over the party sounds into the kitchen. Oh, she wanted to go upstairs to get naughty with Edward, I could kind of understand that desire, even if I in no way wanted to sympathize on that issue with the blonde.

"Hey, Bella, guess you like it on the kitchen counter, eh?" James had entered the kitchen when I'd been occupied trying to hear Edward's response to Tanya's comment with no such luck. He was staring at the V of my shirt, and I could see his hand inching up to cope a feel of my legs. What a prick.

"You'll never get to find out, James," I hopped off the counter – thankfully without injury – and headed through to the greeting room (basically just another living room for the huge Cullen house). The atmosphere in there was slightly more cheery, much to my annoyance, and I took a swig of the beer still in my hands. It was awful. I set it on the table next to the couple fondling each other.

I sneered at them, about to move on to the next room before I caught sight of the corner. I stalked over there angrily, smacking Mike Newton in the back of the head. He looked up with an indignant expression, before a grin split his face at the sight of me. Or the sight of me in Alice's outfit. "Get the fuck up, Newton."

His face fell, and I almost felt bad, before I remembered that he was sitting at Edward's piano. I placed a hand gently on the top of it and my other hand on my hip, giving him a glare that usually could not be called to my face. I was having a pretty crappy night, though, and everyone with half a brain knew that one of Edward's rules was not to sit at this piano.

"_Now_, before I throw you off," He got up quickly with that comment, and stalked off, probably to sulk with the beer I had just set down. I pushed the bench back in and continued to my destination. I shot a quick a glance around, saw no one watching, and escaped through the patio door. I was in no mood to be bothered again.

Not two seconds after I seated myself on the bench, I heard the door open and close again. "I swear to God, James, I will kick you in the balls if you try to stare down my shirt again." I crossed my arms in anger, and also for warmth. It was colder out here now that is was night than it had been this afternoon while the sun had still been up.

"Did he mess with you?" I recognized the voice without delay, and looked up to see Edward's frown. I sighed in relief; he was probably the only one I could tolerate right now. He sat on the bench next to me, his jeaned leg next to my bare one. It was nice, the immediate heat that radiated from him to me. I subconsciously leaned toward him, seeking more warmth.

"He tried; don't worry, I can take care of myself." I tried to encourage the persistent frown to leave his face, but it didn't lessen. In fact, it might've increased, considering the way he wouldn't look me in the eye. "Hey, you okay?"

He gave me a wry smile, and I frowned back at it, not liking the dryness of his expression. "I'm trying to worry about you, and you can only focus on my troubles." I remained silent, looking at him, knowing it would take a moment, but the truth would come out. "I'm okay..."

He's not okay. I know him way better than that, to know a lie of his when I see one. It makes me wonder what he's really doing with Tanya, what he could want with a girl like that. I wouldn't dare to ever ask though.

He seemed to get that I knew he was bluffing, so he continued. "Tanya just doesn't understand that I can't leave a party in my parents' house unattended."

I didn't point out that was exactly what he was doing out here with me. That would be rude… and too honest. Because then it'd come to the question of why he'd break the rules for me and not her. Did best friend outrank girlfriend? And in what situations? Shouldn't I get the whole Bestfriend/Girlfriend Guidebook of Rules and What is Okay?

"She left in a huff, done with her dramatics for one night." I held my tongue, knowing that a snarky comment against his girlfriend was probably not a bright idea. "I talked to Alice; she, Jasper, Emmett, and Rose are going to watch the party."

"Which means that Jasper is going to watch the party while Emmett and Rose sneak upstairs and Alice tries to distract Jasper." I said lightly, wanting to see him smile. It came to his face almost begrudgingly, and it was too brief for my liking. Tanya was really bringing him down. I didn't like it. "You want to walk to the park?"

He thought for a moment, and then nodded, glancing at me out of the corner of his eye. He stood up, offering me a hand. I took it, and thought about escaping inside to try and find a coat but then he was pulling me along to the gate on his fence, not even bothering to go through the front door. It seemed he really needed this escape, so I went without protest.

The street was silent, and considering the party was still in its early stages, no one had even moved outside yet. We went through the alley, between two houses, and took the usual short cut to the nearby park. Goosebumps erupted on my legs as a light breeze went by. Okay, idiot idea to go walking around in late November in Forks in a skirt.

Our walk was quiet, I don't know what was going through Edward's head, but I didn't want to disrupt the stillness that surrounded us in the night. He still held my hand as we walked, but that wasn't so unusual. Many times we held hands when one of us was leading, or when we were in a crowd – it was normal and comfortable for us.

We made it to the park in no time, and of course, it was empty. I think there is a curfew time on the place, but no security cars were around, so we headed over. I looked down, trying to watch for twigs and roots and even flat surfaces so as not to face plummet. Not that I was too worried about that with Edward at my side.

In all our years, he had gotten pretty good at anticipating my spills and was usually there to grip my hand or arm at just the moment my balance or footing faltered. I noticed he was wearing his favorite pair of jeans, and coincidentally, my favorite too. They were a darker wash, and worn in the natural way, the best way, if you can find a pair in stores that wasn't already distressed.

I don't know if they were my favorite because he looked so good in them, or I'd once asked him to let me try them on, or if it was because I'd written my name in Sharpie on the bottom hem. When I'd asked to try them on, he'd shed them right there – the first time he'd ever disrobed such a prominent garment – and I'd done the same with my own trying not to over analyze. Wasn't something like two best friends in their underwear normal?

Anyways, I'd pulled them up, got them just barely over my hips, but the button wasn't even close. He had laughed at me as I pouted. Even then, they were worn in an attractive amount, and I'd wanted them to fit so I could steal them from time to time. "Bella, when did those sexy curves come in?" I'd blushed, stuck my tongue at him, and ran, trying to temporarily steal jeans that didn't even fit.

My name in Sharpie had occurred on a Tuesday. His feet had been in my lap, much to my dismay (no matter my love for him, I was not a foot stool), and I'd been making a poster for my history class. I don't remember exactly what he had said now, but I'd gotten angry and wrote my name in permanent ink at the hem of his pants – B E L L A.

I smiled as I remembered he hadn't even got mad, only laughed at my instantly apologetic face, thinking I'd ruined the most perfect pair of pants ever. "Hey, hey, it's okay Bella, you've only made them better." He hugged me as my eyes filled up with tears. Edward and I fought a lot, but we were immediately remorseful once we'd gotten the yelling out or done the mean action.

He brought us over to the swings, because usually I wanted that, wanted the feel of his hands on my back as he pushed me, making my stomach flip over a little from the momentum and gravity and a little from his touch. But I was in a skirt, and I didn't feel like having my body react to his touch right now. I realized that I was a little mad at him.

I tugged us a little harder than necessary to the nearby bench, and noticed his raised eyebrows at my action. I couldn't help thinking that this wasn't how this whole scenario was supposed to go. I shouldn't be in a skirt, I shouldn't be angry at Edward when he chose me, he shouldn't be feeling bad because he wouldn't go against his own rules for his girlfriend, we shouldn't have to sneak away in the night so as not to deal with what was supposed to be a fun time at a party.

"I saw you smack Mike in the back of the head for sitting on my piano," Edward commented, his voice low and velvet. I almost sighed. "Thanks, Bella."

I really had nothing to say that, especially considering Edward hadn't even cracked a smile at the mention of abusing Mike – a boy he disliked ever since I'd picked him one time for a gym partner when Edward and I had been fighting.

"Edward," and then I burst into a fit of giggles. Call me crazy, I know.

And even as he shot me an incredulous (and slightly scared for my insanity) look, I could only laugh harder. Things may be the way they were, things may be against me, and things might be holding me back – but I knew in my heart Edward belonged to me. So really, this was all just ridiculous. Juvenile, even.

Can you see the humor in the situation?

"Bella…" The corners of his mouth turned down as he fought with everything he had against the grin I could see in his eyes. "You are utterly absurd," He shook his head, but I shoved him lightly, and it was enough to set a true grin on his face. Edward and I had been best friends for ten years, and no matter what his girlfriend did, I wasn't going to let it come between us.

And obviously, he wasn't going to let that happen either. For now, in this moment, on this dark – freezing – park bench, that was enough for me.

I looked at Edward again, and noticed his face was relaxed, his features free from his earlier distress. Then I noticed a slow smirk come to his face; I gulped, that expression was usually never good. "Bella, you are totally nipping over there in that thin shirt, you know."

Oh, well, thanks so much. I crossed my arms with a huff and felt my cheeks warm slightly. He laughed good-naturedly, and it was enough for me to forgive him, seeing that he was back in his usual spirits.

"Come here," I hesitated, and then clambered into his lap none too gracefully. He unzipped his coat, took the edges and wrapped me in them, bringing me to rest against his chest. My torso was instantly warmed, and I sighed in delight, my head falling to his shoulder, my mouth near his collarbone. "Jeez, Bella, you were cold, why didn't you tell me?"

"I was kind of mad at you," I replied honestly, curling my legs closer to him, even though I knew if there was somebody to come by they would clearly be able to see my underwear-covered bottom. He waited patiently for me to continue, knowing we both needed to get everything off our chests. "You didn't say hi to me, which is kind of petty considering you were a little busy, but I could've used a friendly face after Alice's hours-long torture in her room."

He chuckled, and the sound was delicious, making his body shake slightly against my own. "I'm sorry. Hi Bella,"

"Hello, Edward," I said, glancing at him with a pleased smile. He waited again, knowing me well enough to know there was more. "And I don't like being the reason for most of your fights with Tanya; it makes me feel bad that she uses me to make you feel bad." I said this more quietly, because this was an ongoing truth, not something that had occurred only today.

His arms tightened slightly, and I didn't look up at his face, not wanting to see that frown that marred his beautiful face. "Bella, believe me, that is not your fault. The truth is that Tanya is just jealous of you; she doesn't like that she doesn't always get my full attention."

"Yeah…" I mumbled, and even though I didn't want to do it, I knew I had to, to be honest with Edward. "Maybe, well, maybe you should've gone after her instead of to find me?" Except it came out more like an unsure question, instead of the forceful way I'd meant to say it. I wanted him to know it was okay to pick Tanya over me – even though it so wasn't.

He froze, in turn causing me to stop my movements too. "Bella…" He sounded so pained, I instantly wished for the words I had said to come back to mouth, back to my head, where my terrible filter could try that one again. He sighed, his body relaxing again. "Maybe, but I didn't want to go after her. I wanted to find you."

Good, because you belong with me.

"Okay, that's it from my side. Your turn." I knew his would be harder, that I was always the one that had to go first because he was that infuriating strong silent type that resisted sharing feelings at all costs. It had taken many years of training to get him to do so for me.

"I think maybe I was kind of upset at our greeting too, actually." He murmured; he always had to build himself up for this – what a boy. "I was going to tease you about your skirt; I think I was going to go with 'I've seen better legs on a chair'." I pinched his side, because it was the only harm I could do in our position. He only laughed.

"Yeah, well, I would've responded with a different form of physical abuse than this one – preferably a more painful one. Then I would've said 'I've seen better faces on a clock'." I smiled to myself as he laughed again.

It was silent for a moment; he was trying to avoid the true issue. "Tanya… I guess I don't understand why she won't respect one of the only rules I have for a house party. She was there five minutes and then she tried to drag me upstairs. Plus, I don't want my first time to be at some house party, even if it is at my house."

"You should tell her that, Edward; she'll probably understand and want her first time to be somewhere better too." I tried to hold me tongue, not wanting to blurt out that I thought we had an agreement to share all sexual experiences. If he was thinking about sex, that must mean they've at least gotten to second base.

"That's the other thing though; she's not a virgin, she's already slept with two other people." Oh, dang. And I know what you're thinking, it shouldn't be that surprising, but let me just say, this is Forks. And small towns usually have a higher virginity percentage, especially since you've known everyone since grade school. Not that that keeps me from wanting to jump Edward, I guess.

"You don't want her anymore because she's not a virgin?" I tried to imagine if I would still want Edward if he wasn't a virgin. Hell yes, I'd take him anyway he came, faults and mistakes, past and what-not. I wondered briefly if he ever did happen want me, if he would continue to want me if I wasn't a virgin.

"It's not that, exactly," Edward paused, trying to formulate his sentences. "I just feel like sex isn't sacred to her anymore, and I want it to mean something." He sighed, and I felt his hand twitch as if he wanted to run it through his unruly locks – a habit he'd had ever since one summer he'd gotten a buzz cut, decided never again, and proceeded to feel it every minute as if it was growing right under his touch. "If you were a guy, you'd probably tell me to man up and just do it."

I thought about that for a moment. "Well get on it, Cullen! You've got a panty-dropping girlfriend who is all too ready for some loving, man!" I looked up to see that ever-familiar twist to his lips that showed his indecision of whether to smile or not.

"Nice try, Bella, but I think you need some work on guy talk. You didn't even use any vulgarity." He chuckled slightly under his breath, probably laughing at my use of 'loving' instead of 'fucking'. Well, whatever, I'm a girl, and I'm definitely not going to go encourage him to fuck another girl, no matter how good of a friend I am. "Besides, all those years ago I chose a _girl_ best friend, and so it's a _girl's_ advice I want."

Hmm, Bella's advice would be all this time you've been looking for a girl, and hello, I'm right here. But as simply a girl…? "Communication is key. You have to tell her that sex means something to you, and that if you two do decide to do it, you want it to mean something to her too."

He mumbled something deep in his chest that sounded like an agreement just as another breeze went by. My legs shivered. He seemed to notice, because before I could stop him one of his hands escaped the cocoon of his jacket and our bodies, and slide down my leg. And then back up. Back and forth, until my right leg felt as if it was burning.

Oh, sweet Lord, the wonders of friction.

I glanced up at him again, seeing that lovely crooked grin, _my_ crooked grin. It was as I was contemplating how easy this all was, as I was deciding if I wanted to press my open mouth to his collarbone that I decided I wouldn't last much longer. Things were getting into dangerous territory. "Hey, Edward, you mind if we go back now? I'm kind of freezing."

He seemed reluctant for a moment, before he pushed us both up from the bench. "Yeah, we'll go." He slipped his jacket off his shoulders and on to mine before I could protest, and then stuck close to me as we made our trek back. I tried to slowly breathe in his familiar, comforting, and intoxicating scent, so as not to inhale too much at once.

Consequences of that action result in a slight dizzying effect or Edward's curious attention. Trust me, I know.

We snuck back in the way we came, through the big expanse of his empty backyard. As we passed his pool, I wondered if it would freeze over this year. One year it did and I remembered as Edward taught me how to ice skate. I don't even know where he learned such a task, but it made sense seeing as he was perfect at everything.

I opened my mouth to remind him of that time, and finally ask him where and how he did learn to ice skate, but stopped at the look he was giving me. We'd made it to the patio by now, and the lights were still off, telling me no one had noticed our absence and gone looking for us. His eyes were dark, but not in anger or pain, or any emotion I'd ever witnessed so openly on his face.

The dark look in his eyes was raw and unguarded, and it dropped all thoughts out of my head. His hands reached out for the edges of his jacket once again, and I half stumbled toward him as he gracefully moved toward me. I honestly don't know who reached for who – who's lips sought the other's – but I think we met somewhere in the middle.

I didn't process much else thought-wise besides the feel of it all. The tightening of his hands against his jacket, pulling me further into his chest, my arms lifting to grab the back of head as I tried to hold on, his lips on mine, my lips on his. It was a mix of need and want and urgency and laziness and soft and hard. And pretty much everything in between.

We broke apart too quickly, and for the life of me, I could not bring my gaze up to meet his. This new silence was unbearable – what was he thinking? Had I attacked him? I didn't want to see the emotions I knew I would on his face; between pity, revulsion, and guilt, I knew I could take none of them. Oh god, what was he thinking?

The lights snapped on, and I turned back to the patio door just as Alice appeared to be opening it. She grinned at us, seemingly oblivious to what she'd just pranced into, and dragged Jasper's body closer to us, presenting him to us in the crowded doorway. "Tag, you're it,"

"Alice means that we've looked after them long enough, it's time to call Charlie or it's your turn to baby-sit again." Jasper explained easily, and then dragged Alice off himself this time. They were gone, heading up the stairs I guessed.

I debated for a moment, before deciding that I wasn't going to humiliate myself anymore, so I hurried forward to the door, trying to submerse myself into the loud sounds of the party guests. But I was caught, my jacket – Edward's jacket – pulled again, this time to stall me for a verbal assault instead of the physical kind.

"Bella," Except it was more like _Bell-ah_, two breaths. I still couldn't look at him, even though now I could read the frustration in his voice. "Fine, don't look at me; but can we at least talk about this?" Huh, that was funny. Usually it was me begging him to talk about our feelings.

"I…" I what? Loved him? Yes. Wanted to kiss him again? Hell yes. Needed him to realize he belonged with me? Fuck yes. "I'm going to call Charlie, you break up the party." I escaped quickly this time, not wanting to be stalled again – because next time I would look at him, and then I would be lost.

Charlie was used to this call, the one where I would call him to take care of any stragglers, and then he would try to give me the responsible teen speech on the way home. While I did this, Edward would inform the party guests that his neighbors had called the cops and all of them, and their beer, needed to be gone ASAP. They were as used to the routine as Edward and I had become.

The house cleared out pretty fast, and it was almost like a game of cat and mouse the way I darted from room to room as soon as Edward had entered my previous one. He must've known I was avoiding him, and I tried not to think on his hurt expression. For just a couple more hours I wanted the memory of that kiss untarnished.

Is that too much to ask for? I knew when he found me – which of course he would, because I could not stay away from him no more than he could stay away from me – that he would try to let me down as nicely as possible. He would desperately try to salvage our friendship by being polite and understanding.

He would play his part perfectly, because he was perfect.

I, however, was not. And I'd known all along it would come to this, it just came sooner than the plan had been anticipating. So I would play in front of him, imagine that things were fine and dandy, and then escape to my prison in Arizona. Without him – without anybody.

When Charlie arrived, I jumped in the cruiser immediately, just like the coward I was. He looked at me curiously, before heading inside to make sure Edward had it under control. He did, this time there was no one left but Emmett, Rose, Alice, and Jasper, who (besides Alice) would be leaving later. It was actually pretty early for this party to end, but I guess the circumstances made it so.

Charlie was back soon enough, sensing my demeanor, and yet not quite knowing how to bring it up. His fingers thrummed nervously on the steering wheel as we headed home, and I almost wished to open up and tell him just so he would feel like the kind of father a girl could come to, or whatever, but I didn't.

I escaped to my room to mentally prepare for Edward. I figured I would tell him, apologize, and act like everything was back to normal as I fell asleep. I even had a few phrases picked out to use on him and make him feel better about rejecting me. So I waited, lying in my bed, door closed, lights off, window unlocked as usual.

Edward never came that night.


	3. Bleachers

**You Belong With Me**

**By: emerald(e)grl**

**Chapter Three : Bleachers**

By the time my clock read noon, I figured he wasn't coming. Yeah, yeah, I'm kind of slow, but I was just so shocked he hadn't shown. I rolled and tossed all night without him next to me – it was awful. When I saw the sun come up through my open window – despite the chill, I'd left it open in hope – I knew something must've happened.

This thought kept me two seconds from calling him, before I remembered the way I'd attacked him. It obviously had to have been me going for him, I now realized. There was no way Edward would've ever kissed me purposefully. It also made sense that he didn't pull away simply because he hadn't wanted to hurt my feelings.

Even if he didn't like me _that_ way (the way I wanted), it didn't mean I wasn't his best friend that he cared for in a platonic way. So while half of me was angry and upset at him for not showing up, the other half of me understood. Edward was just trying to give me space after my embarrassing display.

And yet… and yet there was that spark when we'd kissed. The electricity when we touched and the passion in the kiss – all of that was there. Could I really be the only one to feel that? Had my love for Edward made up these feelings? Or did Edward and I really belong together like I keep telling myself not to hope for?

I remembered the first time Edward and I had kissed – my first kiss.

It had been during the summer before eighth grade, and while we had been hanging out at the beach at La Push -- Edward hated that beach, he said the water was too dirty or something but we'd somehow come to conversation of kissing and making out.

Neither of us had ever had a first kiss, and we discussed a few of our anxieties, mine mostly being about my mouth tasting funky and his being not knowing what he was supposed to do with his tongue. We'd gone back in the ocean and continued our day; it was sometime later, after the sun had set, that Edward turned to me and said "Well, let's just get it over with."

"If you want to go home, all you had to do was say something, baby," I'd said, thinking he was complaining about the beach again. Or maybe it was something about the people around the beach – I can't exactly remember.

"No, Bella, I meant let's be each other's first kiss." I think my jaw might've dropped along with my face turning to a nice red beacon during the late dawn. He only grinned at me, shifting closer as we sat side by side on the sand. "Come on, that way there is no pressure. We'll learn together, so there will be no embarrassment later."

I didn't want to say that it was embarrassing now. "I don't know, Edward…" He quickly leaned in and pecked me on the lips, quick and sweet, and not nearly enough. Even though I'd always dreamed about sharing kisses with Edward, it had never been quite like this. All in the name of experimentation.

"See? That wasn't so bad." He said calmly, crooked smile on his face. I tried not to look at it, knowing that perfectly imperfect smile of his could get me to do anything. Even back then I had been dazzled by him with that secret weapon of his.

I tried to be mad. "That was my first kiss, Edward!" My glare was a terrible attempt at reprimanding, and I think he could tell it was half-hearted, because he leaned in again, his eyes taunting me. I backed away slightly, afraid I would give in to be his practice buddy, and tried to remember I was supposed to be angry. "You stole it!"

He laughed a little too hard for my liking at that. "Well, it's not like I can give it back, so you might as well accept it." Oh, what a charmer. "If you want to get back at me, you can steal my first French kiss. Then we'd be even."

That actually kind of made sense, which is ridiculous, and one of the usual ways Edward can twist logic to make me fall for whatever he is plotting. I can't tell you how many times I'd been tricked into helping him complete a prank – when he wasn't pranking _me_ of course. "You cannot tell me I can steal something; it's not even stealing then."

He thought about that for a second, his lips turning down to try and cover his smile. "You're absolutely right, Bella," His hands went to grasp his mouth, covering his lips from me. "Oh please, no, Isabella, don't steal my first French kiss!" Boys are so immature at thirteen.

This time my glare was real. He really was going to steal my first kiss and then mock me for wanting a kiss to be special. And if not for that, he called me by my full name. Ugh. "Edward!" It sounded more like a whine than I wanted, and Edward laughed, stopping his charade of not wanting me to come near him.

I tackled him into the sand, pushing his shoulders down, my knees falling to either side of him. His laughter abruptly halted, and I grinned, feeling like I had won. Until I felt his hands grasp either side of my face, and felt his body under mine shake with his laughter when he felt my cheeks flush. His face showed that he had most definitely won.

"Agh, what the hell," I grumbled, allowing Edward to bring me down to his lips once again, this time our mouths lingering longer than a peck.

"Wait, I want to do this vertically first," I heard Edward mumble against my lips when we had pulled slightly away. Edward pushed himself up easily to a sitting position with me still on his lap, and I realized he had wanted me to push him down, otherwise it wouldn't have been so easy with my strength.

I kissed him this time, liking that he wanted me on top of him for some reason. Oh, if I knew then what I know now. His lips were strangely soft and warm against my own, and as he continued to go back and forth from my lips to my cheeks and area around my mouth, I knew he was waiting for me to initiate the French kiss that was mine to steal.

So when he came back to my lips, I licked his lower lip lightly, and instantly his mouth opened up to me. My tongue touched his tentatively, and a part of me wanted to pull away. It was exciting and thrilling, sure, but scary and new too. Edward and I went off the sounds of each other, repeating motions that the other seemed to like.

For instance, at first when Edward's tongue came into my mouth, I was almost afraid I was going to choke on it, but then he seemed to relax, his tongue gently exploring and pushing just the right amount against my own tongue. Edward caught on quickly, as with most things.

I'm not sure how I did exactly, but he seemed to like it for the most part, judging by his sounds. The best sound, most likely in the world, was Edward's groan when I decided to try nipping at his bottom lip. It was sweet, low, and I felt the sound through my whole mouth, the rumble making my stomach flip.

It was just kissing, but sometimes his hand would curl around the ends of my hair, playing with it until our kisses gradually slowed. A lazy smile came to his face and his emerald eyes were clearly visible to me even though it was completely dark now. "I'd say our skill has drastically improved."

I wasn't sure what to say to that, so I tried to play it cool as the best friend. "Thanks, Romeo, now let's go home." I got up, pulling him up as he pouted at me. I laughed at him and shoved him back down into the sand. "That's for stealing my first kiss!" And I ran as he chased me.

Things were easier back then.

Without parties, rumors, girlfriends, and maturity. Things got harder as you grew up, because there simply was so much _more_ to deal with. Cookies and crayons didn't mend things as easily now as they did when you're young.

Eventually, I decided to get up from wallowing on my bed. I obviously wasn't going to be getting any real sleep without Edward there, and I had to take a shower and get ready for the day. Now it was almost five, and I'd pretty much decided I would try to push the attack from last night out of my head, for Edward's sake as well as my mine. Today was a game day. Woo! Okay, to be honest I hate football. Well, for the most part.

When Edward first joined football in junior high, I was none too pleased. I thought he was too smart to be the jock type (I'm a bit stereotypical, I guess you could say). And he would come to me all the time with scratches and bruises I hadn't seen the day before. Anything that was hurting Edward could not be something I approved off.

Plus the fact that they were tossing and catching the ol' pigskin just seemed… well, I think you get it. But then I noticed other things, like how more ridges appeared on his stomach, and how when he'd hug me his arms would tighten with more strength that used to be there. And I realized that incredibly sexy Edward was even better than just sexy Edward. Call me shallow, whatever.

Not to mention when he'd make me sit through his practices so that we could do something after, and he'd come to me flushed, sweating, and jubilant. I've heard somewhere endorphins make you happy, and if football was upping his endorphin count, who was I to stop his fun? And, hello, _sweating_ Edward.

I think it was the games that really sealed the deal – have you _seen_ what they wear?

Anyway, Edward would be with his team warming up on the field before kick-off which means I could go to the Cullen house to get Alice without fearing a confrontation. Good.

The Lumberjacks were in playoffs this year, hence the Saturday night scheduling. We were actually doing pretty well this year; we might even win… whatever there was to win.

Have I mentioned I'm not much of a football fan?

By the time I made it to Alice's, my stomach was grumbling louder than the Pequod's floorboards when a storm was tossing it around. Oh god, curse Moby Dick. And did I really just use that as an example? I really didn't get enough sleep.

"Bella bells, ditch the game with me tonight!" Alice called, prancing across the driveway to my beat-up truck. I slammed the beast's door shut and caught her as she crashed into me, almost sending us both crashing into the ground. She was energetic and boundary-absent as usual – I guess Edward hadn't said anything.

On the drive over, I thought about telling Alice what had happened, and asking for her sage advice, but I didn't exactly know how to open the topic. I certainly didn't want to blurt something out like that, not if I could avoid embarrassment at all costs by just skirting the issue. "Ditch the game – why?"

It kind of sounded agreeable, to be honest. But I wanted to see Edward too badly after his night of absence, and I couldn't imagine not going to a game simply just because. I'd gone to every game of his unless I was sick, just like he'd read every article I'd ever written – even the ones that didn't make it to print.

"Because Jasper and I want to go to a movie! And Edward was being a jerk, anyways, why would I want to go cheer him on?" Alice pouted, releasing me slightly so she wasn't literally hanging off of me. Only slightly hugging me.

"What did he do?" I couldn't help it that I was curious; Edward was rarely what someone would call a jerk. Well, I mean, I called him a jerk all the time, but only jokingly, Alice seemed truly miffed.

"He was moping around the house ever since he came out from his room this morning. And all I did was some harmless teasing…" She kind of trailed of there, looking at me guiltily. I knew instantly her teasing had involved me. Great. And no wonder he'd been mean.

I hated that he had been mean because of me.

"Alice, you know I'm going to go to his game still," I said in a sigh. If Alice and Jasper weren't going that meant I would be sitting alone at the game. Emmett played, and while Rosalie did go to the games, she shouted the _whole_ time. She'd grown accustomed to sitting by herself so she could yell her lungs out. She's kind of competitive. And intense.

"I figured you would say that," she pouted again, but this time it was directed for my benefit. Then she seemed to have a thought, because her eyes widened just a bit and her pout turned more thoughtful than pity-inducing. "You wouldn't happen to know why Edward was in jerk mode, do you, Bella?"

"No, of course not." But I was a terrible liar, so it came out meek and I even made the amateur mistake of shifting my eyes away nervously. Alice, the perceptive little pixie, knew immediately I knew _exactly_ why Edward was in so-called 'jerk mode'.

"Uh huh." She really should work on her sarcasm. Sarcasm should be a weapon used for jokes and teasing, not simply to make someone else squirm uncomfortably. Because that's exactly what I was doing. "Well, I'll be here if you ever figure out why he is, in case you want to talk about it." Not going to happen. "So I guess I'll see you whenever then."

"Sure, sure." I escaped to my truck before she could try mind games to get me to spill. Alice was a little too crafty for her own good. Or my good – which ever.

I arrived at the Forks Stadium sooner than I had anticipated. The game must've already started because the parking lot was mostly empty from students and parents, leaving me alone with a lot full of empty cars.

Football was pretty big for our town, as is usual with the sport and small towns, but it wasn't legendary or anything. Especially considering this was the first time we'd made it to playoffs in five or so years. Anyways, the stadium was small, with a grass field instead of turf, but I found a spot in the very far corner.

Unfortunately, I had to make awkward social talk until I reached a spot with no one I knew, but after I was there, people left me alone. Usually, my friends and I sat near the middle, one or two rows away from the front, but I didn't want to be that close to Edward. Or Tanya for that matter.

She was easy enough to find, smile bright, skirt small and flying about her. It's a wonder she wasn't freezing in that cheerleading uniform, but I couldn't be bothered to give her much more sympathy than that. She, as well as the rest of the squad, seemed to be yelling a cheer of some sort, but I couldn't make it out over the noise of the crowd and the distance I sat away.

I refused to think about whether Edward had told her that I attacked him. I so was not getting into that conversation with _her_, when I couldn't even talk to Alice or Edward about it. Especially Edward. I made my decision just then that I was going to talk to him right after the game. Maybe convince him to come back to my bed.

That sounded wrong on so many levels.

Okay, just one level. But you get what I mean. My eyes sought out Edward's form – sweet lord, thank you for inventing sexy shoulder pads and those tight, _tight_ white pants – and I noticed him glancing toward the stands every so often. It seemed he was looking for his friends, or maybe just me.

I stared at him for a long time, seeing as he wasn't playing just now, until I saw him start to scan the entire crowd, finally figuring that we'd picked different spots. I shrunk inside myself slightly when his gaze traveled across me, but he seemed to not notice me. Oh, right, he was looking for three.

Then, Edward was being called out to play, and he didn't have a chance to look for me. I breathed a sigh of relief for a reason I couldn't determine. What was I afraid of? That he would shout across the whole stadium to tell me to stay away and not to attack him anymore?

Tyler Crowley came by and stopped to ask me how I was enjoying the game and I talked to him for as long as bearable. He kept asking me questions about the last play made and whether I liked the offense this year, so for the most part I was just nodding and letting him answer his own questions. Tyler was a tool much like Mike, but harmless.

Until he asked me out on a date after the game, and then I had to tell him that Charlie wanted me home early. Which was a huge lie, Charlie was fishing down at La Push with Billy, but I guess my lying skills were only bad in front of my actual friends. Eventually, I got Tyler moving along with a promise to talk to him later.

When I looked back down, I noticed Edward staring right at me. My automatic response this time was a smile – and even though it makes sense seeing as he is my best friend, I still felt a little bi-polar. It was obvious I was having trouble deciding whether I wanted to pretend last night never happened or I wanted to avoid him like the plaque.

His smile seemed automatic and I breathed an internal sigh of relief. Okay, this was good, this was normal.

I could try and describe the rest of the game for you, but it would go something like this. A guy on our team did something in a crowd, and then I think he threw it to another guy who went off running, until a guy from the other team tackled him, and the guy on our team stopped and then they started over again and again and again. Until it somehow switched over to the other team…

Or someone got a touchdown. Please don't ask me the specifics.

Anyways, it ended with us losing by seven points. Everyone was disappointed, but I couldn't help thinking how glad I was. No more football games meant that I didn't have to freeze my ass off sitting on the bleachers at another football game. Plus, Edward would have more free time.

As the crowds left the stadium, I waited, not wanting to brave the traffic and emotional Forks' citizens. While I was happy to have lost, it seemed most of the town was disappointed. It cleared out pretty fast, much to my delight, and I took my time taking careful steps down the stands. Falling and tumbling down the massive amount of stairs to my death did not sound like a good way to spend my Saturday night.

"Bella!" Edward's shout was instantly recognizable, and I saw him running across the field to meet me at wall separating us. He looked up at me, clear relief on his face, and I couldn't help but feel the same. "I'm so glad you waited for me. I didn't think I'd catch you before you left." He looked up at me, and I pulled my jacket tighter around me, biting my lip.

"I wasn't really waiting for you, just waiting for the crowd to die down." Oh, man, that was awkward. He looked for a moment like he didn't know what to say, and I instantly scrambled to try and find something to ease the tension. "So, I saw you got your ass kicked out there."

Thankfully, he laughed, just as his usual reaction to a mocking remark I would make. I smiled back at him, figuring it was pretty much decided that I would be ignoring last night as a plan of action. "Come down there, and you can take us home." He pointed further down where a fence was so that he could get off the field and we could head to the parking lot.

I nodded even though I was full of questions. Did he still want to speak with me? Was he ignoring it just like me? Was I taking him home and then returning to my own house for another night alone? Or was he referring to 'home' as my house? And where was his shiny silver Volvo?

As I walked down to where Edward had pointed, I noticed that now the only people left were some of the faculty – a concession worker and someone gathering the trash bags in the trash bins. It wasn't often that I was nervous at the thought of being alone with Edward, in fact, I'd only been nervous during the first stages of my crush or whenever Alice put me in ridiculous outfits.

I was in jeans and a t-shirt now, which made it absolutely ridiculous that I was nervous. This is me pretending everything's normal. This is me walking towards him even as his face lights up with that crooked smile. This is me being confident and sure of myself.

Oh, who am I kidding? This is me freaking out over my best friend.

"Where are Alice and Jasper?" he asked curiously when we reached each other, and headed back the way I'd come, under the bleachers and towards the parking lot. He had changed out of his football pads and such, so he walked next to me in jeans and an old t-shirt.

He was still a little sweaty and a part of me wanted to lick the side of his face. A thought that was totally not appropriate at the time. So I focused instead on answering his question, and trying not to inhale his intoxicating scent. "They went to a movie instead." You know actually scent might be good. "And jeez, you need a shower Edward – you stink."

There we go, that's more like a normal girl who wasn't in love with her best friend. He didn't say anything else about Alice and Jasper, and I was thankful because that would just lead us into why she didn't come, why he had a bad attitude, why he never came that night, and why I attacked him. Not a train of thought I wanted to be on.

He stuck his tongue out at me playfully, "Is that so?"

"My nose thinks so," I said, shoving him away as he tried to lean in. His smell wasn't that bad, just a little more muskier than usual I guess you could say. But you can see how his new scent would be a problem, can't you? "Edward, don't! That's so gross!"

He proceeded to flick some of the sweat from his bangs at me – not enough for me to actually feel anything, but I couldn't help teasing him like this. This was where our relationship needed to stay. Purely best friend zone; I definitely don't need a broken heart and a broken friendship.

Suddenly Edward pushed me against one of the huge columns that helped support the bleachers. I had the errant thought of I'm glad it was there, because now it was helping to support me too. Edward's eyes had the dark look again, and while I was glad to know all parts him, this particular one sent the much-needed breath from my lungs.

He was kissing me just as quickly, cementing my need for air. But eh, with a mouth like Edward's attached to your own, air is a little overrated. So I settled for bringing my hands up from his chest to wrap around his neck, and slid my fingers through his copper locks. Edward made a sound I hadn't heard from him before, and his arm wrapped around my waist tightened, pulling me against his chest.

Well, _that _was delightful.

All too soon, he was pulling away, and my hands slowly dropped to my side. Except, this time I stared at him – straight into his emerald eyes that were smoldering right back into mine. This time it wasn't me who had attacked, it was Edward.

A thousand and one questions filled my head, and as I tried to sift through them to find an appropriate response to Edward's intense gaze, the only one that could really come was _Huh?_ So I figured I'd wait a second, shut my big mouth, for once, and let him talk. Or finish what he started. You know, whichever.

Things were about to get awkward, because Edward still hadn't said anything. I pulled away slightly, and his arm dropped from my waist without a sound. He didn't look angry, repulsed, disgusted, or shocked. He was simply staring. It was unnerving.

"Way to go Edward, now you got me gross to!" I laughed, backing away some more with a grin on my face. Did that really just come out of my mouth? I kind of have a problem with being too serious, in case you're curious. And yes, I just got kissed by Edward Cullen and told him he'd 'got me gross'. What the _hell _was wrong with me?

"Yeah, yeah, I got you the first time – I need a shower. Let's go home," he laughed easily, his eyes brightening. We started toward the car again, making simple banter. It was usual, totally predictable, and easy. Neither of us spoke a word of our two, count 'em, two kisses.

We did our normal game day routine, got ready for bed with laughter and jokes, and crawled into bed without any awkwardness. Without any mention of anything that had occurred between us in the past twenty-four hours. Not even my lonely bed last night. Not even how we'd kissed our best friends. How we'd kissed each other.

I repeat: _Huh??_


	4. Weak

**You Belong With Me**

**By: emerald(e)grl**

**Chapter Four : Weak**

A week went by with the addition to six more kisses. Each one better than the last. And every new kiss added more questions and more avoidance. Well, not the kind of avoidance where Edward didn't show up to bed (I'm not sure I could handle that again), but the avoidance of talking about the kiss. Excuse me, kisses.

So far, we'd kissed on his patio, under the bleachers, in his car, in my car, in E hall, in my kitchen, and in his living room. Never horizontal and never in public. Of course, because then we might actually have to talk about it.

I'm not quite sure what stopped him from broaching the subject, especially after the first one, when he'd tried to talk about it, but I could only call myself a coward as an excuse. Besides, what was so wrong with kissing? People kissed all the time without having any significant meaning to it? Didn't they?

It's like we've become bi-polar or something. There was normal best friend behavior, where we teased and fought and did everything we'd been doing for the last ten years. And then there was kissing behavior, where suddenly Edward would decide it was time to kiss without any questions.

I wasn't quite sure where one began and the other ended, so I let him decide when it was time to switch from one mode to the other. It was weird, to say the least. I always waited for a few moments after one of our kissing modes to let him have the opportunity to talk about it, but he had become just as good as deflecting as I had.

I think it was kind of surprising that no one noticed the difference. And I mean, I guess it would be hard when even I was having trouble keeping up with this new progress, but seriously, not even Alice seemed to know what was going on when Edward and I were alone. I think I liked that she didn't know. Don't ask me why.

And really, when I thought about it, like I am now, everything was kind of working out perfectly for me. I got best friend Edward where nothing had changed and then I got kissing Edward where there was no talking only experiencing.

I wondered how far this would take me. So far he'd only put his hand under my shirt from the back. The thought alone made me dizzy; his touch still sent fire along me spine, especially so now that he was actually touching my spine. I'd yet to touch his bare skin yet.

Suddenly, right in the backseat of Edward's car, I decided tonight would be the night I would feel Edward's chest. Or maybe his back. Shoulder blades are sexy as hell, and I'm sure Edward's wouldn't be any different. Besides, isn't it my turn to get to decide when kissing mode starts? Exactly, it is.

"Bella, are you even listening?" Jacob's voice was near my ear, sounding annoyed. We were currently in the backseat of Edward's Volvo, and in my need to tune out Tanya's incessant chatter from the front seat, I'd also tuned out Jacob. "You daydream all the time."

I shrugged lightly until I noticed Edward's smirk directed at me in the rearview mirror. Wait; was that best friend Edward or kissing Edward? I really should get nametags.

"Sorry, Jacob," I finally apologized, trying to convey I was, even though I really wasn't. Neither of us wanted to be here. Movie night used to be something I looked forward to, back before Edward found Tanya. It used to be the whole gang: Emmett, Rosalie, Alice, Jasper, Edward, and me. It was kind of a triple-date sort of thing, except Edward and I technically weren't a couple.

When Tanya joined our little movie night, it had pushed me to seventh wheel status, but the group wouldn't let me just not go. Hence, my father's best friend's kid has become my go-to date. Jacob wasn't all bad I guess, at least he never tried anything because of his pining for this girl named Leah who kicked him in the balls two years ago when she moved here. He's been in love ever since. Yeah, I don't get it either.

"What can you be thinking about all the time anyways?" Maybe that I'd like to shove you out of the moving car. Okay, okay, I don't mean that. This whole forced movie date night was putting a strain on Jacob and mine's friendship. I'd still pick him over Mike and the rest of the goobers at my school though, so I really should try and be nicer.

"Lots of things, sorry," I couldn't help apologizing again, but then that bright grin was back on Jacob's face and I instantly felt better. It was weird the way that happened and yet… and yet it wasn't the crooked smile I loved so much. Nothing would ever compare to the way Edward's smile made me feel. Man, this is so not a good way to start the night.

"Hey, Edward, are we there yet?" Jacob asked, taking a glance out into the dark night whizzing by. Of course, there wasn't a movie theater in Forks, which meant we had to drive all the way to Port Angeles to see a new flick. Edward made some kind of sound in agreement, but I couldn't really be too focused on his response, because now I also was taking a glance out my window.

"Edward, slow down!" He always drove like a maniac (even in his dad car of a Volvo), but it was always worse on the mostly empty road to Port Angeles. As you can probably tell, this was routine for the two of us. Sometimes I feel like he only speeds up because he knew I'd yell at him for it – he's funny like that. Hardy har.

Sure enough, there he was laughing. "Bella, I'm only ten over and there hasn't been a car for a while now." I crossed my arms and sat back in my seat, knowing me arguing with him was only going to make him laugh harder. And hello- _only_ ten over? I am the Chief of Police's daughter.

"I like it fast," Oh great, now Tanya was all but purring, putting her claws all over Edward's arm. As if I didn't have enough of a reason already to throw up, let's add Tanya's 'demure' ways. Just as I was starting to think Edward's speeding might be a good idea (the faster we get there, the better), I felt the car slow down slightly.

I looked sullenly towards the rearview mirror to see Edward shooting me that perfectly imperfect crooked smile. I rolled my eyes at him, but that did nothing to lessen the lightness in his emerald eyes. Stupid, striking, gorgeous eyes.

"Did I tell you that I got Leah to ride with me on my motorcycle, Bella?" Jacob asked suddenly, his eyes excited as his train of thought went back to Leah. That stupid motorcycle was the reason Jacob and I had to carpool with Edward and Tanya. My truck couldn't make the trip (according to Charlie and Edward) and I wasn't allowed on Jacob's bike (according to Charlie and Edward). They certainly were a pair, those two.

It has got to be no surprise when I tell you I was extremely grateful when we reached the movie theater. Edward had parked and was rushing to both Tanya and my door, but I threw mine open before he could do his gentlemanly routine. He hated when I tried to spoil his fun. I consider it payback for his behavior behind the wheel.

Besides, as I climbed out of the car I remembered my little underwear predicament. It seems sometime this morning while I had been showering either Rosalie or Alice had replaced my underwear drawer entirely with lacy thongs. Probably the little pixie, seeing as she can get into my room without question from Charlie. My two best girl friends called it 'helping', I called it a pain in my ass.

Literally right now, considering it felt like I needed to pick a wedgie. And although lace may be sexy or whatever, it was so not comfortable – kind of scratchy actually.

"You okay there, Bells?" Jacob was coming up behind me, as all of our group made our way to the entrance to buy tickets. I hastily wiped my frown from my face, definitely not wanting to get into a panty discussion with any of the members in our happy little foursome.

"Sure, sure," I seriously was going to murder Alice. This was almost as bad as the time as Rosalie replaced all my shoes with heels – have I mentioned I have trouble navigating myself safely over flat surfaces?

"The other four have already gone in and saved us seats; we're running kind of late," Edward said as we stood in line. I looked at Tanya seeing if she was going to say anything, but she only smiled lazily up at Edward and squeezed his arm. It was her fault we were late, we waited for freaking ever for her to come out. It seemed she couldn't find her favorite lip gloss – what a tragedy.

Edward paid for his and Tanya's, but Jacob and I had decided a while ago we would each pay for our own ticket. I hated when people bought me things anyways. It was a fast walk to the theater door, then to our number 13 (was that supposed to be some kind of sign?), and then Edward was ushering us in as he held open the door.

"I'll get you some of those Mike & Ike things you like, babe," Edward said Tanya, and she was positively beaming as she disappeared into the dark. First of all, that was the worst candy in the world. And second of all, _babe_, really? I hated the kind of guys who called the girlfriend babe. Well, except Emmett, who kind of made even pig-like things endearing and –

Edward's hand grabbed my arm, effectively stopping my thoughts and my following of Jacob into the movie. He pulled me away from the door without a word, making me only have time to try and follow without tripping over my own feet.

"That Josh boy keeps looking down your shirt!" Edward hissed at me when we were away from the crowds. I looked down at V of my shirt, only to see that I kind of was bearing more than usual. Well, which is kind of an easy feat considering I usually only bare my neck. But I liked this shirt, it was my favorite color of blue and was silky.

I looked back up at Edward only to see he also had looked down when I had. My face flushed as Edward tried to cover his smile and stay angry. "Edward, you know his name is Jacob, this is like the fifth time he has come to movie night; and you know he is absolutely in love with Leah from La Push High."

"Just because he likes some other girl, does not mean he is blind, Bella! I am telling you, he keeps checking out your cleavage!" I couldn't much be bothered by Jacob's supposed gaze, because I was trying not to feel flattered over Edward's sort-of compliment. The first part of his statement – not the last sentence.

"It's whatever, Edward," I shrugged, and I think that might not have been the best idea because Edward looked indecisive between staring back down at the V of my ruffled shirt and yelling at me some more. I suddenly tried not to giggle at my best friend, he seemed to be constantly trying to pick between being a boy and being protective.

"Isabella," I think he was going with yelling at me some more, because his voice came out stern, but then his eyes darkened. Oh, hell yes, hello kissing Edward! Sure enough, Edward pulled me by the same arm he still had his hand on towards him, and his other hand went to cradle the back of my head so my lips were tilted toward his.

I melted into him, liking the urgency of his kiss. It was over far too soon, and I couldn't help but pout. His responding chuckle was low and sexy, and then he tugged lightly on my ear as he disappeared toward he concession stands.

I blew out the breath I didn't know I had been holding and headed back into the movie, this time without a hand to halt me. Yes, I think it is definitely time for me to start becoming the instigator of this little arrangement, it is so not fair that Edward has all the power.

"Hey Bella, you look guilty as sin, where were you?" Alice whispered to me as I took my place between her and Jacob. She was giving me a sly look, and wiggling her eyebrows. At least she was nice enough not to talk aloud, usually she liked to yell these type of things out.

"Bathroom," I am an awful liar, please protect me dark theater. Alice only raised her eyebrows and smirked at me. Before she could open her mouth again, I decided I would go a different route. "And by the way, thanks for the updates to my underwear stash, I love having lace up my ass."

Alice laughed out loud, grinning mischievously. Thank god, situation effectively deterred. "Don't worry, I was nice this time and didn't throw them out, I'll give them back tomorrow. I just thought you might appreciate looking sexy in your undergarments for once. And if not you, then at least my brother will appreciate them."

"Alice!" My mouth dropped open, as if Edward would be getting to see me in this stupid contraption. "Your brother's _girlfriend _is only five people down the aisle!" Alice only gave me a look as if to say 'Yes, and your point is?'. "Besides I was going to change in the bathroom tonight."

Alice knew about the whole sleeping situation between Edward and I, she knew Edward and I had been close for a long time. "Well, your loss then I guess. You can ask Rosalie if you want, but it's common knowledge no one can resist a hot girl in sexy lingerie." She suddenly gave me a look. "Bella, please tell me your bra matches your thong."

I blushed and couldn't help but to peek over at Jacob to make sure he hadn't heard a word of our conversation. Nope, he was glued to the big screen watching the previews. "Actually yes," I left it at that as I turned to watch the previews in irritated silence.

The good thing about going to a movie is you're not obligated to talk. In fact, it's kind of required that you _don't_ talk. Watching a movie in the theater was easy. Especially when you had your friend on one side, giving you the armrest as she leaned toward her boyfriend, and an off-limits guy on the other side.

It was two simple hours of entertainment where awkward talk didn't ruin the night, where you try desperately to sound witty and interesting, where you have to listen to a bunch of babble about hobbies that you had to pretend to be engrossed in as much as the speaker was. Movie night might suck, but movies were okay.

This one was a Christmas movie, long story short, a couple having to spend the holidays with their family members. Typical, but funny enough to make me laugh. Aside from the first few minutes, there wasn't any awkward scenes where I felt the need to keep my gaze trained absolutely forward. Watching sex scenes next to a boy I could barely focus on was not my cup of tea.

Go figure.

As the credits rolled and the lights came on, I looked over to see Jacob sleeping, his head thrown completely back. I laughed as I shook his shoulder, thinking to myself that I was glad he didn't snore. He blinked sleepily at me as the rest of our group laughed momentarily at him, and then we were on our way.

Rosalie and Emmett disappeared fast, and I knew this wasn't because they were rude or anything, but simply because they were trying to save alone time before Rosalie's curfew stole it. Next to Charlie, Rosalie's dad seems like a Nazi.

I didn't want to suffer any more embarrassment from Alice and her crude comments, so I pulled Jacob along, hinting to the group that it was time to go without the chat. Alice smirked at me, instantly understanding my need to escape. "Well, bye Bella Bells! Tell me tomorrow how that new thong works out for you!"

Of course she yelled it. Of course everyone within the ten-foot radius snapped their curious attention to me. Of course Alice merrily laughed the whole way to Jasper's car. Of course Tanya shot me a look of disdain. Of course Jacob looked instantly guilty as he felt he had looked at my ass for too long (as if he could see it, the idiot). Of course Edward's twisted mouth was sexy and mortifying all at once.

I think my glare sufficiently told the remaining three of our little pow wow gang not a word of my undergarment choice was to be made. We were back in the car and on the road in no time at all, and Tanya had started running her mouth off again, probably trying to get her robbed spotlight back.

The ride seemed to be much faster going home so we arrived at Jacob's house a little too soon for my liking. Especially since now this meant I'd have to sit backseat to watch the Edward and Tanya romance unfold before me. Jacob kissed me on the cheek quickly and I couldn't be sure if this was because Leah could be lurking around any corner or if he had finally noticed Edward's rigid gaze.

And then there were three.

This majorly blew, in the words of Cher – the Clueless Cher, not the megastar Cher. I let my thoughts fill the quietness of the car and cover the endless prattle of Tanya. How you could have both I guess only she managed.

All of my friends were paired up, happy, and completely void of the need of me. I always felt like this after a night with all of us together, and there was nothing any of them could say to make me feel differently. I hated the pity I got from them when they didn't think I was looking, but I also couldn't hate them either of course.

I really was quite excited for all of them, it was just the Edward situation that spoiled things for me. If I hadn't been so absolutely in love with him, I'd just be slightly lonely when the night ended. But this made me lonely and a little heartbroken too. He'd picked Tanya, not me.

When my feelings for my best friend first started surfacing, I'd tried everything to push them away. To rationalize them into figments of the closeness of our friendship, to deny, deny, deny. That worked for about as long as a week. Then, it was a series of embarrassment, shame, and regret. I'd stupidly gone and fallen in love with my best friend.

It was like the stupidest joke in the book.

La Push whizzed by, and we headed towards Tanya's home, and their conversation broke through my thoughts. "Edward, why am I always taken home before Bella? Doesn't she live in the poorer part of Forks – not like where we live." Um, hello? Right here. And even though she's right, it doesn't mean she has to assume anything; you know what they say about assuming.

"Tanya, I tell you every time, Bella's dad likes to have a chat with me after I bring her home, and I don't want you to have to wait in the car for that." What Edward said is true, but it is more of a choice than a demand. Charlie loves talking to him, but Edward's not expected to come in and have a chat with him like he's making it sounds.

Then again, I guess this is a better answer than saying this route makes more sense because my house is actually the end of the line. Yes, probably a much better answer for your girlfriend.

"Well, will you at least walk me to my door?" Tanya asked with a pout, and I suddenly understood why that lip gloss she'd wasted time looking for was so important. It made her lips look awesome and even I couldn't be mad at Edward's weakness when he obliged. Okay, so maybe I was a little miffed.

Edward didn't say anything to me as he got out (opening Tanya's door in his custom manner), and I couldn't be sure if I liked or disliked that fact. What could he say that would make me feel better? It wasn't his fault I'd fallen for him. Actually, it kind of was, considering everything he had done and still does makes me feel this way.

I told myself not to watch, even as I could clearly see their figures on her lit up porch, but still I did. I watched as she put her hand on his chest, and as he pulled her in for a hug, and as her hand curled around the hair at the nape of his neck. I even watched as I knew their goodnight kiss was coming.

Except it didn't, because he'd turned at the last minute, chastely kissed her cheek, and hugged her again. I registered vaguely the sound of her front door slamming, but I had my thoughts preoccupied to figure out what this new development meant.

Edward had already buckled his seat belt, by the time I realized I was still in the backseat. I hastily switched seats, and focused on trying not to stare at Edward. "You totally should've gone for it, Edward, now you'll have to deal with her upset tomorrow." I didn't want to say that.

"Her dad was just inside," He said, and I really wished he hadn't said anything. I wished _I_ hadn't said anything. "Besides, I can deal with Tanya."

This was so not how I wanted to spend my time with Edward. I hated moping and feeling bad and making Edward feel bad in turn about my feeling bad. I should be a better best friend. Have I mentioned I hate movie night? "Edward," I really shouldn't. "How far have Tanya and you gotten?"

Out of my peripheral vision, I saw Edward glance at me, probably trying to gage my expression, but I was dutifully trying to keep the thing blank. Oh look, a tree passed the window. And another. And another. "Bella, I don't know if –"

"Edward, we promised," Now I was looking at him, and I was a little angrier than I had intended to be. I never wanted him to feel like he couldn't tell me something. No matter how small or how I felt about it, I wanted him to always be able to tell me. "Wouldn't you want to know if it were me?"

His face twisted into an expression I had trouble deciphering, before a sigh escaped him. "Yeah, I guess I would want to know." He glanced at me again, and I tried to look encouraging, though I'm not quite sure I managed it. "We've actually only made out, though she has offered to give me a blow job."

I bit my lip, slightly unsure how to proceed. "How does one go about… doing that when you haven't taken off any clothes?"

He stared at me for moment, before I backtracked and understood why he was looking at me so weirdly. "Oh dang, I mean offering – not actually doing. I meant how did she ask to give you a blow job?" My face was bright red as he laughed at me. If I waited a little longer, I wonder if he would've tried to describe how one gives head. Awwwkward.

"She just outright said, Edward, can I give you a blowjob now?" Oh my god! I didn't know whether to hide my laughter at her or feel awe at her obvious confidence. Edward seemed to realize my predicament, but picked the best option, and said nothing.

"Well, that was very… nice. And you said no?" That was hard to believe even from my perfect gentlemanly prude Edward. Also, this news made me feel slightly better that my sleeping next to him in bed every night was not the only time he'd turned a girl down.

"No, I said no _thank you_," Edward and I both laughed this time. "Seriously though, that was when I asked Tanya about her past relationships, and then we got into the whole discussion about her virginity, and something like that doesn't really put a guy in the mood, you know?"

"Well, I don't exactly know, but I do understand," I smirked at him easily, throwing open my door as soon as he was stopped in front of my house, just like he hated. "Race you to the door!" I of course ran as hard as I could before I realized Edward was taking his sweet time. He's such a jerk.

So I unlocked the front door and slammed it before he could even get to the porch, and laughed as I heard it open again on my way up the stairs. "Bella," I heard his voice yell as he tried to sound like he was warning me. Hah. He reached my room shortly, before he said quieter. "Where's Charlie?"

"Fishing weekend," I said nonchalantly, sticking my tongue at him. Being so close with Edward for so long, made us often revert back to our childlike selves. At least, that's my excuse. His excuse is that he's male. "But it's late, so be quiet; I want to go to sleep,"

I needed to change without Edward's notice. And was I supposed to go commando to bed, because there was no way I was getting shut eye with something up my butt. You know, that sounds a little… nevermind.

Edward shrugged and quickly shed his pants as he worked at the buttons of his shirt. I started edging toward the door and knew I'd made a mistake, Edward was now paused in his motions to stare at me. "I'm just, um, going to change in the bathroom." You might be asking why I didn't lie and say something simple like I needed to pee, but then I would have to remind you I'm a terrible liar.

He looked puzzled for a minute, before his eyes brightened and his lips twisted into that rakish smirk of his. "Alice wasn't joking about that thong, was she?" He was entirely too smart for his own good. Or, technically, too smart for my own good.

"Yeah, no," I tried to escape my room again at that, but Edward was next to me in a flash, and holding the door closed.

"Let's see it then," Psh, yeah right, buddy. "Come on, Bella, I've never seen you in a thong." Yes, for good reason, Edward; because a smart girl wouldn't wear something that gave you a constant wedgie. "If you show me, I'll show you my tattoo,"

"I still think you're lying about that thing," I said shakily, because the way Edward was looking at me was the exact same way kissing Edward looked at me. Obviously he wasn't going to let me escape to the bathroom and changed like I had hoped. "Fine, but you better have that apple tattoo you keep saying you have."

I shed my jeans before I could think about it for too long, and stood in front of Edward in my lacy crimson and black thong and my blue silk shirt. I crossed my arms to try and give off the resemblance of our normal easy banter. Instead of melting to the floor in embarrassment.

"Damn, Bella," his voice had gotten lower, huskier, and it was twisting my insides. I think I might faint. No wait, that's just all the blood rushing to my head, or more precisely, my face. "Okay, look," And then my eyes were glued to him as he moved aside one of the flaps of his unbuttoned shirt with one hand and started to pull down his boxers from his pelvic bone with the other.

As soon as his hand couldn't really go any lower without revealing _more_ to me, his hand stilled, and I stared at the expanse of flesh he'd exposed. The lightly tanned, toned, lovely, sinfully delicious flesh. Oh, what the fuck, the _bare_ flesh. "Edward, I knew you were lying!"

His boxers snapped back into place and he laughed at my red face. "You really thought I would get a tattoo of an apple, Bella?" Oh, laugh it up. Laugh. It. Up.

"You are a bastard, Edward." I said, not meaning it, but still embarrassed to have been tricked, and flushed at the sight of scantily-clothed skin.

"Oh, Bella, I love it when you talk dirty," he laughed some more at that, even as he clearly could see my eye roll. Besides, he was given me whiplash with his constant shifting between kissing and best friend Edward. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry; here, let me help you,"

Then his hand reached out and untied the bow just below the V of my shirt. Ack! "I wasn't going to untie that! I can never tie them back as perfectly as they come!" Before really thinking about it, I tackled him to the ground.

And then I was straddling him in a lacy thong and a shirt that was now so indecent you could clearly see my black bra peeking through over a bare-chested Edward in his boxers. My anger and his amusement were nowhere to be found when I kissed him and he responded eagerly. And yes, _I_ kissed him!

That was about all the control I could claim though, because then Edward was rolling us over so that I was on top of him and his delicious weight was pressing into me. As well as a certain other thing. Oh my god, I had this kind of effect on Edward?

It was too much and not enough, as most things seemed to be when Edward was concerned.

It wasn't so much me remembering my earlier vow, but pure desire that led my hands down from his neck to over his chest and around to his shoulder blades. His shirt was still on by the arms, and I feel of it against the back of my hands. But not nearly as much as I liked the feel of Edward under my palms.

I had definitely made the right choice – shoulder blades are sexy as hell. That thought kind of got fuzzy as I felt Edward's hand on the outside of my thigh, kneading the flesh in a way that made my knee involuntarily bend and allow him to settle more easily into me.

Not to mention our mouths were working so perfectly together it was like they had minds of their own. Like they belonged together or something. And really, who was I to separate them? Okay, I might be getting kind of delusional.

I just felt so weak. And I liked it. And that made me feel even more weak, because who liked feeling weak? It was this disreputable cycle that couldn't be altered. And I was perfectly content with that. Me; stubborn, headstrong, adamant, opinionated Bella.

I pushed him away not too long later, knowing since I'd been responsible for starting it, it was my responsibility to stop it also. It was a damn shame, but it had to be done. We were on the floor, for Christ's sake. And I didn't really know all the rules for this little… thing, anyways.

We finished changing (I'd gone to the bathroom and now was going commando in my shorts) and as I came back into the room, Edward lightly poked my ass. I glared at him as he said, "You know, you really should tone up that thing if you're going to be wearing more thongs."

"Yeah, yeah, you're the one that always gets flabby after football season ends." Oh, and note-to-self: buy nametags.

**Author's Note -** I just want to say the reviews I've gotten have been great and I really do appreciate the support! Thanks a bunch!


	5. Big World

**You Belong With Me**

**By: emerald(e)grl**

**Chapter Five : Big World**

I tried to pay attention; really, I did. But now, my calculus teacher was drawing some kind of crazy diagram of some kind of crazy shape and my attention couldn't decide to focus on what she was drawing or what she was saying. And, wait a minute, I'm supposed to find the volume of _that_?

So, of course, it wasn't long before I was absentmindedly copying the notes, but really focusing on the window placed oh-so-conveniently next to me. There was this big oak tree right next to the window that especially caught my window. It looked exactly like the tree I'd pushed Edward out of in the fifth grade.

Don't ask me why I was thinking about this particular memory of us. I remember it pretty clearly, considering it was such a normal day otherwise. It was during our winter break, and Edward had invited me on a hike with his family. I tried to get out of it (definitely not many flat surfaces out in the wilderness), but Edward wasn't take no for an answer.

I remember being an outright brat about the whole situation. I mean, I would've called myself a bitch if I'd acted the same way now, for instance, but since I was little I'll settle for brat. Edward's expression clearly showed he had no quells against thinking I was a bitch. He might've even called me one too, if he didn't think Esme would've heard.

"How come Alice didn't have to come?" I asked with a frown, picking my way over roots and leaves. I could tell my pace was setting the family back; no matter how hard Carlisle and Esme tried to slow down, they still managed to be several yards ahead of us. It was a wonder Edward even stayed with me with the dirty looks he kept shooting me.

And no, not dirty, like how I wish he would look at me now. I mean, dirty as in stank-face.

"She wanted to hang out with Jasper and Rosalie," Edward said shortly, crossing his little arms as he leaned against a tree with a sigh, now that my snail-like pace had officially moved to stop sign status. I moved toward him slightly, upset that Alice didn't have to be put through this torture.

Of course, I tripped from this small movement, sending me sprawling to the ground. Hands and knees scratched and chaffing in the cold. As Edward came over to me, looking finally like he didn't want to kick me in the face, I wanted to cry.

He was just so _good _at everything. Especially good at the things I particularly sucked at. Hiking, for example. Hell, _walking_ for example. It wasn't fair that he was so extremely perfect.

"Bella, how about instead of going that way," he pointed off in the direction of his parents, who seemed to remain just in sight, "we go that way." Now he was pointing up the tree. Um, yeah, because I'm so awesome at tree climbing.

"No, I can't," I said with a frown, bending to dust my knees off.

"I Can't is your middle name, Isabella Swan," Edward snapped at me, grabbing my arm and hulling me over to the large oak tree. I glared at him as best as I could, considering my nose kind of stung at his comment. "Now, come on, I promise you'll like it when we get up there."

So I simply stared at him a little snottily, watching him jump with ease to the first branch, and pull himself up onto it. Maybe 'I Can't' is my middle name, because that was the only thought running through my head at that point. I kicked the tree and instantly regretted it as I felt a small pain shoot up my foot.

Edward had managed to move over to a taller branch, and reached down to me, motioning for me to follow him up. I thought about sticking my tongue out and continuing on the way his parents had gone, but then his eyes were basically in my face. Swirling emerald orbs that could convince me to do anything. He was dangerous even back then.

"Give me your hand, and when I start to pull, use your feet against the side of the tree to try and climb up." It seemed so simple when he put it that way. I did has he asked, and with much struggle and effort from both parties I made it to the branch next to him. "Jeez, you are really heavy."

"What?" I asked offended, quickly resorting to give him a wet willy. His face showed complete disgust, and so all I could do was grin at him.

It took us a long time (it seemed anyways) to make it further up. We were just barely civil to each other, with my annoyance at how easy he seemed to make everything and his annoyance at how hard I had to make everything. When Edward felt we couldn't go any further up, he jumped gracefully onto the same branch as I was on, and helped me sit carefully.

"See, isn't is worth it?" he asked with a whisper into my ear, as my big eyes took in the view. It was absolutely magnificent, and I wished I had a camera or something so I could remember it forever. When I'd told as much to Edward, he gave me that crooked smile of his and said, "I won't let you forget, Bella."

We sat there for a while, so long that when I looked down I noticed Esme and Carlisle must've come back for us, and were now down at the bottom of the tree. I didn't tell Edward though, because then we would have to go down, and that was the last thing I wanted to do.

We were still a little irritated with each other, but we pushed it aside briefly as we sat on that branch, me closest to the trunk, and him with his legs swinging easily. It wasn't like we talked about stuff we normally talked about, in fact our chatter still involved Pokemon vs. Digimon and whatnot, but it was still special.

"We should go now," Edward said suddenly, just as the sun started to set. Instantly, my mood was sour again, and I scowled at him. He only scowled right back, and started to make his way down, looking back at me expectantly when he'd realized I hadn't moved. "Why are you being such a whiny baby?"

"I am not being a whiny baby!" I tried to sound sophisticatedly appalled, so of course it came out sounded exactly as a whiny baby would.

"Are too!"

"Are not!"

It went like that for a while, until I said with a triumphant smile. "Are not times infinity! You big butthead!" Now I was on the branch just above him, and I used my added height to tower over him. He glared at me the hardest I'd ever seen him glare, and I almost took back my childish comment.

"If I'm a butthead, then you're a poopface!" I shouted, shoving him lightly as I landed on the same branch he had been. I say had because now he was falling, having lost his balance with the shove and tree movement of his branch.

I screamed the instant I saw his surprised eyes blink back at me. I screamed his name over and over as I all but jumped after him, precariously making my way down the tree with an urgency I didn't know I processed. It didn't take me long to get further down and realize Edward was in Carlisle's arms without a scratch on him. I was sobbing hard as I jumped from the last branch right on top of him and into Carlisle's arms as well.

Except Carlisle really couldn't hold us both like that, and so I ended up making me and Edward topple to the floor, me blubbering all over him. I hugged him tightly as I repeated "I'm sorry" nonstop.

"It's okay, my dad caught me," he said weakly, looking uncomfortable under my sobbing mess, and as if he wasn't quite sure what to do. Then I felt Esme hugging me and rubbing my back – which, of course, only made me cry harder.

I heard Edward mumble something like, "But let's not climb trees any more, alright?"

"No, no, never, I-I'm so sorry," I shook my head from side to side in the way only little girls can do, and Edward awkwardly patted my shoulder. My tears quieted for a minute, before I finally thought about what I had agreed to. Never see that sight ever again with Edward? I started to cry some more before I knew what to do.

"Honey, it's alright, Edward's alright." Esme's motherly voice soothed in my ear, and I tried to control my breathing.

"Jeez, stop crying already," Edward said, looking disgruntled, "Your scream was loud enough to alert the whole forest, so dad had plenty of time to catch me." I nodded, hearing him, but still, the tears were hard to stop now that they were coming. "Jeez, this is really what I'd call a whiny baby."

Well, that certainly stopped my tears. "I wish your dad hadn't caught you, you butthead!" Esme figured it was now time to pull away, as if she'd sensed the oncoming fight. In the back of my child's mind, I wondered if she was going to tell my mom what I'd called Edward.

"See, there, that's better," Edward grinned at my anger, and I thought about trying to hurt him again, but I ended up just hugging him again. "Aw, come on, not this again, Bella!" With a giggle, I decided to plant a big fat kiss against his cheek.

When I reared back slightly to look at his face, I saw that it was even more disgusted now than it had been from the wet willy. I planted another one on his other cheek as he started trying to shake me off, so I laughed loudly, right in his ear.

Thinking on it now, it's a wonder Edward's parents let us stay friends. On my first trip with them I'm a total brat, push their only son out of a very tall tree, and end up kissing him for several minutes before he could get away.

"So now that you understand this equation, you just need to plug in the proper numbers and be sure to integrate properly." My teacher's voice reached my eyes only a few seconds before the bell did. Oh damn, looks like I'll be failing the next Calculus test. All well, at least this time I didn't fall asleep.

After I gathered up my bag and made it out the door, I noticed Edward waiting right outside for me. I smiled at him, and he flashed his own small smile back at me. Hmm, something must be bothering him. "What's up, Edward?"

"What? Nothing," Edward gave me a puzzled look, and I could only assume he hadn't realized his thoughts had transferred to his face. I lifted up my eyebrows at him, and he looked disappointed that I'd caught him. Hah, that's what you get, mind reader. "Later, not here,"

I shrugged and opened my locker up that we had now reached. "You know what I was thinking about in Calculus? Do remember that big tree in those woods?" I had no idea where the woods were, only that every year or so we'd go back to them and search for that tree. He always joked that his dad wasn't going to be there to catch him this time.

"The one where you almost murdered me, you mean?" He seemed to think on it for moment, his mouth curving into a small smirk. I rolled my eyes at him and slammed my locker shut. "You know, Carlisle told me he wrote our initials in it."

"Really?" I turned to look at him to see if he was trying to trick me. He was always trying to trick me into the most ridiculous notions. Like that apple tree, but let's not go there. Well, not in the middle of a hallway at Forks High, maybe later. Correction, definitely later.

"Yep," Edward held open the door to the parking lot for me, and I debated for a minute if I should refuse to go through, but decided to be nice and went through with only a quick sticking of my tongue out at him. "He told me like a year ago that Esme made him do it, right before we left."

I decided not to say anything, because I knew if anything came out it would sound too much like I was madly in love with him. How perfect was that? Our initials on our tree? See, we did belong together. Edward's parents had known it before I'd even thought about boys that way.

"Well, anyways, I was going to tell you that you should come over and hang out tonight," he said, so I agreed casually.

I had totally forgotten that now football season was over, it meant more free time for Edward. Good. Oh, and I wonder if hang out is code for make out. Because in that case, great.

He dropped me off at my crap of a truck, and I took off towards home first, wanting to make Charlie a dinner before I left. I made it home, parking right next to his cruiser, surprised that he was even home.

"Dad?"

"In here, Bells," he called from the living room, smiling at me as I made it to his side. "I decided to come home because work was slow, but I'm still on call." He explained to my obviously curious expression, and I shrugged and started to the kitchen. "Hey, wait a minute, will you? I want to talk to you."

Oh god. This could not be good. Charlie never wanted to talk, so him wanting to now could only be a bad thing. The last time he wanted to talk, he had wanted to know if Renee had put me on birth control before she left. Awkward because we both hated mentioning her leaving. And double awkward because dads should not talk to their daughters about things like sex.

Well, maybe some dads pulled off; but Charlie certainly wasn't one of them. Our conversations were always so stilted because we were both terrible communicators. It was kind of sad in a way that it was easier for me to talk to Edward than my father, but I guess it made sense too.

"Something Edward said to me last night has kind of been bugging me," Charlie started off, chewing the side of his mouth as the taste of his blood would've been more enjoyable than the words coming out of his mouth.

I waited for more, unsure of what Edward had said, and when they'd had a chance to talk. Last night had been a Tuesday, so maybe before he'd come up to study, and then some, he'd stopped to talk to my dad.

"Has something happened between you two? Are ya'll, going out now?" He asked curiously, and I could tell by the frown on his face he wasn't sure if this outcome was agreeable or not. I chewed on my bottom lip, wondering what Edward had said, and how I could get through this without lying.

"No, we're not going out." That's true, and I can just avoid the first question. Charlie wouldn't repeat himself, he wasn't the type to badger. Especially not after Renee had said that was one of the reasons she felt she had to leave – his constant nagging. I think I would've been just as nagging if I'd been married to someone who acted half her age. But I'm not getting into that.

"Well, I mean…" He seemed really uncomfortable, and I was dying to ask what had been said between the two, but knowing I would never. I didn't have the guts, and wasn't sure if Charlie would tell me anyway. "Nothing's different with your best friend?"

Hmm, well, no, technically, nothing was different with _best friend_ Edward. "Nope, same as always." While he could tell I wasn't lying, he seemed to be able to tell he was getting close to the matter.

"Okay, I believe you," he finally sighed, having gotten his question answered. He must feel safe that because nothing had changed with best friend Edward, that there couldn't be anything too serious going on. Then again, Charlie had never met kissing Edward. But, I suppose that's a good thing.

"Okay, dad," I laughed lightly at him, and could see his instant face of gratitude at my attempt to relieve some of the tension. "I'm going to make you a dinner and then head over to Edward's." I told him as I made my way to the kitchen again, but was halted once more.

"Oh, don't worry about that, Bella; I'll just grab some pizza," he said, half his attention back on the un-muted television. He glanced over at me to see my look. "No, seriously, you go ahead over to Edward's, I don't want you to trouble over a dinner you're not even going to eat."

"It's no trouble," I said easily, meaning it. I liked cooking, it was one of the rare things I was good at. I briefly wondered if Edward was a good cook – he'd never made anything in his life. Usually though, the things I was good at he was just as good at. While his talents worked transversely to my faults, the same thing didn't work when we switched the two around. He was just naturally good at _everything_.

Stupid, perfect, lovely man.

"No, Bella, go." He commanded gently, shooting me another look, this time a stern one.

I almost laughed. Charlie was rarely stern; well, to me, anyways, sometimes he liked to mess with Edward. "Come on, Bells, you'll make me feel bad if you have to make a whole dinner instead going over to the Cullen's now."

"Alright, alright," I finally agreed, secretly glad to see more of Edward. "I can tell you want to get rid of me, so I'll leave." I retreated to my room to put down my backpack, and then headed out down the stairs, glancing over at Charlie again. "You don't happen to be meeting Sue do you?"

Charlie blushed just about as bright as I do, and I laughed, liking that my dad had a little crush. Sue was Leah's mom, and when he hung out down in La Push, Charlie often came home with anecdotes about how great Sue was. It was good to see him moving on from the wreck my dearest mother had left him.

"Bella, you may go now," Charlie stated, turning the television up. Nothing could distract me from his bright red ears though. I laughed all the way out the door, and jumped into my truck still smiling. After starting my engine, it wasn't too long before the Cullen house came into view.

I pulled around to the back before their driveway could come into view, parking in my usual spot just outside their many-doored garage. Edward started making me park out back when he'd realized if a person parked in the front, they then had to walk about a gazillion feet just to get to the front door.

From here, the back door was about ten. Much better for my lazy self. Besides, I needed to save my energy to walk up two staircases all the way to the third floor. I almost collapsed every time I followed behind Edward's effortless stair climb. It was infuriating, because he would often taunt me as we climbed to his room.

And speaking of conserving energy, maybe I'd need a little more than usual with kissing Edward.

On this certain matter, I was unsure of our next step. I kept thinking about taking my shirt off and letting him throw my bra off along with it, but couldn't help thinking of the repercussions this event might cause. Letting him see my boobs was something that was going to have to take a lot of courage from me, because of my lack thereof, and my nervousness at where that left our friendship.

Second base both excited and doomed me. But during our last make out session, I'd decided I was going to try and stop worrying about the whole thing, just let things happen as they did. Let the chips fall where they may, as the saying goes.

Besides, I was desperately curious to see if Edward's hands on my breasts worked better than my own, because really I just didn't see the point when I'd fondled them. Maybe I was doing it wrong, who knows. But I'm willing to bet Edward's hands would be quite nice, and I was positive he would know how to do it well. He was good at everything, after all.

I was just about to open his back door. It was always unlocked because of where they lived and how often they expected me, when I heard voices from inside. One clearly Edward, the other Tanya. I froze, unsure of what to do.

So, like the great person I was, I eavesdropped.

"Edward, I got into CSU and I'm pretty sure I'm going there," Tanya's voice said, and for some reason it wasn't that usual girly voice she used. I wondered what they were doing in the kitchen, because that was the room that connected to the backdoor. "You're still going to the University of Seattle, right?"

"Most likely," Edward's voice murmured, and I paused at his choice of words. Last time I had checked, it had been a definite yes. "I just got a letter of acceptance from U of Chicago, so I guess I might be thinking about that. You're really going to go out to California to try and make it big?"

"I've got to try, Edward." I wished I could see their facial expressions. And it was weird how normal she seemed from the other side of the door. It made me uncomfortable for a reason I didn't understand. "I want to be an actress, but my mom wants me to go to college too. This way I can do both – so I have to go."

It was silent for a moment, and I had stopped breathing so the sound didn't disrupt the conversation from reaching my ears. "Well, that's great then, Tanya." His voice was comforting, and I had to imagine that they were hugging now. I really hoped he wasn't' kissing her, so it was relief when I heard his voice again. "I guess that means we're not going to the same college."

"I guess not," he agreed, and I tried to determine if he sounded upset about that. This whole eavesdropping thing was killing me, it was like getting half the info, what with no visual.

"Listen, Edward, I like you a lot. I mean, a whole lot." Did she actually sound shy? Tanya Denali, head cheerleader, got the school in her pocket and Edward on her arm, sounded shy. "But let's make an agreement now that we will leave things on a good note as we head off our separate ways. I'm pretty sure a relationship wouldn't work with the distance, but I want to keep this going until graduation, you know? I do want to be with you."

Oh god, oh god. Edward could do it now, he could tell Tanya no, that he thought it was best if they broke up now. He could choose to be with me. Oh god, oh god. Tanya would be crushed, but I could have him. I could have my Edward.

Without realizing it, my hand had reached for the doorknob, and I swung open the door, alerting Edward and Tanya of my presence. Oh, shit. What the fuck is wrong with me??! Am I starting to actually starting to go insane? Now I'll never know Edward's answer. And well, if this isn't awkward, they were both staring at me as if I'd popped out of a cave.

Hey, I was invited here. I deserved to be here just as much as anyone else. I pushed my thoughts aside, and smiled at both of them. Oh great, now I'm being friendly to the enemy.

"Oh, well, hello, Bella." Tanya all but sneered at me.

A hah! There she was! The she-devil that had Edward under her claws, sticking her stupid nose up at me. There was the Tanya we all knew and loved – okay, well, knew and hated. "I didn't know Edward had invited you over to play."

As if we were still ten. I tried my best not to glare at her. Getting in a fight with Edward's girlfriend did not seem like a good idea. Besides, I was kind of upset with him for not telling me about U of C. Maybe I should karate chop them both in the face. And yes, I did say karate chop.

"Um, yeah."

I was quite witty when Tanya was around, wasn't I? Eh, I guess it's not my fault, I'm a strictly non-confrontational character. Plus, I tended to be kind of shy when I wasn't around my friends. And then, of course, there was the whole fact that I hated her guts. But, hey, this is me not being ten.

"I'll walk you to the door," Edward mumbled, leading Tanya with his hand on her back towards the front door.

I decided not to follow. I'd done enough eavesdropping for one night and I wasn't sure I could handle watching Edward kiss her goodnight. So as they left me, I looked around the kitchen, seeing that they'd been in here because Edward had been trying to steal some of Esme's freshly baked goods.

Ah, that woman was a saint. I grabbed a cookie, even though I knew I wasn't supposed to. Esme always said we should wait until they were cooled and on a plate for some reason. To me, a cookie is a cookie. And right now, I could really use a cookie.

"Hey, sorry about that, Tanya had something she needed to talk to me about," Edward came back in just as my mouth was full of cookie. After the first one, I decided I needed a second one as well. And I mean, who wants to get in the way of a girl and her chocolate? Not I, said the cat.

"So, what was with the upset expression earlier at school?" I asked, remembering his disgruntled face and how he'd promised to tell me later. I handed him a cookie, before turning around to spatula the rest on to the plate Esme had already set out. I needed to focus on something other than wanting to be angry with him.

"You sure get straight to the point don't you?" Edward grumbled, leaning against the counter moodily. "So, listen Bella," He said, reaching out to still my hands working to arrange the cookies prettily on the plate. I looked up at him and he took a deep breath. "I got into the University of Chicago."

He cringed as if I would start yelling. I just stared at him, waiting for the explanation as to why he was so nervous to tell me. Also, I was extremely glad I wasn't getting left out on the news wagon.

"I know we all planned to go to the University of Seattle, but my counselor thought it might be a good idea to apply to more than one college. So I applied to a few, and U of C was one of them. I didn't really expect to get in, but now that I did, I don't know, I'm… I'm kind of thinking about going."

I wasn't mad at him. How could I be mad at him when I'd applied and got accepted into the University of Arizona purely to have an escape plan? Hey, maybe now when things end bad, I can still be with the rest of my friends in Seattle. That might quite possibly be the most selfish thought I'd ever had. "That's great, Edward!"

He looked at me for a minute, trying to read my expression for sincerity. I wasn't worried, because I truly was sincere, so I hugged him tightly, trying to ease his own worries. "Really, because I was also thinking that, I don't know, maybe you could apply there."

"To U of C?" I blinked.

"Yeah, Bella, it would be awesome. Just the two of us, out there on our own, finally experiencing life without our parents. Life past high school." Suddenly his eyes were bright and excited, and he was grabbing my shoulders.

I honestly didn't know what to say. What to make of that statement. He wanted to go to Chicago with me, and only me? "W-What about Alice, Emmett, Jasper, and Rosalie?" I asked for lack of better complaint.

"They'll get over it, who knows if all of them are going to Seattle anyway. That was something we agreed to freshman year, who knows what they're thinking now, you know? Emmett is getting tons of offers from a bunch of great football schools, Jasper's looking at some fantastic art schools, Rosalie could do anything with her looks, and Alice could even sell some of the stuff in her sketchbooks in freaking New York." I hadn't seen him this is excited about something in a long time, so I couldn't help but feel happy too.

I started thinking about what he was saying. It was true, we hadn't really talked about the University of Seattle since Freshman year, I'd just thought everyone had applied and that was that. But what Edward said made sense, we all had so many different talents. And we'd lived in Washington most of our lives, well all of mine.

"I know it's sounds stupid to say, but there is really a big world out there." Edward said, realizing where my thoughts were heading. "I want more than this, you know? I don't even really know what I want to do with my life," He laughed at this point, over a subject matter that usually made him feel down, "But I don't want to be tied down here forever."

I shrunk back from him at those words, and he instantly understood my reaction. Those were the words my mother had said to my father right before she left. It felt like Edward was now saying them to me. His hands reached out again, hugging my to his chest.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that," he soothed, his voice like velvet, his breath fanning across the side of my face. "I want to go with you, Bella. I want us to explore the world and live the life. We've been together since the third grade for Christ's sake, I couldn't leave you now if I tried to."

His words brought a flush to my face, and I was sure he didn't mean them in any other way than just best friends, but the words were still nice to hear. "Okay," I conceded, wondering if it was hard to get into U of C. And then wondering if I would go there after I destroyed our friendship by confessing. "But why Chicago?"

He laughed, pulling away from me slightly, and leading me by the hand away from the kitchen, past the hallway, and up the stairs to his room. "Because on the brochure the two people looked the closest to us."

I laughed along with him, rolling my eyes. Of course, because that's an excellent reason to pick a college where you would spend the next four years of your life. Sure enough, when we reached his room, and he showed me the U of C pamphlet, the couple on the front looked very similar to the two of us.

A redhead and a brunette. Except the redhead wasn't even close to as good-looking as Edward and I wasn't even close to as good-looking as the brunette. Still though, I laughed again, imagining Edward getting it in the mail and thinking instantly of us. He was so weird.

"Well, I guess there's no harm in applying, right?" I asked cautiously and Edward gave me his most perfect crooked smile. I almost melted right there, and it had been awhile since I'd fallen under that certain charm of his. He came over and pecked me right on the cheek, reminding me of my actions to him when we'd found our tree.

I bit my lip, the question passing my mind if I should tell him about Arizona, but then he'd ask why, and I didn't want to explain my backup plan… and when I looked back at him I noticed he was staring at my lips with that hooded gaze of his. Oh, well, hello, stranger.


	6. Stupid Girl

**You Belong With Me**

**By: emerald(e)grl**

**Chapter Six : Stupid Girl**

Tyler Crowley was coming over to my house. We'd been assigned partners in English and had decided noon on Saturday would be the best day to build a model of Moby Dick. Yes, you heard me; because, really, building a big ugly whale would help us better grasp the symbolic themes behind the masterpiece novel. Or something like that.

Of course, Edward was none too happy about this. He said it was because he didn't like the way Tyler looked at me – like something he wanted to feast upon – but I knew the truth. The truth was that Edward was grumpy because I had kicked him out of my room so I could take a shower and get ready.

He had been grumbling incoherently to himself all the way up until I slammed the bathroom door shut and turned on the shower. Now, I was getting out, and as I assumed he was gone by now, decided it was safe to go out in just my towel and pick out my attire for the day. After my project, I was being dragged to the mall by Alice and Rosalie.

I wondered absentmindedly if Charlie was up yet, and if so, if Edward had joined him. Usually, Edward was a bit cranky until he had some food in him – something I'd learned through personal experience. But Edward wasn't downstairs. Instead, he was leaning against my headboard, moving his lips in time with the music coming from my stereo he must've turned on, and peeling off his shirt, seemingly oblivious to my entrance.

Oh god, someone in the world hated me to torture me with this. Or loved me. If I'm not careful I might start drooling. Must… look… away.

Suddenly, Edward noticed me, and it seemed he had a problem staring too. We stared at each for the longest, awkwardest, intense stare until I remembered I was still in just my towel. My face flushed in its usual embarrassing habit.

Edward was next to me and smirking in the next instant, and I wasn't quite sure what to do except let him take control. I was kind of busy on focusing on my breathing. Which, actually, wasn't really necessary, considering Edward's mouth was on mine just as suddenly.

"Isabella," His breath was hot in my ear, his tone laced with amusement. Really, I should never have told him my full name. I looked at him with my best composed face, and he gave me his most beautiful crooked smile. Damn, he really was perfect. "Come on, stay here with me,"

Was this still about Tyler freaking Crowley? I guess I should be thankful it wasn't Mike Newton coming over to be my English partner; at least Edward was civil to Tyler. Now, I was kind of mad though – here we were making out and all Edward could think about was convincing me not to do an innocent English project. "Edward," I scowled at him.

"I know, I know," Edward rubbed his nose tenderly against the side of my face, and I wasn't sure if this was still best friend Edward. Oh, great, were there levels too now? That's all I need; a freaking gradient scale to determine how I'm supposed to behave around him. This seems to be three-ninths make out Edward and six-ninths best friend Edward.

Oh, did you catch the new name? Yes, it rarely stopped at just kissing now, so I'd upgraded one of crazy Edward's names. Hey, there's an idea – how about I just make things simple and call him crazy Edward? Plus, that nametag would be so much better to put on him, instead of always changing his other ones with whatever he was feeling right at that moment.

"Just…" But Edward didn't really get to finish his sentence, because then I couldn't resist shirtless Edward anymore, no matter how mad I was, so I kissed him just as eagerly as we'd been kissing before. "Can't you…" He really was not getting the hint.

I pushed him back, making sure he could see my irritated pout – he laughed – and the back of his knees hit the bed, forcing him to sit. I was feeling a bit mischievous. At least, that's the only reason I have to explain my sudden action of scrambling onto Edward's laps so I was effectively straddling him. Resisting giggles at his raised eyebrows and pushing away my embarrassment and insecurities, I gently grabbed Edward's hand and placed it just over my towel-covered chest, making sure to keep his mouth busy so no questions could escape.

I did say I wanted to try second base, right?

Finally, Edward's oh-so-clever mind seemed to be comprehending so he took it from there, his hand cautiously reaching to cup my left breast. My breathing halted for a moment, and I couldn't resist pulling back slightly to look at him. His dark eyes were intense and I sighed delightfully next to his mouth, almost spelling out that he needed to continue right this instant.

Which he proceeded to do so with a quick tug with the other hand, effectively dropping my towel around my waist. Oh. Now he was using both hands and my head rolled back so that I could try to take a deep breath. I really had to work on this breathing issue of mine. But it wasn't too much of a concern, because then Edward was trailing his lips down to the hollow of my throat, biting in a way that made me think I must taste positively delicious.

"Edward," Was that really my voice? It was low and husky and unguarded; but I couldn't really be held responsible for my involuntary reaction considering he'd just rubbed his thumb across my nipple in a weird mix of tenderness and roughness. Lord, what have I gotten myself into?

I felt all the blood in my body rush to my face – well, I thought it was all to my face, until I heard Edward say so low it was almost incomprehensible, "Bella, even the tops of your breasts blush." Well, _that _certainly didn't do anything to control the color of my flushing. Or the places for that matter.

Edward pulled me closer to him, being sure to take his new freedom very slowly. I briefly wondered if he also had been wanting to try second base. Oh, and for that matter, did second base require me to do something? On second thought, touching Edward did not need to be required, it was definitely more of a privilege.

I left Edward occupied with my chest – and yes, actually Edward's hands were amazingly more satisfying than my own, not that I doubted his talented fingers – I brought my lips once again to his mouth and my hands to the tops of his shoulders, zealously reveling in the contours and planes of everything my hands could reach.

Trying to get my breathing under control, I couldn't decide if things were going too fast or too slow. All I knew was that I wanted more, desperately so; but I also had no idea what it would mean if things went much farther. Third base already? I let myself push these thoughts out of my cluttered mind and fall to the moment, kissing the side of his mouth now, this time making my way toward the spot behind his ear.

At the sound of Edward's guttural moan, I almost felt dizzy. "Isabella," His voice was velvet and now I really was dizzy, sure that all that blood rushing upward might be the cause of it. Or desire, because that was kind of skyrocketing too.

The sound of the doorbell was a rude awakening. A very, very, _very_ rude awakening. I grabbed my towel hastily, jumping off Edward and basically to the other side of the room, covering myself just as Edward's frustrated groan sounded. He was still sitting on the edge of my bed, looking even grumpier than before.

"Edward, I have to change!" I just about shoved him out of my room in a flurry of a blush and scrambling limbs. I stood for a moment, clutching my towel awkwardly to my heaving chest and staring at the door I had just slammed closed. Oh _god_.

Okay, okay. So… I just need to, um, get dressed. Yes, that's what I was doing. Throwing on under garments, jeans, and a tank top, I hurriedly brushed my hair as I stared at myself in my bedroom mirror. Okay. Other than my red face, I didn't look any different. I mean, well, I _felt_ different – but that was only because now I was very ready to continue where we'd been so rudely interrupted. Other than that, no, nothing different.

Still Bella and still Edward. Who was now best friend Edward.

Who was probably giving Tyler the evil eye downstairs right alongside my father who would be repeatedly glancing over to his gun holster. Yes, Tyler downstairs waiting. Oh, right! Deciding to let my hair air-dry, I took the stairs two at a time, almost tumbling right into Tyler, who inconveniently stood right at the bottom.

"Bella!" Tyler's voice sounded relieved, and I wasn't sure if it was because I was to save him from the menacing father-friend duo or if it was because I'd managed to tumble into the bench next to the door and not his face. "Hello,"

"Hey, Tyler," I said, smiling uneasy as I pulled him toward the dining room table. Charlie seemed satisfied with whatever introduction had taken place when he'd answered the door, so he went back into the living room. I glanced back at Edward to make sure he was appropriately following my father, only to find him grinning as he follower Tyler and I.

"So, I was thinking we might do paper mache, but my mom told me it would take more than a day, and I kind of thought this would be an easy kind of thing, you know?" It was really hard to concentrate on Tyler's rambling, when Edward was seating himself at one end of the dining room table, staring at us on the opposite end.

"Um, sure," I mumble, glaring at Edward who is just looking freaking _dandy_ down there. He is so not getting the hint. Well, two can play at that game, mister – this is me ignoring you. "Actually, Tyler, I have a whole lot of Play-Doh from when I was little that I thought we could use. Easier, and we just have to wait for it to dry. It shouldn't really be that hard."

It really shouldn't have been that hard, but between Tyler's inane comments and Edward's unveiled snickers over said comments, it was hard to concentrate on anything. Plus, Tyler was definitely not going to be a sculptor in this lifetime, so everything he tried to shape ended up looking more like a pancake.

Eventually, I forced both of the boys out of my head, and worked on my own whale while trying to call up Hamlet's first soliloquy from memory. Anything was better than, 'Did you, like, get this table at Mrs. Grady's yard sale last weekend?' followed by Edward's infuriating/delicious smirk.

Something _weary, stale, flat, and unprofitable_… _a beast that wants discourse of reason… nor it cannot come to good_. What was it? What did it start with? Oh lord, Edward is sending me those dark eyes from across the table. I look quickly to Tyler to find him busy trying to mold a fin. And hey, he can kind of do that well considering flippers are pretty thin anyway.

When I look back to Edward he is still staring. And still processes those dark emerald eyes. I'm squirming lightly in my seat even as I try to sit it out and play Edward's stupid staring game. My lips have gone dry, and before I can think too much into it, I'm licking them lightly, swallowing when his lips twist even more into that sinfully delicious shape.

"Hey, look here, Bella!" Tyler's excited shout had me shooting daggers and trying not to flinch away from his outdoor voice used indoors. Still, I'm not quite sure where that whole thing with Edward was going, so I'm kind of glad for the distraction. "I did the flippers and dorsal fin; what do you think?"

"Those are good, Tyler," It's as if he's six. "Let's add them to my body and head." And by my, I meant my whale's. I really shouldn't be thinking about my body. And head, for that matter. Especially, since I'm still stuck squirming for reasons unknown. I think it's time for Tyler to leave. "Hey, Tyler, why don't-"

My cell started ringing from its charger in the kitchen, and I stopped midsentence to run and grab it. It was Alice, so I decided to answer it. As soon as I pushed Answer, Alice's voice rattled off at an energetic pace. "Bella Bells, guess what today is?!"

"My, um…" Her chipper voice did relieve some of the tension I'd been feeling in the other room, so for that I was thankful. "My favorite day?" She sure seemed excited by it, at least. Wait, it isn't anyone's birthday, is it? I checked the calendar on the fridge. Nope.

"Exactly!" She cheered as if my answer had been a legitimate one to her question. Well, at least it was easy to win with Alice – maybe not so easy to win _against_ Alice, but that was a place I didn't often go. "Rose and I are going to be outside your house in five minutes – we're going shopping!"

Definitely not my favorite day.

"Wait a minute, Alice, you know how much I hate shopping…" Oh no, she was gone. That's the dial tone I'm hearing in response. I hang up the phone and grumpily go back into the kitchen, only to find Edward right where I left him but with a more disgruntled look – kind of matched my own now actually. Tyler, on the other hand, is idly playing with a leftover ball of Play-Doh, trying not to make eye contact.

"Bella!" Tyler sounding quite excited to see me, when he finally noticed me lingering in the doorway, unsure of what to do next. "The whale is finished!" Oh really? I had not noticed; but he proceeded to lift it up for me to see, causing me to immediately rush over and put it down. It wasn't even dry – I did not need this whole love fest repeating itself in case of one of us dropped it.

"Good job, Tyler," I paused for a moment to swat his hands away from messing with its mouth, "So, I'm going to be leaving soon, so, you know, sorry," I didn't want it to sound like I was kicking him out, but I so totally was. "I had fun, or whatever, I'm glad it turned out looking good."

"Yeah, me too, Bells," He smiled at me like he thought he was cute for coming up with his own special nickname. Ugh. "You and me make a pretty good team, don't we?" Cue scary growl from Edward, who was now standing close behind me as I ushered Tyler to the front door. He was moving at the pace of a turtle.

"Um, yeah, sure," I said, a little too preoccupied with trying to shoot Edward yet another glare. Edward looks torn between scowling at Tyler and pouting at me. He definitely needs a nap. Hmm, or maybe he's just hungry; I wonder if I have time to make him a quick breakfast/lunch.

"Great!" Tyler says in almost a shout just as he turns back to face the way he's walking and his foot lightly kicks the bench next to the door, causing it to skitter towards me, of course making me catch my foot on one end. I fall heavily, completely surprised, landing on the floor despite Edward's better attempts to catch my flailing limbs. "Oh, Bella!"

I vaguely notice Tyler trying to rush forward to offer assistance – which Edward will have none of since it seems he is hovering just over me like a overbearing mother – as my equilibrium resettles itself. Just a little bump on my bottom, but nothing I'm not too used to. I fall a lot, in case you've forgotten.

"Tyler, you can go," Well, _that_ certainly is one way to dismiss someone. I would try to give Edward a reprimanding look if it weren't so welcome for Tyler to finally vamoose. Or if my head weren't so dizzy. So I just let Edward take care of Tyler and take care of me as I try to get to my feet. "Good, we're alone. _Finally_."

He places a kiss just under my jaw, as if pleased at my whole scheme to get Tyler to leave. He knows the fall was real, he's seen enough of similar ones to know that was no ultimate plan of mine, but he thinks me making Tyler leave so fast was to benefit the two of us. It's just as I'm trying to gather my thoughts to tell him what my real motives were, when a horn honks outside.

"Edward," It is surprisingly hard to communicate when someone is trailing openmouthed kisses along you jaw and neck. Or maybe it's just because it's Edward. For the matter, maybe it's just because it's me. He pulls back to stare at me, his smoldering eyes dazzling me slightly. Damn it, must concentrate. "That's Rosalie and Alice."

That was definitely just a growl I heard from the back of Edward's throat. I tried not to laugh.

"Besides, you need a shower, Edward," He really doesn't, but teasing is easy than saying something like 'Besides, I don't know what I might do if I were to be alone with you anymore, and my dad is in just the next room… We'll have to be quiet, at least.' Which, you know, not the best thing to say to your best friend.

Although, make out Edward might not mind that little confession… No, wait, not going there. I busy myself with finding my purse, jacket, and shoes as Edward trails behind me. "I do not need a shower, Bella. What do they want anyway?" He says it in a pompous kind of way, making me laugh more, because they're just as much his friends as they are mine.

"They're dragging me to the mall." I answer, trying not to focus on how close he is behind me, or the way his smell is making my head spin slightly in an absolutely fantastic way.

"There, see?" He seems excited by this news, and I already know why. "You don't even like shopping!" I've found everything by now, and am standing by the door as he spins me around to face him. "You can stay here with me."

"No, Edward, I really can't." But it comes out more seriously than I meant to, and I think he can read something in my eyes that I didn't mean to express, because he's halted now, his hands tightening and releasing on the tops of my shoulders.

His furrowed eyebrows and surprised mouth do nothing to hurt his hurt eyes. "Isabella," His voice is a sigh, a exhale of breath in frustration and sadness. The horn outside honks again, and I break away from his hands and emerald gaze, before I succumb to his dazzling ways.

When I'm in the backseat of Rosalie's cherry red corvette and greetings have been made, I let my mask fall and suddenly want to cry. Luckily, Rosalie has the top down, so when Alice turns around with a bewildered look on and asks if I'm crying, I just tell her it's the wind in my eyes.

I don't cry long, especially because I know Alice doesn't believe me – hello, awful liar here – by the cryptic look she shoots Rosalie. To be honest, I'm not even sure why I teared up in the first place, so I shake thoughts of Edward off as best as I can and listen to the helpful chatter of Alice. I never thought I'd be so thankful that she can talk a mile a minute without needing someone to answer back.

We spend only half the car ride like this, before Rosalie says bluntly, "So, what happened with Edward?" This question is of course addressed to me; how they knew it was about Edward I'll probably never know. Suddenly, I wanted to tell them. And I mean _everything_. "Come on, Bella, tell me what he did."

That effectively squashed any intention I had of spilling my guts. They assumed it was Edward's doing that caused me to be upset, but really, it was all my fault. It was my decisions I was ashamed of. Something about this whole situation was just… not sitting well. Or something. But it was Edward. It was _my _Edward; and things had always been easy between us.

"Nothing, really," They stared at me, Alice a little impatiently. They were calling me out on my lie of course. "I don't… I don't want to talk about it right now, you guys." I didn't think they'd let me off on that one, but, to my surprise, they didn't ask any more questions about my tears or Edward. Well, okay, so they did ask one.

"Have you decided when you're going to tell him?" Alice asked eagerly, as was her custom when it was just us girls. I shake my head with a frown, which, actually, is my usual custom to that answer. And we just need Rosalie to…

"Good, she shouldn't do it," Ah, yes, there it is.

The only thing different would be, "Yeah, actually, I'm thinking it will never be the right time." My response is new. I notice Rosalie's wide eyes and frown, the opposite of the reaction I'd thought she'd have. Having dealt with Pro Alice and Con Rosalie, the angel and devil on my shoulders during this whole Let's Confess to Edward Plan, I never would've thought Rosalie's reaction would be negative when I picked her way.

"What?" They ask simultaneously, and I close my eyes finally understanding why Edward feels the need to pinch the bridge of his nose when he's frustrated. But I know doing that won't save me.

"Um, yeah, I don't think I'm going to tell Edward how I feel anymore." They looked at me with a mixture of expressions I couldn't quite decipher. All I knew was that they needed me to continue. "I can't imagine not being with Edward after we graduate. I'm too selfish. If I told him and… and it ended badly, I don't think I could go somewhere without him. I have to be with him."

Because we belonged together. Even if it was just as best friends.

"Bella," Alice sounded almost as heart-broken as I felt. "Remember when you told us last week how Edward wanted to go with you to U of A?" I did remember the conversation, of course. It had been the nine of us, just like old times, and we'd sat in the Cullen living room, re-discussing our future plans. It seems they'd been waiting for someone else to bring it up, just like Edward had thought.

"That just proves that Edward can't be without you either." Rosalie picked up where Alice's question had left off. "If you were to tell him about your feelings, and by the non-existent chance he were not to feel the same, he would still want to be with you. He wouldn't lose you over anything." No, you're supposed to be Con Rosalie!

"Exactly, Bella," Alice nodded right along, turning fully around to face me from the front seat as Rosalie parked. "No matter if things get awkward or uncomfortable, Edward would work through them. Things have gotten bad between you before, but ten years is too much for either of you to throw away. You have to trust Edward."

Trusting Edward wasn't really the problem. I didn't know how to tell either of them that the insecurities were in myself. Especially since I knew they would just disagree with me. And I didn't want to be disagreed with, I wanted to be listened to. Or something. "Okay," But it wasn't.

"Now I think it's time for some retail therapy!" Alice shouted. While I looked thrilled – not – Alice and Rosalie basically skipped to the entrance. They sure do love their shopping. I just didn't get it. We'd agreed to go to the food court first, so it was there that we headed.

Rosalie was all about healthy sandwiches, Alice was all about Chinese cuisine, and I opted for the good ol' hamburger and fries. Seeing as we couldn't come to a decision, we decided to split up and meet back at a table near the middle. My stomach was literally growling as I waited in line. I couldn't focus on anything but that until a swish of blonde from the corner of my eye caught my attention.

Tanya.

Tanya coming straight toward me, her arms filled with shopping bags, all alone. I'm pretty sure it's too late to hide, so I gave my best smile and said stupidly, "Hi Tanya, good to see you." Why was she coming at me like she was on a mission.

"Hello, Bella," She was almost a little sad, and it instantly made me feel weird. Was she here on her own retail therapy? "I'm glad I caught you alone; I wanted to speak to you, but you're usually always with Edward or your two friends." I didn't quite know if this was an insult or just a fact.

"Yeah, oh?" Why was it that I was completely incapable of sounding intelligent in front of Edward's girlfriend? I just felt so pathetic when the two of us were standing next to each other.

"Look, I…" She didn't sneer at me. She looked almost… nervous? Was that it? "I just wanted to say that I have no hard feelings toward you or anything. I was always," She paused, her perfectly glossed lips pursed, "jealous of you, Bella. Edward and you have been best friends for years, and everyone in Forks can see the type of relationship you have."

I tried to compose my face so that my mouth wasn't hanging open unattractively. Jealous? Tanya Denali jealous of me, Isabella Swan? It didn't make any sense at all.

"I know I've been kind of a bitch to you. But, if you see it from my point, how could I not try anything to keep Edward? He's amazing. He doesn't just stare at my boobs, or ignore me when I talk, or try to feel me up on the first date. I mean, yeah, eventually it became annoying and I thought I'd finally met a man who could resist me, but he is intelligent and sweet. He's incredible."

Well, duh. But it was starting to make sense how she could send those evil looks at me. Who's to say I wouldn't have done the exact same thing if Edward wasn't giving all his attention to me if I was his girlfriend? In fact, I found myself understanding. I would be a bitch too if I were Tanya and she was me. And wait a minute, what did she mean she _thought_ she met a man who could resist her?

"Anyways, I guess I just wanted to, I don't know, ask for your forgiveness for being such a bitch?" She looked almost as uncomfortable as I felt. Especially considering I was still wondering if Edward had been not telling me about his experience with girls again. "I am sorry, and you really are extremely nice after all I've said to you. I understand why Edward picked you, you really are a good best friend."

I could tell Tanya was being sincere, but her words still hurt me. Sure, Edward picked me as a best friend, but he picked her as the girlfriend. I don't think she meant to hurt me, but sometimes there are people who just say things that unintentionally _mean_. I know you know people like that – there's one in every school.

"Yeah, that's fine," But it wasn't. God, was I PMSing or something; everything had me in the mood to cry.

Tanya smiled, her perfect teeth gleaming at me, "Awesome." She seemed to be debating if she was going to hug me before she left, but thank the Lord, she left with a simple wave. I'm not really the hugging type. Especially if it was going to be Tanya who my arms were wrapped around.

My head pretty much shut off for the rest of my mall trip, and thought I could tell Rosalie and Alice were worried, I also knew they didn't really know what to do about, considering I'd told them repeatedly I didn't want to talk about it. They were nice about not making me try on everything like they usually did though. Still, that couldn't keep them from picking up and few things here and there for me.

When I finally make it home, with a retreating bear hug from both Alice and Rosalie, it's with a quiet sigh I open my front door. I feel down again and as I sneak upstairs quietly, not knowing if Edward is with Charlie downstairs, I'm kind of hoping I can cry all by myself on my bed. Which is stupid, cause I can't quite figure out why I want to cry so badly.

Because I know I can't tell Edward the truth? Because I'm keeping a secret from him? Because I can't tell Alice and Rosalie what's going on with Edward and me? Because I don't want anything to change, and I wish time would cut me a break and just stop? Because maybe Tanya deserves Edward and she's not a complete bitch? Because I'm Edward's best friend and that's all I'll ever be?

Maybe all of the above.

I'm crying as soon as my head hits the pillow and I kind of hate myself for it. I hate myself even more when Edward's arms are wrapping around me and his voice is saying my name in my ear. And then he's silent, just pulling me to his chest, listening to my sobs. He doesn't ask any questions and I don't feel the need to explain myself even though I know he must be curious as hell as to why I'd come home sobbing from a simple shopping trip.

But it's exactly what I need. Because Edward listens to me even when I can't speak, and he holds me when I tell myself I don't want to be held, even though I do, if only by him. God, am I completely stupid?


	7. The Other Woman

**You Belong With Me**

**By: emerald(e)grl**

**Chapter Seven : The Other Woman**

It was raining slightly, just like it always was in Forks. Not so much that I felt the need to get up from the swing I sat on, but enough for me to have to brush back my slightly damp bangs. My mother was supposed to be watching me, but I couldn't see her from where I sat, so instead I thought about the ice cream she had promised to buy me.

Other than what happened a few seconds after, I can still only really remember the ice cream. That damn promise. One of the many promises Renee had made me and forgotten about. She'd spent her money on a pack of gum and soda the day before.

So she took me to the playground instead – this was free. But my friends weren't here; Rosalie, Jasper, and Emmett were having dinner like most other families. I suddenly missed my dad, and worried he'd be at Billy's when we got back. He spent more and more time away from home.

But I guess that was better than my mom yelling.

That stupid damn ice cream. I was going to get chocolate chip cookie dough. Two scopes on a cone. I'd thought about that damn ice cream all week – with only my dad's job to support our family treats like these didn't come often.

I remember sitting on the swing, not actually swinging, for a whole hour at least. I probably would've stayed on that swing until my mother came around if it hadn't been for Edward. Or, should I say Edward's kicking skills? One moment there was an empty landscape of grass and sky, and the next a red kickball was coming straight for me.

Of course, even back then my reflexes were shit, so the ball smacked me square in the face, sending me sprawling over and onto the gravel beneath me. I lay, stunned, squeezing my eyes shut against the startling sting.

"Hey, are you okay?" When I opened my eyes again, there was Edward, crouching over me looking incredibly concerned. I closed my eyes and started to cry. It didn't even really hurt, but with the ice cream, and those worried big eyes from Edward, I was sobbing.

"Oh my god, Edward! Look what you've done!" This time when I opened my eyes there was another head next to Edward's – a girl with long black locks reaching all the way to her ten-year old bottom – Alice. She wouldn't hack all her hair off until she entered junior high. "You made her cry!"

Of course by now my face was all swollen and red, which is the only excuse I have for Edward when he next said. "Did her face look that ugly before the ball hit her?"

"Shut up, Edward!" Alice shoved him away, but it didn't take long before his face was looming over mine again. Other than my slightly off-skelter equilibrium, I was really just transfixed by his copper locks. They had been a whole lot brighter when we were younger- almost orange. "The first girl you meet in a new town and you make her cry!"

"You look like a penny," I said, sitting up faster than I probably should've considering I knocked my head against Edward's. "Ow." Edward held his head in a grimace and scowled at me, yanking the hood of his blue raincoat over his head to cover his hair. I crossed my eyes at him. "A dirty penny."

It was the start of a beautiful friendship I guess. Even though Edward had called me ugly and technically already made me cry, he was the first boy who didn't run screaming from me about cooties. And considering while the other girls wanted to play dress up and Barbies, I wanted to get dirty with chalk, I didn't have many friends.

"I'll give you more than a penny for tonight, baby," Ew, really? My attention snapped back to the blank computer screen in front of me as James voice in my ear called me back to reality. I shoved away from the table, effectively distancing myself from his lips. He was such a creep.

"James, go back to your computer." It really sucked that he was in journalism with me, even if he did somehow get all the scoops. It pissed me off to no end. Especially because he seemed to love rubbing it in my face that his aggressiveness was actually useful for something. The only way I ever got stories was by being invisible.

"Bella, I bet you'll be interested in the latest rumor I heard. I forgot to tell you yesterday." He probably forgot to tell me yesterday because his tongue was down Lauren's throat in the bathroom down the hall. I may love the journalist teacher, Mrs. C, but she really was oblivious to a teenager's tricks.

The problem with James was that you were never really sure if he was telling the truth. The way I'd come to see it, the only time he really even told the truth was when it was more disturbing than a lie. He loved to mess with people's heads and be a real dickwad.

Which reminds me, Dickward – which I'd taken to calling Edward now that he was fawning over me like a mother hen ever since my sob attack three days ago – was going to pick me up today. I glanced at the computer screen, ignoring James impatient look. Edward would be here give or take five minutes; it really sucked having the only Journalism class be the last period, it meant I couldn't leave early like Edward could.

"Isabella-"

"Don't call me that." I snapped, my head whipping toward him before I could think about my actions. Damn, his smirk was already there – he knew just how to get under my skin. Nobody called me my full name, well, I guess except Edward- excuse me, I mean Dickward. "I don't want to hear any rumors you think you heard, James."

"Oh no, Bella, I believe this one will interest you very much." He said, his hand grasping my own before I could pull it away. It didn't hurt, necessarily, but it made me really uncomfortable. He was making chills go down my spine – and totally not the kind make out Edward gives me. "Tell me you want to hear this rumor."

I really hated when James did this little trick. He'd lean in real close – way past my rather large personal bubble – and try some bullshit Jedi mind trick or something. As if ordering me to do something would actually make me do it – he so did not have the dazzle skills Edward had. Especially since James' ice blue eyes gave me the heebie jeebies.

I glanced again at my computer screen trying to focus on the title of the article I had been trying to write, The Worth of a Penny. If only every damn thing didn't get me lost into my own head, maybe then I wouldn't have allowed James to sneak up on me. I felt James' hand on my jaw, forcing my eyes to meet his again.

I didn't like this. Not one little bit. "James, don't." My ordering him didn't work on him either apparently. He leaned in even closer, and even though I tried not to look even the slightest bit scared, I think my nostrils might've flared and given me away because now he was smirking again.

"I believe Bella said _don't_, James," Edward's velvety voice sounded more like steel at the moment, and I noticed James' hands dropped from me instantly. I pushed back in my chair to stand up at the same time James did, except while I ended up behind Edward, James ended up face to face with him. I'm pretty sure Edward was responsible for that.

"Why, Cullen, we were just talking about you," James said easily, but I think all three of us noticed his retreat back a few steps. With Edward's fierce gaze and set jaw, I'm pretty sure even Emmett – who was twice his size – would be backing up. And we were talking about Edward? Oh, the rumor must've been about him I guess.

"James," The threat was clear in his voice before he even said anything, and I was glad Edward let him retreat without following after him, because I'm not sure I'd have the courage to step between the two boys. "I really don't like you talking to Bella."

"And I really don't think you own her, Cullen." Which kind of made me mad; because, yes, while I would kind of appreciate Edward taking care of James' snide face for me, I also don't like when Dickward feels like he has to do so. I'm not a little girl – I can fight my own battles! Wow, I totally just sounded like a little girl, didn't I?

Don't answer that, actually.

"Seriously boys, save your little rumble for the parking lot," There, that sounded mature – and snarky, which in my book, is always a plus. I logged off and shut down my computer quickly, not looking at either of them until I had straightened up. James was staring at the v of my shirt – Alice dress up day, in case you're curious – and I noticed Edward's tightened fists at his sides.

Oh, Lord, I hoped he knew I was kidding about the rumble thing – this was not the Greasers vs. the Socs or anything like that. I moved my hair in front of my shoulders, glad that most of my chest was now covered, and that James was now looking at my face instead of trying to check out my cleavage. Well, his eyes really do freak me out – is my face really better than my chest?

Edward seemed to relax slightly, and shifted closer to my side as the bell rang, I guess trying to shield my body from James' view. At least I wasn't wearing a skirt, although maybe skinny jeans weren't much better, seeing as James still felt the need to check out my legs. I grabbed Edward's arm, all but dragging him out the door as he glared a retreating warning to James.

Really, he was going to start snapping and jumping in rendition of the Sharks vs. the Jets if I didn't get him to his car soon. I just hope we don't – oh, speak of the devil, here comes Tyler. And look, there goes Tyler, in Edward's renewed race to the exit and his car.

"Bella, partners, right?" What the hell was he shouting at me. I just smiled and tried to wave, even as Edward was leading me at an almost run. He wasn't even breathing hard, unlike me, although he was growling. One, Tyler's an idiot; two, I'm really out of shape, damn; and three, overprotective Dickward is getting on my last nerve.

Jeez, a girl can't cry one night and expect to not have to explain herself to her best friend? Can't he be a normal boy and just forget about it, I mean, really? Then again, I guess it hadn't helped that I'd taken to skipping lunch to hang in the library instead of watching the happy couple. I couldn't go back to watching that until I at least got the courage to ask Edward his new intimacy level.

Which wasn't really going to be anytime soon.

Alice and Rosalie were concerned as well, but at least they didn't drive me up the wall with treating me like some helpless, insolent child about to fly off the handle at any moment. It sucked how the secrets were just piling up between us. First the whole I'm in love with you thing, and now this whole you having a girlfriend is killing me in more ways than one thing.

Or maybe that was just one secret – I just had to tell him one thing to clear up all the miscommunications between us. The more I thought about it, the more indecisive I was becoming. How exactly do you tell your best friend you're in love with him? And, as they say, live to tell the tale? You don't, that's how.

Stupid penny boy. Looking over at him in the driver's seat, I wondered if he'd remember what I was talking about. Probably not, but he wouldn't look at me like I was mentally retarded either. It seemed even when I didn't make sense to myself, Edward was there sorting through it to find worth. I even sound lovesick, don't I?

"I really wish you would tell Mrs. C when James is bothering you in class, Bella," Edward's voice was only slightly less tense, and even though I looked away, I couldn't resist rolling my eyes. It seemed as if Edward could see, or he simply just knew my action. "Seriously, Bella, he could've hurt you."

He was making a big deal out of nothing; James might be a creep, but he was harmless. I shut my mouth though, resisting starting an argument. It was Tuesday, which meant study day, which meant my whole night would be spent with Edward, which meant I was so not going to start a stupid fight that could potentially ruin the next six or so hours.

That didn't stop me from pinching him though. He yelped as I got the skin on his forearm, pinching a little harder than normal. Eh, maybe a bitch move, but I figured if Edward didn't deserve it now, he'd probably deserve it sometime in the future. "Bella, I'm driving, try and be more careful."

I was going to give up my next six hours of peace so I could have it out with him now, but when I turned to him he was giving me that crooked grin. He knew I hated his driving, and that it was reckless enough without blaming safety issues on me. I couldn't resist sticking my tongue out at him. I guess there are just some things you never grow out of.

Usually we studied at my house, but his parents wanted to have me over for dinner, claiming they had missed me. I didn't really know how you could miss someone you saw just last Friday, but it's whatever –I really liked Edward's parents. Carlisle and Esme were perfect; just like Edward.

We reached his house soon enough and it seemed Alice had gone over to Jasper's, leaving the house to ourselves seeing as his parents were still at work. I tried to conjure up my angry feelings at him, seeing as how my stomach had twisted in something akin to anticipation at the notion of an empty house.

We passed Edward's piano on the way to the stairs and I thought momentarily of asking him to play for me – there was no sound more beautiful in my opinion – but then I realized there would be no stopping me from jumping him if he were to play right now. So we made our way up to his room –seriously, seriously out of shape – and dropped our backpacks on the floor to begin our homework.

It couldn't have been even half an hour before I got restless. Plus, Edward was shifting on the floor across from me every two freaking seconds. I glanced at him in annoyance only to find him watching me. "What?" Wait a minute… nope, still best friend Edward.

"Are you okay, Bella?" Oh, for the love of all that is holy, could he just stop asking me that? I pushed myself up from my laying position on the floor to face him more fully. I wanted him to really understand when I told him I was perfectly fine.

"No, Edward, I'm not." Okay, well, that wasn't quite what I had planned to say. He moved closer to me, and I realized with a sigh that I couldn't take back my previous words now. I guess I should get this over with. "Have you been lying to me?"

He looked instantly regretful and guilty and as my stomach dropped I understood that maybe I really didn't want to know how far Edward had gotten with Tanya.

"I told you that you could tell me anything, Edward. We promised to tell each other our experiences, remember?" Here he looked confused, but by now I was just rushing to get it all out. "I know you've gotten further with Tanya than you've told me since last time."

"What? No, Bella," His slowness in saying these words was equal to my measure of fastness when I had been blurting out mine. "I honestly haven't done anything more with Tanya; I haven't even really seen her alone since you last asked that question." I figured that must be true, seeing as how their dates had been pretty much nonexistent since football season had ended. He had claimed they were both busy all the time.

How could I have forgotten that? I'd been seeing a lot more of Edward than usual, so I guess I just thought he'd spent equal time with his girlfriend. Then what the hell did Tanya's stupid comment mean? "So you really haven't…?" I had to be sure**. **For some reason, I just had to be sure.

"No, Bella, I promise," Then I was lunging across the short distance between us to hug him, kind of missed, and ended up kissing him instead. Maybe I hadn't really missed, and my body knew what to do to really convey my current feelings. I pulled back slightly, seeing Edward's wide eyes, and remembered that this wasn't make out Edward I was kissing. This was best friend Edward.

Oh, what the hell, it's not my fault he's bi-polar. So I continued kissing him right there in his lap, not that he seemed to mind. After reaching second base a few days ago, I'd been worried that we were moving too fast. But the more I thought about it, I figured we were just moving at a delayed rate, since we'd known each other for so long before finally doing anything about it.

I think the logic made more sense in my head. Nothing could really stop me right now though. I was entirely too content to spend my time in Edward's arms, doing what I liked. And what I liked at the moment was nipping and kissing down his perfect jaw, taking my leisurely time to the hollow next to his ear – which he really liked if the noises he was making were any clue.

I reached my hands up for his face, getting the leverage to pull my body closer to him. As I was working on the deliciousness of his throat, I felt him swallow and heard him whisper. "Bella?" Maybe I was being a little too eager, but, really, you can't blame a girl when she's alone in a bedroom with the love of her life. That sounds like a reasonable excuse at least, doesn't it?

I put my mouth securely back on to his, not saying anything but still answering his question. I'm not quite sure the exact meaning of his question, but my answer was a definite shut up and let me work, stupid penny. I was pretty new at this – taking charge of the making out, not the actual making out – but it certainly was exciting being in control.

Tongues swirling delightfully, I felt Edward push me away only slightly, so he could bring us both to standing. While it did require a little more effort than usual, what with both of us not finding a need to detach ourselves first, it turned out successful enough. We stumbled – well, I stumbled and kind of dragged Edward around with me – for a bit, and then stood next to the bed, Edward sitting when we must've gotten close enough.

Our kisses did not lessen in urgency nor passion, and all I could manage was a moment to take a shuddering gasp of air before I felt the ever-present magnet that brought me right back to Edward. My hands went of their own accord, reaching up under his shirt to finally press softly against his chest. I sighed into his mouth, finally glad to feel Edward's marvelous muscled torso. Mmm.

No, wait, that wasn't just internal – that was a real noise coming from the back of my throat. Edward's delightful response was a moan of his own. I lightly traced his defined abs, smiling when I heard an intake of breath that was all his. I guess I wasn't the only one with breathing problems, huh? His shirt was completely nonexistent in the next instant, and I wasn't quite sure if it was his hands or mine that finished the task.

Edward leaned back, pulling my body further on top of him. My hands and mouth were all over him now, reveling in the enchanting sounds he was making. I felt his hand on my hair as he brought my face closer to his and I was really past arguing with him then. Especially since I was treated with the familiar and intoxicating taste of his mouth.

I was straddling his body now and I could feel my arms starting to shake from my effort to hold myself up over him. I could blame this on my being out of shape, but the truth was Edward's kisses made my whole body wobbly. He made me so completely weak; yet so damn insistent for more – it was ridiculous.

I allowed myself to collapse on top of him, and it was like a spark of electricity when our chests fit together with nothing but my flimsy bra in between. Oh, Christ. Our bodies were just so hot, except for his hands; those incredible hands were cool and roaming my body and trailing an impossible amount of even more heat.

My heart was pounding in my ears and it suddenly felt like there was a hook attached to my belly button that was being viciously yanked upon from the back. Shit; I felt a rushing pain of sickness in the pit of my stomach. When had I even lost my shirt? One of Edward's perfect hands enclosed one of my breasts and the feeling came even harder.

What the fuck am I even doing?

I jumped off of him so quickly, so powerfully, that there was a moment of complete haziness from both of us. And then there was sound again, a blast to my ears that made everything too loud, extremely loud – my beating heart, my panting in harmony with his own, even the silence of the empty house seemed too loud all of a sudden.

Edward hoisted himself up with a bit of effort, seemingly dazed by the scene. His head must've cleared because then he was looking at me, dark eyes uncertain and questioning. I guess that meant make out Edward was here, not that it mattered now anyway.

I was speechless in all honesty. My lips felt swollen and trembly as if belatedly comprehending their earlier actions. I stared at his smoldering emerald gaze and tried unsuccessfully to stop the shiver that ran down my body. Finally my limbs responded to my inner yelling and I took one shaky step back, away from what my body obviously wanted to continue doing.

How could I though? Was I willing to go all the way? I mean, yes, I love Edward, but he had a fucking girlfriend. Okay, okay, I know what you're thinking, what an idiot – it wasn't like the girlfriend was a new edition. But, it just, it never felt wrong when I was with Edward. It should've though; I mean, he had a fucking _girlfriend_.

Which meant I was the other woman.

Oh, fuck, I was the other woman. I'd let myself become the other woman. Not only that, Edward had let me become the other woman. What a sad pathetic joke. Maybe I really did need to be treated like an insolent child, considering the way I'd been shoving my tongue down someone's throat who clearly had someone else to fill that particular position.

This, this right here, no matter how right or good it felt, this was cheating. We were cheating. Jesus, I must be completely dense to just come upon this realization after weeks of doing such a thing. I couldn't be this foolish, could I? Well, obviously, yes.

And really, splitting him into two Edwards? Just because in my head I'd justified it this way did not at all make it okay. He was not diagnosed with any split personalities, so I had no excuse for being such a tramp. I was the other woman – a slut, a whore, a bimbo – call it whatever, I was it. Oh god, I don't even know how to handle this kind of thing.

Edward was still staring at me half-clothed on the bed, probably wondering what I was going to do next. I was wondering the same thing. I didn't even really know how to feel. I was a mix of guilt, sadness, and pure unadulterated anger. It was a tossup of who I was more angry with – myself or Edward.

What would everyone think if they knew the truth of what had been happening behind closed doors between the two of us? God, no wonder Tanya was always so suspiciously crazy about us just being best friends – that certainly wasn't all we were. Not only was I the other woman, I'd willingly entered myself into a Friends with Benefits type of situation.

That dirty rotten little bastard. I think by now Edward was getting the gist of my thoughts from my expression, because he was off the bed in the next instant, coming towards me slowly, his hands up in a surrender action. I backed away, snatching my shirt up off the floor as I passed it, throwing it over my head.

"Bella, wait," He actually had the gall to speak. No, wait, look at me. Childishly blaming it all on Edward – it was more than enough my fault. Oh, God. This was my best friend. How was I supposed to fix this? "Listen to me, Isabella-"

"Don't call me that!" I hadn't snapped at him about my name in years. Besides, I needed to be Bella now, if that made any sense. Was it possible that I had split myself into two people as well – Bella and Isabella – to make everything alright? Was I really that messed up? "Don't say anything for a minute, fuck."

He seemed to accept that, most likely as a result of my cussing. I rarely cussed. Then again, I hadn't had much reason to before, especially not at him. I was still drawing blanks on where to go from here. I could have it out and yell out him, but I was more ashamed of myself than him at the moment. And I so did not need this argument turning against me.

"Edward," Well, I supposed it is a start. He stepped closer, his face a representation of true sorrow. He was close enough to touch me now, but he didn't, something I was equally grateful and upset for.

And you know what I somehow forgot to put on my list of why I'd taken to crying a few days ago? That Edward and I could get to second base and it didn't dawn on him that he needed to either break up with his girlfriend or at least stop his antics with me. Could I have been crying because I'd known all along I was the other woman?

No, because surely I would've stopped this sooner. Wouldn't I have? I mean, sure, I love Edward, and while I believe he belongs with me, no one else seems to. Not even him. Otherwise he'd be with me, wouldn't he? But he wasn't, he was with Tanya, and I was the secret.

"Edward," Let's try this again. I mean, I wasn't even crying; I could still handle this. "Don't say anything." I'd already determined I couldn't talk to him until I'd gotten my own internal reprimanding speech of the disastrous choices I'd been making. What to do, what to do. "Take me home, please."

Damn, I could even still be polite. Wasn't that worth some type of redemption points? Oh, who am I kidding? Edward stared at me, but I looked away, not able to hold his gaze, and afraid of what I'd find in his eyes. Or maybe afraid of what he'd see in mine. He nodded then, I guess taking my first command completely seriously by not saying a word.

I was glad his parents weren't home, it would be hell convincing them to let me leave so easily. Although, I guess if they had been here, I could've just explained the whole mess to them, ensuring a please-leave-our-home-and-don't-come-back request from the Cullens. That could've been loads of fun, I'm sure.

The silence was killing me, but there was unexpectedly only one thought in my head. I would not be able to handle it if Edward didn't show up at my house again at night. I relied on him to be there almost as much as I relied on my bed to still be in my room when I got home.

So, before I left, I knew I had to say it. "Edward, you have to come tonight." It was a plea if you ever heard one, almost desperate, but stuff like that didn't matter to Edward and I. It especially didn't matter considering the current state of things, when we needed someone most. It really was tricky when your secret make out partner happened to also be your best friend.

He looked at me again, probably trying to see if my crazy schizophrenic self could be trusted, so I managed to hold his gaze longer this time. I had to have him. Even if it was only to be next to me to keep the nightmares away. Besides, I hated change. Hated it probably just as much as I hated myself at the moment.

"But you better not say one goddamned word." That'll take care of any issues for one night. If my constant rationalizing had failed, I could at least rely on silence. I mean I'd been pushing away difficult conversations for a while now, all things considered.

There was only one thing I was certain of at the moment: no matter how much I loved Edward, I refused to be the other woman.

**Author's Note –** Alrighty guys, now I'm all caught up with what I have so far. Haha. Sorry the updates won't be everyday now – more likely it'll be weekends if all goes well. Thanks for the lovely and awesome reviews and I hope to see you soon!


	8. Morass

**You Belong With Me**

**By: emerald(e)grl**

**Chapter Eight : Morass**

Edward is seriously driving me crazy. Then again, I'm probably driving him crazy too. We're just not seeing eye to eye on this whole Let's-Avoid-The-Issue thing that I've been trying to stick to. Just when you think boys don't want to talk and share their feelings, you have to have one dying to do just that. Especially when you're trying to do the exact opposite.

I'd successfully cut off any conversation he'd tried to bring up about last night – which would be every one – and he'd been getting more and more frustrated. I was eternally grateful for once that we only had one class together, seeing as he hadn't had any chances since the first bell rang to bring up The Incident.

Yes, The Incident; my code name for last night, or more specifically what almost transpired last night. Basically, anything that had or had not occurred in Edward's room yesterday had been labeled The Incident. Labeled and put away until further notice. Hopefully that notice would be never.

After successfully avoiding the lunch room, having a test during our one class, and currently hiding behind the left wing of Forks High, I'd managed to avoid Edward all day…Which really was quite a bit of work considering he'd just be in my room tonight. And the next night. And the next. Well, you get my point.

There really was only so long I could avoid him. And if his expression at the moment was any indication of how he felt by my obvious hiding from him, he was getting really pissed. It took a lot to make Edward lose it, but seeing the way he stiffly stood by his shiny Volvo with his prominent jaw hard as steel, and his fiery emerald orbs searching the area for me, I couldn't help but feel a little scared.

And maybe just the tiniest bit turned on.

Edward shifted, crossing his arms over his glorious chest, allowing me a nice view of his muscled arms as well. Okay, maybe more than just a little bit turned on.

"Bella!" I think I just about jumped out of my skin, hearing my name coming from behind me right next to my ear. I turned hastily to see Alice beaming at me, seemingly not at all curious to as why I was hiding behind a building when every other student seemed to be in a mad dash to leave school. Oh, damn, she said that rather loud.

Before thinking to respond to the little pixie my head swiveled back to where I had last seen Edward standing, only to see him striding long angry steps toward us. His mouth was tightlipped and I couldn't help thinking that it was such a shame; I could find many better uses for such a fine pair of lips… Oh wait – there it is! Self-preservation finally kicking in.

"Uh, got to go, Alice!" I hastily tried to run the opposite direction of Edward, past a still beaming Alice, only to miss my footing on the stable ground. Damn. I hit the ground kind of hard, considering I was in a half-sprint, but as soon as my hands found purchase and I twisted over to stare up at the Cullen siblings, I realized something.

While Alice's bright smile was still perfectly intact, her foot was out. Her foot was out right where my feet had previously been. This time my faulty footing was not my own fault! Sputtering and shocked, I allowed Edward to pull me up, albeit none too gently. He was really pissed, most likely because I'd actually tried running in literal sense this time.

Traitor! My own dear friend Alice! I kind of just stared at her, not bothering to brush off the dirt from my jeans or check for injuries, and definitely refused to make eye contact with Edward…Though his grip on my arm was clearly to restrain me from attempting to get away once more.

"Thanks Alice," Edward's gruff voice alerted me to the fact that this was a set up. So not only was she a traitor, but I'd been set up! I was too shocked to be angry, so when Alice cheerfully said her goodbye, all I could do was stare off after her. Plus, I was still trying to avoid eye contact. "Bella?"

Nope, so not happening. I'm not looking up into those deep emerald death-traps.

Oh damn, can I just for once actually follow what my brain is trying to tell me? Because as soon as I looked up at him I was lost in his hurt and rage that swirled in those expressive eyes of his. Death-traps, like I said. He was as good as a Jewish mother with those things; I'd never felt so guilty.

"Did you really just try and run from me?" He seemed frustrated and not at all amused by this question, so it was only normal that I laughed. Seriously, sometimes I think something _must_ be wrong with me. Especially when my best friend was here hurting over my ducking every corner to avoid any and all contact with him – and then I laughed.

If I wasn't so in love with the boy, I'd be certain I was heartless.

"Bella, we need to talk," Was all he said when my laughter eventually came to an end. No, wait, see? I'm completely sane – laughter dispels tension. Now that my laughter was done, a ton of tension came all at once, and I was certain I wasn't the only one feeling it. Edward was close, holding my upper arm close to him so that he was literally towering over me, the brick building trapping me from the other side.

His eyes were dark and I felt for a moment he was for sure going to kiss me, but then he stepped back and dropped my arm. I was equal parts disappointed and relieved at this action. Okay, maybe not entirely equal, but I sure as hell wasn't going to be kissing him anymore now that I'd figured out what was making me so uneasy these last few weeks. I'm such an idiot.

"Look, I'm not going to make you stay here and listen to me," He shoved a hand angrily through his auburn locks. "If you want to leave, I won't make you stay." I didn't move. How could I even breathe when he was obviously so distressed at my total lack of care for his feelings? How could he make me feel so _guilty_?

"I won't…" My heart was beating even faster than when Alice had scared me half to death. Impossibly faster.

"Breathe, Bella," Edward's voice wasn't any less soft, but his eyes were lighter and deeper all at once. Ah, so that was the problem. What kind of girl needs to be reminded to do a standard every-day function? I need help.

"I won't leave- we should talk." There, that wasn't so hard. But I mean, was I really ready for this? We would have to bring up the whole bi-polarness (of us both) and the whole making out with your best friend thing. Plus, the whole 'It's been fun, Bella, but have you met my girlfriend? She offers me blowjobs' deal.

But then again, how hard could a blowjob be, really? I mean, I bet with a bit of practice – whoa! Halt! What the eff am I thinking? I totally am a slut, aren't I? I look up at Edward from the middle of my thoughts to see he's been saying something. Oh, look at the delicious way his mouth curls and smoothes to form those words.

"Bella, I've lost you, haven't I?" That I hear, because I realize it's a smile his mouth as now formed into. And not just any smile, his lovely- no, _my_ lovely crooked grin of his. He's not mad at me anymore! Okay, well he seems to really be fighting that smile, but I can at least see he's cooled down a little. "I was saying that we shouldn't do it here, come over to my house."

I think Edward is the only one who never gets annoyed when I get lost in my thoughts. My closest friends are used to me drifting off into my own world, but I can tell they get a little peeved sometimes when I totally zone out whatever they're saying. I feel bad, but I really can't help it. Edward knows this – Edward knows me.

"Well, um, your house?" I wasn't exactly sure about going back to the scene of the crime, per say. Then again, if you really think about it, it didn't entirely matter where The Incident had occurred, because lots of other 'incidents' had occurred everywhere else. I am one step from freaking out here, aren't I? "Sure, yes, let's go. Now? Yes, we'll go now."

"Bella," His voice was soothing and his hands came up to grasp my shoulders, stopping me from falling into another over-thinking bit. He seemed at a loss for what to say at first, and I can't speak for him, but I was entirely too aware of this contact. "It's just me." Which was true. Edward and I had handled everything together.

I bit my bottom lip, thinking to myself this couldn't really be the worst possible thing. He didn't seem completely opposed to me, which meant our friendship was still going strong, right? We would talk, I would try my best not to cry, and things would go back to the way they were. Edward would always be my best friend; nobody knew me better than he did, and nobody knew him better than I did.

I stared back up at him when I felt his hands tighten and then drop away from me completely. He took a step back like he had earlier, and I couldn't help but wonder when we'd gotten so close again. "Bella," Oh no, he sounded frustrated again, yet there was a begrudging smile once again on his face. "You are very hard to resist when you look so kissable."

My face went up in flames as I struggled for a response. Alright, I'm going with my fall back plan. "You're not hard to resist at all." I stuck my tongue out at him childishly and realized what I'd just said probably had to be the biggest lie ever. Whatever, considering that smirk on his face at my remark, he could use a few hits to the mighty big ego of his.

"Keep telling yourself that, Bella," He responded teasingly, leading us toward his Volvo. I guess my truck would have a new home for the night. And how could we joke so easily about something that we'd recently discovered was true? Would our new compromise go back to pretending we'd never kissed, but still allowing ourselves to joke about it? Could I do that?

Yeah, I guess I could. I'd been doing much the same thing ever since my feelings for Edward first surfaced.

"The only thing I'll be telling myself is that maybe someday you'll get over these delusions of yours." He laughed at me, not even bothering to respond to my attack. I rolled my eyes, mostly for my own benefit. He was always laughing off jibes that I threw at him, even though when it was the other way around I was always one to rise to the challenge. Then again, maybe he just knew better.

….

"Oh, Bella!" Esme was always thrilled to see me, regardless of our first meeting in the woods where I'd almost killed her only son. I think it's because I let her be the domestic housewife with me. Her job was a real snazzy interior designer, so she didn't often get to cook the dinners and do the laundry. But whenever she was in the mood for it, I always let her teach me stuff I could've taught her – and probably better.

Edward called it our 'bonding time' because it was usually just the two of us folding clothes, drying dishes, making cupcakes. To be honest, I think both him and his sister appreciated me for it because neither of them was going anywhere near the oven or the washing machine. Secretly, I was thrilled to spend this time with a normal mom.

Esme was my 'normal mom' in a sense. Besides, she was always finding new recipes she would bring to me to try – and she was always over-ambitious in her choices. Still, it was fun trying and I absolutely loved cooking and baking. Esme always said anything we made was two percent her work and ninety-eight percent mine. I'd always deny this claim but it was the truth.

"We missed you the other day for dinner, Edward said you were going to stay," She shot him an accusing look, and I warily glanced at him over my shoulder. Nope, he was fine, grinning and shrugging away his mother's light reprimanding. Well, okay, I have clearly shown that I can do the whole avoiding the issue thing.

"I forgot I had to—" It was too weird and so I stopped dead in the middle of my sentence. I couldn't lie to Esme, even if it was a so-called white lie. "I mean, sorry I couldn't stay," I felt Edward's stare on the back of my head, but before things got too awkward Esme cleared her throat and ushered me toward her in her usual warm hug.

"Well, that's alright dear, just stay tonight, alright?" I breathed in deeply and couldn't help but feel at home. Sure, Charlie was great, and I really did love him, but the feeling I got here, with the Cullen family, was unlike any feeling I had ever experienced.

"She will, she will," Edward pecked his mother on the cheek quickly, only to drag me away unceremoniously. I didn't know if he should be making such promises considering the talk we were about to have – I kind of have this problem with running away, in case you hadn't noticed.

"Edward," I whined as I usually did when the task of three flights of stairs came before us. "Why can't you live on the first floor?" He rolled his eyes at me probably wondering why after so many years of our friendship I still felt the need to complain about the mini-workout. Or maybe he was wondering how I hadn't gotten in better shape by now from it, because I sure was.

"You are such a baby," This was the usual type of thing Edward said after my whining, but it was not usual for him to crouch down in front of me and simply say, "Get on." I stared at him while he rolled his eyes. "Come on, Bella, I bet I could run up these stairs with you on my back faster than we could walk up them."

"No, Edward," I backed away from him uncomfortably. A piggy-back ride, really? "I'm not going to get on you and make you carry me up three flights of stairs. I walk up them all the time." You'd think this logic would come to me during my complaining, but obviously not. Sometimes a girl just needs to moan and groan about her problems right? I didn't expect him to actually want to do anything about it.

"Exactly, wouldn't you want to take a break just this once?" He really did have a way of twisting logic to trick me into things. His question really did sound reasonable, didn't it? Eh, maybe it's just me. "Seriously, Bella," Stupid crooked grin.

"Well, I mean, I guess just this once," I mumbled, awkwardly wrapping my arms around his neck from the back. The boy certainly was spoilt and I have reason to believe it's all my fault. With his charm and good looks, Edward didn't have much trouble getting what he wanted. And while I liked to think I could usually see through his bullshit, he still was the only person I couldn't say no to.

I'm sure Edward meant the whole thing as completely innocent, but of course I felt like a pervert when my legs wrapped around his waist. Plus, considering my face was right next to his, his smell was making me dizzy. What _was_ that? Sandalwood… underlying cinnamon… vaguely woodsy… and a hint of citrus? If I could bottle the essence of Edward to have at my disposal I think I might be able to die a happy woman.

"Um, Bella?" Edward's voice alerted not only that we were already up one flight of stairs (seemingly with no trouble), but that I'd unknowingly rested my head against his shoulder, slightly burrowing my face into the side of his neck.

"S-sorry, I think I'm tired," I stammered slightly but did my best not to move from this new delicious spot – besides relaxing there and breathing in his warm scent kind of had made me drowsy. And let me just add the footnote that Edward's neck was my favorite neck ever. Um, yeah, I'm going to blame that word vomit (thought vomit?) on sleepiness.

"Well, I mean…" He trailed off as he took a deep breath and I was surprised to feel a slight tremor run through his body. His hands tightened on my thighs making me tighten my own hold around his neck. It was nice to be against him even though I desperately wished it was my front to his front instead of his back. See, I _am_ a pervert.

Suddenly he was dropping his hold on me causing me to stumble to catch my footing, but then that wasn't too much of a problem because he had me pressed up against his door, effectively making my need for stable legs unnecessary. I looked up slightly dazed – although wide awake now – into his smoldering eyes. Oh god, now why did he have to do that?

He pressed his lips to mine roughly and I thought for a moment – but… no. No. I wasn't doing this – I _couldn't _do this anymore. He pulled back abruptly, and I breathed a sigh of relief that I wouldn't have to find it in me to push him away. Except when I released that breath, it came out in shudder, an almost hiccup of pain. I refused to cry.

"Isa-" His brows furrowed deeper, "I mean, Bella, please don't cry," I was not going to cry. And why the hell didn't he call me Isabella? Why couldn't I be Isabella and he be make out Edward? Why couldn't we be together in that why? "I'm sorry, I thought… I'm such a fucking idiot. I hate seeing you cry."

"I'm not fucking crying!" I sputtered, ignoring his hands on my face, his thumbs rubbing away tears that were, in fact, there. I shoved him away, probably a bit too harshly, and wiped my face haphazardly, not really doing anything to clear the evidence of my tears. "I can't kiss you, Edward,"

His eyes seemed even more impossibly hurt at my shove than from when I'd run away earlier this afternoon. He didn't retreat any further from the spot he'd been shoved, but he didn't try to regain the ground either. This was not at all how this talk was supposed to go. Why is it that things never go as you plan them?

"You have a girlfriend," I closed my eyes to try and figure out what I wanted to say. And maybe a part of me was too scared to do this, at least not while facing him. I hate confrontation. "I'm not doing it anymore – it kills me that I allowed it to go on so long in the first place."

"Bella," The command in his voice forced me to snap my eyes open and stare at him. He seemed confused, angry, and anguished all at once, the furrow between his two eyebrows the deepest I ever remember seeing it. "Bella, I don't have a girlfriend."

I stared at him unblinkingly, torn between confusion and anger as to why he would lie. How could he think I wouldn't remember Tanya? I can't look that stupid, can I?

"I'm not lying, Bella," I'd never hated my name so much in that moment – it seemed he couldn't help repeating it because it was obvious I was not following. "Tanya and I broke up almost a whole two weeks ago – I think it was the day or two after I told you about Chicago."

What?!

"I wouldn't do that to you, Bella," He took a step forward, his eyes trying to convey this truth – truth? – I was still trying to process at the moment. "I mean, at first I guess I kind of did it to you, but for this long? There would be no way I could string Tanya along if we were… well, when we were doing… what we were doing."

_What?!_

"Bella, I'm single," He seemed to rethink this for a moment, and I made a quick mental note to laugh on that later. "I mean, I think." And that's what it came down to in the end? If Tanya was out of the picture – had been out of the picture – what were Edward and I classified as? Wait a minute!

"You didn't think you breaking up with your longest-lasting girlfriend was something you might tell me?" Don't ask me why I felt the need to stop the flow of the current conversation to figure out why I'd not been informed of this major news. Except that I was goddamn pissed! How dare he not tell me? "The whole… thing – Incident – _incidents_ aside… as your best friend, I most definitely should have been informed, don't you think?!"

"You didn't know?" Add on amusement to the list of emotions running across his face. "I don't know how you could not know – everybody else knows." Was he trying to make me feel better with that talk? He seemed to see the bad road he was heading down and bewilderment crossed his face. This was becoming a long list. "How could you not know? Everyone can't shut up about it. And wait, Tanya told me she talked to you."

"Oh," Well, in my defense, she hadn't really come right out and said it, had she? Replaying our conversation in my head I realized I should've known the instant Tanya wasn't less than a bitch to me that something had to be majorly different. The only way someone like Tanya would've ever been so decent to the 'competition' would be if she'd already lost, if she'd been trying to save her pride. You know, actually, that whole conversation makes a lot more sense knowing this.

"There, you've stopped crying, that's good," I swatted his head away as he poked my cheek, still obviously laughing at my not having known. Suddenly, it dawned on me – the library! I'd basically cut myself off from the gossip brigade by going there the past couple of weeks and I guess Alice and Rose hadn't told me because they assumed I'd known.

"But, but," There was a reason I was angry at Edward, and it wasn't just him trying not to openly laugh in my face. "But you still should have told me yourself! I don't even know why you broke up with her or how you did it. Usually you would ask my opinion on things like that, or you'd at least get my advice on how to do it. I never even knew you were thinking about breaking up with her."

"But," It was his turn to be at a loss for words and I felt a distinct satisfaction watching all traces of amusement leave his face. "How could you not? With what was going on between us, how could I keep up a real relationship with Tanya? I wasn't even really spending time with her; I was ignoring her calls, ditching her when she tried to set up dates. Ever since that first kiss I was an absolute terror of a boyfriend."

It seemed we were still skirting the whole issue. Why couldn't either of us just say what we had done? I swallowed and bit my bottom lip, trying to find the courage in me to do this…Whether I was ready or not (would I truly ever be?) I was done running. We were going to talk about it – about _every_thing? About how I was in love with him?

"Edward," He seemed to feel the shift in tone, his attention was fully and completely on me, and like always he waited for me to make the first move. Maybe it had been me who had first kissed him on his porch. "We kissed, we made out, we almost… we would've went further if I had known about Tanya."

I wanted to faint; I literally felt dizzy standing there in the middle of his room staring into his intent emerald gaze. I lowered my sight and watched his lips part, waiting for what he would say; for once I watched his mouth with complete innocence. Okay, _most_ of me did anyway. "Yes."

That's it? Boys were so complicated, why was it that they acted like you had to chain them up and torture them to get a simple full sentence when it counted? A lot of times Edward said he'd give anything to be able to read my mind when I got off in a tangent or when I smiled secretly to myself, but at this moment, I just wished to have the ability to mind read for a few seconds.

"Edward, you're the one that wanted to talk," I reminded him sternly, feeling foolish about my admitting I would've gone further now. Maybe that comment was what had freaked him out. I turned from him to sit stiffly on his black couch, if only to have something to do. This also gave me the excuse to not have to stare at his face, instead I stared somewhere between his collarbones and his neck.

"Bella, I don't know what I'm doing here," He sighed, bringing a hand through his hair, sounding as if he was very frustrated by this fact. But really, what did that even mean? I waited, wanting him to have to suffer a bit considering it was about time he learned how to share his feelings without a push every step from me. "You're my best friend."

Those stupid words were the bane of my existence. It sounds like I'm being dramatic, but it's not often a sentiment can fill you with such warmth and such hurt so equally. My gaze traveled from his neck down his left shoulder to the door and the desk, blinking so rapidly in the process it'd take an idiot to not be able to tell I was trying not to cry. I'd cried enough for one afternoon in my own opinion.

"I can't lose that, but I also can't deny that I really, _really_ like kissing you," I guess I could take comfort in the fact that the physical connection and spark was not my own imagining, at the very least. But really, what did all this mean? Did he want me in all the ways I wanted him? "Isabella,"

My eyes snapped up to meet his at the unforgiving sound of voice he'd said my full name with. I watched his eyes as he came near me, a swirl of seriousness, conviction, and slight desperation. He sat next to me, never losing my gaze, and brushing the opposite side of my arm with his hand. The action caused a spark to awake my body and begin my lungs' normal functioning. I'd forgotten to breathe once again.

"I'm stuck, Isabella," For a moment he looked just like he had when we were little kids, lost and unafraid to show his weakness, if only to me. "I cannot enter a relationship with you in the traditional sense and yet I want one in the most physical of ways." I was not following his logic. Was he trying to tell me he just wanted to fuck me?

Because that has got to be the most Dickward move ever.

"I'm trying to be honest here, Bella," He was trying alright, but what with his words and name deviations I was having a tough time trying to interpret. No wonder boys don't share their feelings – it does not clear up any matters at all. "I refuse to enter a relationship I'm almost positive will fail, but on the opposite spectrum I can't be sure I'm strong enough to resist kissing you… touching you…"

It's a good thing he left it at that because I might've tried the right hook Charlie had taught me recently for defense. I don't know if Edward thought that was flattering (and I guess deep, deep, _deep_ down I got a kind of thrill that I effected him so strongly), but there wasn't any other way I could take that besides offensive. And destined to fail? He'd just destined our relationship to fail, really?

I couldn't even really be hurt over the fact that he didn't share my own feelings of the kind of love I felt, because I'd known all along he could never feel that way about me, but in a way it solidified that hurt in a way that made all hope die. In an irrational thought, I suddenly thought of how glad I was I had never confessed to him.

"Bella, please say something – I can't… I can't explain it any better than that." His hand touched my knee and I was surprised at the reflex reaction I had to jerk away. I didn't want him to feel like I was tempting him or trying to 'make it hard for him to resist me' or anything. And hell yes, I'll be bitter if I want to.

My temper was coming on fast, and I knew if I didn't do something to stop this – to retreat in a healthy manner this time – I was going to do something I would most likely regret. Besides, my head was pounding at all the twists and contradictions of Edwards words. I looked up at him to try and find a something on his face that showed I'd heard his ridiculous words wrong.

He had recoiled slightly into himself at my knee-jerk and I couldn't even feel very sorry. Sure, I felt bad at the pain in his eyes, but that pain was nothing compared to the pain I'd had the past several _years_ knowing I was in love with someone who could never love me back. So, whatever, he can grow up for all I care.

"That's just… Do you think I'm going to say we can go back to the schizophrenia bullshit that's so confusing I thought about going out and buying fucking nametags?" I could tell I wasn't making sense to him – Ha, see how he liked it! – but I was past giving a damn. Besides, I'm pretty sure my cussing was enough to inform him I was angry.

"Damn it," He groaned, his eyes almost turning wild as I stood up abruptly, a step from pacing the room. I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself. "I knew I shouldn't have… I don't think you're getting it – I don't even think I'm getting it."

I tuned him out and ignored the way he tugged roughly at his auburn locks, as frustrated as I was mad. I turned to him, grabbing his shoulder to make him look at me. My hand tightened unconsciously as I had a quick internal debate of whether violence really couldn't come into this. "I… I don't even know what to say to that, Edward."

Except that you're a complete douche bag at the moment and if I didn't love you so damn much I'd be out of this house in an instant.

"I need time to… to…" I sighed, shaking my head at him, even as his most remorseful look ever made up his features. "I'm not dealing with this right now; I'm going downstairs for dinner. Let's forget this thing ever happened and maybe I'll figure out what to say to you tomorrow."

I didn't even wait for a response. I just calmly walked downstairs and went to find Esme to see if she needed any help finishing dinner. For once when I tried not to think of Edward and agonize over what had just occurred, I had no trouble.

At that moment though, I was just glad to get away from him – see if these lips ever tempt _him_ again.

**Author's Note – **I know it's been a long time but I really got so busy! And I'm still going to be pretty busy until the end of May, so don't expect anything till the first week or two of June. Anyways, let me know what you guys think with a review or come stop by the forum on Twilighted. Thanks.


	9. Bright Idea

**You Belong With Me**

**By: emeraldgrl**

**Chapter Nine : Bright Idea**

I could not remember ever being this mad at Edward. When he had tried to subconsciously cuddle this morning at the crack of dawn, I had shoved him away because I couldn't stand the feeling in my stomach. I had to get up from the lost comforts of my bed, because really, I had never been so uncomfortable.

It didn't feel right anymore.

So it was with that thought, and possibly a helping from the lack of sleep, that I was feeling incredibly irritable to anything and everything around me. Edward hadn't pushed the issue, since he had woken up alone in my bed, and I could hardly look at him, but he had made himself surprisingly available for whenever I felt ready to finally give him my answer.

He seemed to be always just a step behind me, following at my heels, staring at me with his hopeful face – it was really pissing me off. Besides, even after a night and a full morning, my answer still lay along the realms of 'Fuck you, Edward Cullen – and no, this is not an acceptance to your charming request.' So, really, I had nothing to say to him yet.

Alice and Rosalie were giving me weird looks, obviously wanting an explanation regarding mine and Edward's odd behavior, but I was scared. I really had missed them in the past month or so – the secret _thing_ going on between Edward and I had really taken the closeness out of my friendship with my two best girlfriends because I couldn't tell them.

Was I ready to tell them, though? I didn't want to know what they would think of me, considering I'd been Friends with Benefits and the Other Woman _and _had not felt the need to inform either of them. I was turning into a terrific friend, wasn't I? I'd become one of those girls I hated. The friend we all have that is only your friend when there isn't a boy involved – the friend that put her boy first no matter what.

I knew no matter what happened between Edward and me, I needed to tell them. Besides, they'd been decoding their boyfriends' emotions for a while now; maybe they could help me figure Edward out. Or, at the very least, help me bash his skull in during the night. Oh, wow, that was very aggressive.

Probably because it was lunch time now, and I couldn't escape to the library like I had been doing for the past week, seeing as how Edward had taken it upon himself to become permanently attached to a three foot radius of me. There'd be no point to go to the library if the sanctuary would be stolen by Edward anyways.

"Bella," It was relatively quiet in the loud cafeteria, but it seemed as soon as my name left his lips, the entire place fell quiet. I lifted an eyebrow just a fraction, mildly surprised that he had the gall to speak to me when I hadn't addressed him first. Why did he feel the need to say something now, when he hadn't tried to say anything in the past twelve hours or so?

I didn't respond, because then I realized a hush _had_ fallen over the cafeteria at our entrance. What the hell? In a town as small as Forks, when one dramatic event occurred the whole place had nothing else to rave on about for a week – sometimes two. Had I missed the dramatic event?

Glancing all around me, it dawned on me that perhaps Edward and I had become the dramatic event. But no, there was no way they could know anything about what had been secretly transpiring between the two of us. Still, the way they stared unnerved me, and I found myself shrinking back closer to Edward, despite my better judgement.

This action alone caused the cafeteria noise to rise to its usual level, but I could tell by the repeated hasty glances my way that I had become the topic of discussion somehow. There was a light pressure on my back, from Edward, not that I was acknowledging that, as I was lead toward the beaming faces of the rest of our group of friends – I hadn't even realized I'd stopped dead in my tracks.

"What the hell is going on?" I asked as soon as I was deposited into my usual seat. I was on the receiving end of six incredulous stares. I blinked back at Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, Angela, and Ben, all who looked at me like I'd said something ridiculous. I couldn't tell if Edward was as confused as me, because I still couldn't find it in me to even look at his face – and I hated that I wanted to so badly now.

"Everyone thinks you've been sleeping with Edward," Leave it to Rosalie to bluntly lay it all on the table. I'm sure my face was a mixture of embarrassment, horror, and a tiny bit of guilt (I almost _did_ sleep with Edward), but of course my gut reaction was to laugh. Except in this instance it was a strained sort of gurgle that came out of my throat, immediately prompting Alice to lift an eyebrow at me. Oh god, she knew!

"You know Forks, Bella, bunch of town-gossiping crazies," Ben said reassuringly, stealing a slice of pizza from Angela's tray. "As soon as Edward broke up with Tanya, Tanya moved back to her old table, and you disappeared suspiciously from the cafeteria – rumors were made and spread."

No wonder Edward had thought I had known about his break-up; he must've thought I was avoiding the cafeteria because I was afraid Tanya might rip out my hair because she had figured out a long time ago that it was more than just a friendship between Edward and me. It also dawned on me suddenly that this must've been what James had been insinuating the past few days. Who knew missing lunch could cause so much confusion?

Seeing as I wasn't really talking to Edward, the kids soon got bored of looking for any sign of truth to the rumors that must've been spread between me and Edward. By the end of lunch, Forks students had been resigned to the notion that the drama started and ended solely on the break-up, not a new hook-up. Although, my own table now had reason to believe something _was_ up, considering I hadn't said much and I hadn't even glanced at Edward (well, mostly).

I did my best to ignore the curious stares from Alice and Rosalie, knowing they were trying to communicate through their eyes with me, which I wasn't having much of because all I could really feel was exhausted. I was so tired of being stared at, being prodded with incessant questions, and those god damn pitiful eyes Edward kept making at me.

I really just wanted to go home and sleep. At least in my dreams everything was easy and uncomplicated. Granted, I am the one who so royally screwed up so much of the mess I was in, but that's neither here nor there.

Fortunately, the day was going by pretty fast without me having to really talk to anyone; unfortunately, this came to an immediate halt when Journalism class came around and I was forced to endure James' snide comments. While I was sure the rumors were coming to a stop between Edward's and mine non-interaction today, I was sure if anyone was looking for more material James had plenty to spare.

Not only that, but Mrs. C had decided that today would be interview day, for "practice", and somehow me and James had ended up paired off. What was it with me having totally awful partner luck? I was content to let my mind wander and do my best at tuning James out, but of course he had other plans.

"Ladies first?" He waited only a beat before continuing, scooting his chair closer to mine, "No, well then, I do happen to have some questions of my own." I uncrossed my legs and crossed my arms; clearly showing him I wasn't interested in talking. Interview day was a joke just like everything else Mrs. C thought of for her class. "Let's start with… Were you and Edward fucking behind Tanya's back, or was it more of a kinky threesome kind of thing?"

I was extremely disgusted, and for a moment I wished Edward was there to save me from James' complete asshole-ness, but then I remembered I hated when Edward got all caveman and besides that, I wasn't exactly talking to him. "James, I've got a question for you – why are you such a dick?"

He only laughed at my response and I felt stupid for even trying to get him back. It seemed the days I did stand up for myself or retaliate he only got more of a kick out of it, and I wondered if Edward was right about my 'angry kitten' expression whenever I tried to express anger. Except my rage was fueled by more than just James, so I knew if he kept pushing it, I'd probably do something drastic.

"Now, now, Bella, I asked first. What, no comment? Okay, how about… Did Edward really satisfy you?" He was too close and he was creeping me out. I made a move to push my chair back, but then his hand was gripping the edge, making my movements futile. "What are you so afraid of Bella? I know you can feel this thing between us. I can fulfill your every desire."

Then his other hand was on my thigh, and other than the incessant rambling in my head of '_oh god, oh god, oh god_', I only had one thing on my mind. My hand was reaching palm up, toward his nose on a face that was more feral than I'd ever seen. Just when I thought I had effectively surprised him, his sudden grip on my wrist was crushing and made me feel stupid. James had always been harmless, but now, now he was really _hurting _me.

"No?" He sneered at me, and the only thing I could think was that things like this don't really happen. The disturbing and in a way cliché things he had said, I'd only seen in movies – not in the middle of the last period of a regular high school day. "You're not worth it anyway." And he shoved me away and made his exit, without even a glance from the other students (who were too busy surfing the internet on the many computers) and the teacher (who was due for her daily nap).

My wrist throbbed slightly as I cradled it in my other hand, my head trying to keep up with the sudden departure and realization that my heart was pounding. I had no clue what had gotten into James, this was a whole new level of scary and threatening. So when the bell rang, and Edward sauntered in like a kicked dog to come get me, I didn't think when I threw my arms around him.

He froze, and tried to pull back, wanting to look at my face I knew, but I held him tighter, embarrassed and confused as to the tears pricking at the back of my eyes. Luckily, no actual tears were shed, but I was surprised, and in some ways, expectant, of the comfort I felt from Edward when I was still so very angry and hurt over everything that had recently happened.

"We should go," I mumbled against his chest, pulling away from his embrace, even as I heard him sigh in frustration. Whatever, he didn't get to be angry. I wasn't even all that angry anymore. Now it was more of just a burning pit in my stomach that made me feel weak and sad. Was I really the only one out of the two of us that felt this… pull? This perfectness that was Edward and Bella?

Oh god, I sounded like James, didn't I? _"I know you can feel this thing between us."_ Maybe this thing in my stomach was me feeling literally sick, not figuratively. I ignored Edward's call of my name and headed at a faster pace toward my truck, glad to be heading home.

On second thought, home really was pointless seeing as how Edward was following me home in his Volvo. I was in no mood to fight and send him home, knowing he'd just come back at night anyway, so I changed my tactic, and decided not to head home. It wasn't until I passed into La Push territory, and realized the absence of Edward in my rear view mirror, that I knew unconsciously deciding to visit Jacob was a good idea.

Granted, he was no Alice or Rosalie, but I wasn't really in the mood to deal with the guilty confession that I knew must happen before I could get back on true friend terms with them. I wanted something easier, something uncomplicated to be honest. Jacob had always been that way, friends since almost birth because of Charlie and Billy's friendship, and care-free in a way I always secretly wished I could be.

"Bella!" Of course the ruckus of my truck was un-disguisable and Jacob had come to greet me. That's one of the good things about small towns, a call first was unheard of, and the doors of your neighbors and friends were always open. "Bella, what the hell are you doing here? You should've called first!"

Jacob's really good at making me look stupid.

He ushered me, very rudely might I add, into the garage where he seemed to be working on something if I can make the assumption by the grease all over his arms and face. "Leah has enough reasons to think I'm dating you – and your truck is loud as hell to announce to the whole town you're at my house! I bet that snitch Ami is calling her right now…"

I'd lost him already. "Jacob, Jake," I called half-heartedly, trying to make myself comfortable on the grungy couch in the corner of the garage. When I turned back to him, he was right next to me, his eager face peering deep into my own face, just about making my heart sputter to a halt. "Jesus! Don't _do _that, you idiot!"

"Something is wrong," He said, ignoring my outburst, but still checking my face for whatever he was looking for. I almost smiled; glad to have some semblance of normalcy in such a crazy, awful day. Jacob was reliable for making me want to smile in the worst circumstances. Usually, he wasn't really so perceptive, but I guess he'd been tipped off by my unplanned arrival – it'd been ages since I'd been here without Charlie.

I started to tell him about James, about how I'd been literally shaking before Edward had arrived and snapped my pitiful body out of it. I don't know why, but I didn't. Instead, all I could say was, "Edward doesn't like when I visit you."

"I should've known it was about Edward," Jacob sighed to himself, rolling his eyes, "You know I think my problem with Leah is almost as bad as your problem with Edward – we're both crazy and irrational." He laughed to himself, grinning at me broadly. It was the first time Jacob had acknowledged the weird thing he had with Leah, and I wondered if maybe Jacob actually liked the different way Leah and he were together. It was unique, that was for certain.

"I don't really want to talk about it," I said to myself, tucking my legs underneath me and resting my head on top of my arms that I wrapped around the arm of the sofa. Jacob only rolled his eyes again and immediately went back to whatever he must've been doing before I had arrived. I heard a lot of tinkering, clacking, and cursing.

Just before I thought it was going to be a night of me disinterestedly observing Jacob do God-knows-what on his motorcycle while he ignored me, he gave me a look suddenly and said, "I know it sounds queer, but sometimes I write letters to Leah to let me say truthfully what I really want – she never gets them, because they're mostly for me, you know?"

He went back to work right away, but I could tell that there seemed to be less cursing when I found a receipt balled up between cushions and a crappy pen near the sofa and started writing.

_Dear Edward,_

This of course came after me scribbling all over the back of the wrinkled yellow thing because the pen didn't seem to want to work at first. It kicked in near the bottom, leaving an angry black splotch near where a signature would go. I directed my thoughts toward Edward, trying to think of what I would say if I could say anything.

_I think you're an ass. A major one. _

I hesitated, knowing these were things I wouldn't have any trouble telling him, the next lines would be harder. And even though the real Edward would get them, speaking to hypothetical Edward still made me nervous as I wrote the next lines.

_So how am I still in love with you? Our parents and our friends said we were perfect for each other for so long that I began to think it was true myself. Now I'm beginning to realize that maybe you're the only one who has got it right – that we really aren't meant for one another._

I felt stupid, partially because I wrote to the imaginary Edward and partially because it was so true. Maybe Edward and I only worked well together when we were in best friend mode. True love mode was something I'd become convinced would work only because we knew each other so well. Knowing someone really well couldn't be the only factor in such a huge thing though.

_I guess the only good thing that came out of me trying to start something more, was me finding out at least I'm a good kisser._

What a joke. I still can't believe that dickhead said that to my face. Sure, I wanted my relationship with Edward to be physical, but not _only_ physical. Jackass.

_I wish_

I paused, unsure of what I really wanted now. My mood was changing faster than a pregnant lady's, and my switch from angry to sad, back to angry again was making me almost dizzy. I scratched out in a smooth line the first two words, not knowing how to continue that phrase just yet.

_I guess I realize how selfish I was being, to want you as more than a best friend, when that already means so much to me. _

I suddenly thought about my application to Arizona, feeling bad for a deceit that I was only coming clean to for the imaginary Edward I was now writing to.

_I'm sorry for never telling you about Arizona- I'm starting to finally figure out that even if things had happened how my pessimistic side had imagined them, I could've never left you to go somewhere else so far away. _

And it really was true. I guess a part of me had always secretly thought that everything would work out alright in the end, that there really would be no need to go to Arizona. Even though I had planned it, I had never really _planned_ on it, if you know what I mean.

There wasn't much space left, but I knew I only had one more thing left to say. The one thing I truly wished.

_I wish_ _I could make you see that we really were made for each other._

I must have said that last part aloud, because suddenly I remembered where I was when Jacob answered back, "What'd you say, Bells?" He sounded far off though, and I said it aloud again, more for myself.

"I wish I could make you see that we really were made for each other." And like hearing the answer after you struggle so hard on the problem and you realize how stupid you were being, you see how simple it all really is. I jumped up, stuffing the receipt in the front pocket of my jeans. "That's _it_, Jake!" He peeked his dark head over the seat, wondering how my mood had shifted so fast I was almost giddy.

My phone was in my hand before I knew it as I excitedly skipped around Jacob's garage, while he tried to once again ignore me. (I stopped skipping when I almost fell over a wrench that went skittering into a nearby pile of old wood, sending a cautious wave of sound to Jacob's ears, and making him give me a stern look effectively ending my need to skip.)

_I need to talk to you guys. _ I sent texts to both Alice and Rosalie simultaneously, a part of me slightly afraid to hear their wrath after I told them the truth, but a stronger part of me wanting their help as well. Their responses were quick and I knew they must've been waiting for me to tell them what the hell was wrong with me today. What was wrong with me for the past couple of days, actually.

_Meet at Rosie's?,_ from Alice.

_Get your ass over here then_, from Rosalie.

I was in my truck the next instant, giving a quick kiss to Jake's cheek, and pulling out of his driveway the next instant. Things were happening so fast, and for the first time all day I felt a weird sense of hope. Maybe I could change things. Sure, Edward needed to be taught a lesson for the Dickward part he was acting, but he was still the Edward I knew and loved. I was going to fight for him, I was going to teach him, and I was going to have fun doing it all.

Hopefully.

Alice made it to Rosalie's house before me, seeing as how she wasn't way out in La Push, and they were both pulling me from both arms into the Hale house and up to Rosalie's room almost before I even had a chance to turn off the engine. I let them drag me though, grinning ear to ear stupidly at both of them. They gave me repeated glances, even shooting looks at each other, which they probably thought I wasn't noticing.

"Did you sleep with Jacob Black?" Rosalie asked as soon as we were all seated on the floor of her room. I started laughing hysterically at the absurd question, only having strength for shaking my head at them. I couldn't help but notice their synchronized relieved looks. It made me laugh again, and they (somewhat) patiently waited for it to die down.

"Did you sleep with Edward?" This question was asked by Alice, and I'm not sure if it was my shock at her uncharacteristic bluntness over that kind of question or if it was the closeness to the actual truth that made me gasp. But it was the wrong reaction because they both squealed, quite loudly I might add, Alice tackling me to the floor.

"Wait, wait, wait," I struggled to sit up once again. "I am still a virgin!" Rosalie simply lifted an eyebrow at me while Alice seemed confused. "I did not have sex with Edward, or anybody for that matter," I clarified seriously, marveling to myself at how even though I hadn't talked to my gal pals in forever, they seemed to almost nail it on the head within seconds of trying to get it all off my chest.

"But you did make out, right?" Okay, well, I guess they did nail it. Rosalie and Alice really had a gift.

"You guys are incredible," I left out a breath I didn't know I was holding – there goes my breathing again – and held up my hand calmly as Rosalie started to say more, and Alice looked just as eager to share her own news. "Okay, I've got a long story to tell you guys, and one apology for each of you for waiting so long to share it. So no interruptions until I can get through it all and until I can tell you the new game plan. You'll love it, I'm sure, so just be quiet for a few minutes, got it?"

They both nodded obediently, Rosalie rolling her eyes at my dramatics. So I told them. Everything. And I do mean _everything_. Probably more than there really wanted to hear when I was describing the greatness that was the physical side of Edward and my interactions in the past weeks. And then they comforted me when I shamefully admitted to my home-wrecking whore antics, gasped in the right places when I told them about Edward's plan for college, chuckled when I told them when I finally figured out Tanya and he had broken up (way late compared to them), and then comforted me all over again when I told them about the final conversation between Edward and I.

Luckily, because of all that had happened, they easily pushed aside my apologies to them about me going "missing" to our friendship in certain ways. The only words they wanted to hear from my lips were why the hell I was so happy after this and what my brilliant plan I promised was going to be.

"I'm going to show him we're perfect for each other, of course." I said simply, smirking in spite of the incredulous looks I got from the both of them. "No, listen. I'll just like subtly show ways that I'm the one, you know? Like, I'll cook for him – he loves when I feed him. Or like, I'll bring up things that show my intellect is on his level – he's always saying how he gets so annoyed by stupid girls."

"Bella…" I stopped my rambling, suddenly unsure as I stared at my two friends. But then Alice's face started to transform in a smile that now matched my own, and I felt my giddiness returning full strength. "Bella, that's genius! I can't believe I never thought of it! Rosalie, don't you think Bella's finally really showing some fight for this thing?"

Rosalie's pretty face smirked as her mouth formed the word, "Absolutely." _Yes_. I knew I had the most brilliant idea! "I'll get the Cosmo –amen – and you get a notepad and pen. We're going to make a list, girls!"

"A list?" I asked, suddenly overwhelmed by the matching glint in their eye. "Wait a minute, I meant this as like a quick update thing. I mean, obviously Edward already has to know these things about me. There's no need to make a list – it's just like three things or so that make me and Edward perfect." Of course my protests fell on deaf ears.

"Okay, cooking, intellect…" Alice scribbled down in her cute loopy writing, not flinching (unlike me) when Rosalie dropped a huge stack of Cosmopolitan publications in the middle of our circle. "Hmm, sense of humor, you two are always laughing together when no one else gets it. Fitting in with his family, guys secretly eat that crap up."

"Oh, that is good. You should put down confidence and sense of adventure, those are always good traits guys love." Rosalie called from over a speedy flip-through of one of the many magazines.

"Confidence? Guys we're talking about me, traits that are _me_ and let him know I fit with him." Rosalie spared a glance my way, but shook her head, telling me with a purse of her lips that I should be quiet, but of course I couldn't. "And sense of adventure? What have I ever done that shows I have even an ounce of that?"

"Bella," They both sighed exasperatedly at my sudden rethinking of this whole plan, or at least in what this plan had morphed into. Alice decided to continue, "You're right about wanting to show Edward you two are great together, but you've also got to let him know you're a great catch in the first place. Period. Oh, that reminds me – independence!"

"Maternal instincts, really?" Rosalie mussed to herself, reading something that had the title of _Traits of the Girlfriend Your Guy Wants!_ Alice scribbled away, adding her own and the ones Rosalie read off. "Never nag – I think sometimes what a guys needs is a good nagging. Oh, but this says that a good girl also makes the guy better." Rosalie was now skillfully going through three magazines at once.

"That's a contradiction though. How am I supposed to do both?" What was I even saying – I wasn't going to do either! Agh, this was getting slightly out of hand.

"Bella, what else do you got? The least you could do is help; this was _your_ idea after all." You know, somehow I really don't think it was. But, eh, making a list wouldn't really hurt anything, I guess. It's not like I actually had to follow it.

"Um, well, I guess we all know he likes the physical side," I snorted, not seeing how I could be of any help.

"Oh that is good, Bella," Rosalie acknowledged and I opened my mouth to scoff at that idea, but she continued, barreling past what was supposed to be a joke. "But this says they also like a girl that waits, so write down no sex. Damn, that sucks. Oh, and this one says to let him make the moves. Ah, but this one also says showing off your body to help them along, so to speak, can be a good idea."

"I'm not kissing Edward again until he tells me he wants more than just friends with benefits kind of situation!" Again, deaf ears. Well, I mean, on the other hand, I kind of had been missing kissing Edward… Ugh! Something was seriously wrong with me – I'm dysfunctional!

"Someone deep, but not in that I write poetry and only drink coffee kind of way," Alice mumbled to herself, shooting a smile at Rosalie when she heard the blonde make a sound of encouragement. "Humility is a good trait, you have that Bella. But then you can't be afraid to show a drive for something either. Aggressive!"

"Not too aggressive though, it says they like it when you let them be the man," Rosalie looked like she wanted to make a comment at that one, but then only smiled to herself. "Also, Bella's innocence is perfect, that thing has all the guys weak."

"Not too innocent though, sometimes it's as if he's afraid to rough her up. We've got to show her sexy side too with this list. Oh my god!" She suddenly cried, her eyes brightening further, even though it didn't seem possible. "We get to go shopping! For lingerie for Bellie Bells!"

"Wait a min-" I swear I am totally getting the two of them hearing aids.

"Of course! That'll totally make him want to jump her bones! But don't." She said sternly, turning to me, then hesitated, "Yet."

If I want to go ahead and let him jump my bones, I'm going to let him, damn it. No wait, that wasn't the argument I was going for. "Guys, this list doesn't even sound like me anymore! We want him realizing the existing feelings, not falling harder for this incredible, perfect, _false_ version of me."

Rosalie abruptly shut all open magazines and turned to me just as Alice followed suit and put the pen down with one last quick jot to the bottom. Taking a peek, it was definitely a longer list than I had originally planned. "Bella, listen to me; I mean, really, _listen. _This list isn't just for Edward, okay?"

"Exactly," Alice said, nodding at Rosalie's serious words. "This list is also to make you grow into the best version of you. Sure, maybe some of it won't work, but just by doing it, you'll learn what makes both you and Edward happy. But mostly you. Think of it as a list to help you reach your full potential. A lot of the characteristics on the list you have accomplished, and as for the ones you haven't, you can discover that things you thought you weren't so good at, you really might have a lot of."

"I guess that makes sense," I hoped they weren't just bullshitting me – it was sometimes hard to tell with those two. They seemed sincere, and I guess when it came down to it, I secretly _did_ want to try some of the stuff printed on the list in Alice's cute scrawl. I can't imagine wearing sexy lingerie in front of Edward, but now that I had a sense of his attraction for me (my body at least), I was inspired to see how far it ran. Did he think I was… beautiful?

"Okay, now I've got to go," Alice stood up, prompting the rest of us to rise, me slightly stuck in my own thoughts. It did not go unnoticed. "We should put on the list that Edward likes when you fall off into your own dreamland." I looked at her curiously, my attention coming back at the admission. "Of course you never see the way he looks at you when you're in such a state."

I blushed, causing them both to laugh and Rosalie to say, "Before you go, you also should add that blushing thing of her's – I know he likes that too."

"Shut up," I grumbled, glad my face was already returning to normal. "And how exactly do you expect me to blush on command so that he can realize he likes that about me too?" I asked, thinking I had outsmarted her. Of course, with Rosalie, it was much harder to do than my try.

"Oh, you know, certain situations and topics of discussion always cause that kind of reaction out of you." I stuck my tongue playfully out at her and she did the same after laughing. "Okay, now, out!" In a way, I was definitely ready to leave the room that had caused so much exhaustion. It was as we made our way to the door that I remembered with a shock that I hadn't told them about James and our altercation today.

"I'll send Edward over to your house if he's still moping around the Cullen household – it's been so cheery so far tonight" Alice said brightly, and I pushed aside the story about James, thinking I could just tell them tomorrow. Really, nothing all that bad had happened. And oh yeah, Edward. "Don't look so worried, Bella, just act normally and don't worry about the list yet. Rosalie and I will be like a command center, we'll give you the assignments as we feel you're ready."

Sometimes they went way overboard, but they really were my best girl friends. Before I knew it, I was throwing my arms around both of them, internally surprised at my display of affection, when I wasn't usually the type. They took it in stride though, grinning back at me.

It was too soon that I made it home and saw the Volvo sitting in my driveway. Another check told me Charlie hadn't yet made it home, but Edward had managed to get in, knowing where we hid the spare key. At least he felt comfortable enough to just let himself in. Wait, okay, I will push bitter thoughts like those out of my head. I must forgive Edward for being Dickward sometime.

Edward pulled the door open before I even had to scramble for my keys, and I wondered if it was because he had been waiting nearby or if he had heard my truck from a mile off. He looked at me from beneath his lashes in what was a purely apologetic look, and I realized the majority of me had already forgiven him. What a sap.

"Ugh, Edward, come here," I sighed as I let myself relax against him, smiling to myself at the look of absolute relief on his face. If only he knew what he had in store for him. Hell, I'm not even sure I know what's in store for _me_. It felt so nice to be in his arms, even though we still stood partially outside, caught in the doorway of the front of my home, that I didn't let go quite yet. He was happy to oblige my need for closeness.

"Bella, oh, God, Bella, I'm so, so incredibly-" I stopped him, squeezing him tighter even as he backed away slowly from the door and closed it behind us. No, he didn't get to apologize yet. An apology wouldn't take back the truth that was behind his words from the night before. I didn't doubt the sincerity behind his words in reference to my hurt, but he had been just as sincere when he had tried to explain himself.

"I still don't really know what to say to… to what you said last night," I mumbled against his chest, seeing no point in letting go when I knew he could understand me. I sighed again, breathing back in an air of his delicious purely Edward scent. "But I really missed my best friend today," It had to be the truest words I had spoken all day. "So tonight, everything goes back to normal, well, the exception being that I'm going to stay in your arms because I suddenly find myself extremely tired."

His laugh was low, not his usual bright caliber, but I knew he was in agreement with my words by how he lifted me up into his arms to take me to my room. Usually, I would put up some kind of fit about this, but I really did feel the length of what had been such an eventful day. Besides, his heart beat was a nice constant in my ear, its tempo fitting of a lullaby.

He whispered something as I felt him gently lay me down, but it was lost to me in the dreams that suddenly snatched my conscious mind. The last thing I could even begin to think about was the heat of him next to me before I was truly gone for the night.

**Author's Note- **Alright, now we're getting into the good stuff. The list was what I had in mind for the main plot, but I had to build up to it, otherwise Bella never would have gone for it. Haha. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed the chapter and feel free to leave a review. Now that I'm not so busy I should get into a regular updating schedule and maybe even answer reviews!

Oh, and of course this chapter would not have been possible without my fabulous beta **jliane**!


	10. Playing House

**You Belong With Me**

**By: emeraldgrl**

**Chapter Ten : Playing House**

It's weird how time passing can take you further from the awkward situations you used to feel surrounded by. Suddenly, it's as if the memory fades. You know what happened, you know the other person knows what happened, but you just, _forget_.

You choose to not remember – you push the memories back. I guess it is how you can pass by someone in the hall that you used to share secrets and paint each other's toenails, but now you don't even really acknowledge with more than a nod. It's the effect of time in its strongest form. They say time heals all, but I'm not so sure if time is healing, or just… distancing.

Time is just another word for ignorance. It is how you can also call someone a bad name one day accidentally to their face, then ignore it the next time you see each other, and suddenly it never happened. You know from that day on that the other person knows exactly what you think of them, and they know that everyone really thinks they're a freak, or whatever it was that you called them. If time teaches anything, it's that if you ignore it, then it goes away.

I guess if I were to describe my current mood though it would have to be thoroughly frustrated. How do we let this pretend ignorance continue? It's been more than a month since Edward gave me that little…"proposition" and my best friends and I decided that we would make a list to teach Edward how perfect I am for him.

A month of ignorance.

We hadn't discussed anything about anything, to be quite honest. It was like one morning I woke up and it was like the time in my life before Tanya. Edward was my best friend, we'd never kissed, I hadn't been through a ringer in emotions, and no big scheme was set in motion to convince Edward of anything.

Thanksgiving and Christmas both passed without any life-altering events in between. Midterm exams came and went. James and Tanya, who had seemed to both take on a different role to me, were back to the normal (as normal as they can get at least). It was all very frustrating.

I didn't catch Edward look at me with those irresistible bedroom eyes and I didn't even imagine making a move myself on Edward. Okay, well, I certainly _imagined_, but it was as if suddenly I had forgotten how.

I was about to boil over.

When Alice, Rosalie, and I got together there was no talk of the list we had made or of any plans we had to act them out. I thought about mentioning it, but then two days had passed, then two weeks. I think it was easier to ignore the plans than actually have the guts to try and tell the other two I really wanted to try.

Ignoring is much simpler than actually taking the risk. All of this, of course, did nothing for my self-esteem. I began to wonder if I had fallen into some alternate universe where everyone had forgotten about two months' worth of events. Then I began to wonder if I had made up the whole ordeal.

Then again, it was much easier to get over that, because there was no way I would ever forget the feel of Edward Cullen's lips on mine. Of my best friend's hands roaming my body. Of loving him so strongly and then getting to actually touch him like I had wanted to for so long.

It was sometime in the middle of the first week back to school for the second semester that I stopped ignoring all of this. I spent the whole of that day thinking about what my life used to involve. Feeling Edward's body next to mine (and not in the nine or so measly hours where he's dead asleep next to me in my bed) was something I realized I could not so easily give up.

Then came the thinking. The constant mind-wandering as to how something like this could happen. How it is that people can just _forget_ the things that used to be so common to them? Luckily, Edward had always been my best friend and we'd never fallen apart. But it happens. Best friends can share their innermost feelings and then two years later not even know if they still sleep with their favorite stuffed animal. It happened to Jessica and Lauren.

I guess thinking about other people's situations made me more scared for my own. I had already allowed a freaking month to pass – there was no way I was letting a thing like time make it two whole years. So I was frustrated because no one else was even realizing this. I wouldn't stand for it anymore.

I caught up with Rosalie before she entered the cafeteria for lunchtime, knowing she came from the same entrance I did and that she was my best bet for getting to the bottom of this ASAP. She always told it like it was. I don't even think Rosalie knows what ignorance means.

"Rose!" She looked startled as I popped from seemingly out of nowhere, and then coolly arched one eyebrow as I'm sure my face looked frightening. I think I had let myself chew these particular thoughts a tad too long. "Aren't we going to buy lingerie or something?"

Maybe instead delving too deep into the ex-best friendship of Lauren and Jessica, I should've thought a little bit more on what I was going to say to Rose.

She laughed, of course, and cheerfully linked her arm through mine, continuing on her way to our table. "I am always up for buying new lingerie, Bella. But if you're referring to our list to make Edward crazy for you, which I'm sure you are because Alice said it would take you about this long, you'll have to ask her. She's the one who told me not to mention it at all until you bring it up."

I was sure my mouth dropped open. Now, Alice was not a psychic by any means, I mean this isn't _That's So Raven_ or something. And no, I'm not a closet Disney Channel fan. Okay, so I am a little – but really only a tiny little smidgen, I promise.

Edward came up on Rosalie's other side before I had a chance to say more. "Hello ladies," He smiled that crooked grin and threw his arm around Rose's shoulder. I would say I was a bit jealous, but I noticed he'd been doing this for what I am now deeming as the Month of Ignorance.

He had stopped almost all physical contact with me. Before, he would've done the same thing but to me, and no one would have said anything. But now, he was almost going out of his way to be completely oblivious to what once used to be "special" touches to me. I took it as Edward's way of putting back up the best friend barriers that had crumpled because of that first kiss on his porch.

Now that I had finally ventured out of IgnoranceLand, I took it as a stupid sign that Edward was still safely whistling away in the confines of it. I glared at him and unlocked my arm with Rose's to hurry ahead. Childish, maybe, but he was the one thinking that if he threw his arm around Alice or Rose it would cancel out the times he had thrown his arm around me.

"I need to talk to you after school," I hissed at Alice, ignoring the others who had arrived at our usual table. As she grinned up at me from a confused Jasper's lap, I only narrowed my eyes and proceeded to do that thing where you point at your eyes with two fingers then point back at the other person's, as if to say _I'm watching you_.

Which really was an empty threat, because it meant nothing. Alice's latest underhand scheme had completely flown over my head as always, and I was no step closer to finding out why she had dismantled the plans I had started to get Edward to discover what he was missing.

The rest of lunch, and the day, for that matter really was unnecessary besides two things. The first was during said lunch where Edward was convinced I was pissed off at him once again, and so anxiously ran his hands through his hair what must've been a hundred times. I'm guessing he hadn't decided if he was supposed to "remember" about our kisscapades or if I was upset over something else he had done.

I chose to ignore him, because really, it was drama I didn't need. That second, however, James seemed to wake up out of his own IgnoranceLand because it was as if he suddenly remembered my existence. So very, very unfortunately for me.

"Hello, Bella, baby, long time no see." His voice was smooth, not in the velvety way Edward's was, but more of the smooth like ice sliding down glass. Cold and cutting; dangerous as ever.

"We had this class yesterday, and the day before, and oh, wow, the day before." I said dryly, trying to recall why I had been so threatened by him more than a month ago. He really did seem ridiculously harmless. Yeah, he gave me the creeps, but this wasn't some crazy movie script that called for him trying to "off" me in the next scene.

"Oh, don't play that way, babe, you know I just had to take care of some of the other girls for a bit. Don't get jealous," I think he was referring to a certain Jane who he'd been just about horizontal with, not that Mrs. C noticed. His lips twisted into something that might've resembled a smirk if his mouth were more attractive.

"Oh, gosh, okay, I won't get jealous." Still as dry as one's voice could get, but my sarcasm was being completely lost on the Neanderthal next to me who looked quite pleased with himself as he leaned back in his computer chair and looked me up and down.

"Baby, the things I would do to you –"

"If I didn't want to throw up every time I think about even touching you." I cut him off through gritted teeth; I didn't want him thinking that my current shiver was from pleasure but was actually from a very resonant sickness. "If you even could give me an eighth of the pleasure that you say you could give me. If you could stop calling me _baby_!"

I have mentioned how I hate this endearment, right? It just sounds so demeaning or fake.

Something passed over James's face for an instant, something scary that made me remember that ferocity that had terrified me just that month ago, but then the bell rang. Thankfully, he scowled, grabbed his bag, and left, but it made me question my next move for a bit.

"Bella?" Edward's voice grabbed my attention, and spurred me back into motion. As I was grabbing my bag, I thought I might casually bring up the topic of James with Edward, might mention how my heart had stopped in those few seconds James's face had been deadly scary, but then I was facing a sulking Edward. "Are you mad at me?"

I was thrown once more, then realized he meant my earlier glare at his innocent actions with Rose. I laughed, shaking my head, liking an Edward that almost seemed afraid of my temper. In the past he had only prodded my rage further along, liking that I acted "like a cute kitten with its claws out" (his words, not mine). Now, though, he seemed terrified that if he made the slightest mistake I would push him out of my life again.

"No, actually a little pissed at Alice, but nothing to worry about." I have to admit it made my insides warm when his face flooded with relief. I can't help it – my favorite Edward is happy Edward.

"Oh, well, good." I was a bit surprised when he threw his arm around me, leading us to my truck. "Listen, I know, you said, what you said. I mean, before." He started off looking me in the eyes, and then he started stuttering over his words so he looked straight ahead. It was confusing – what the hell was he going on about? "But, I, I wanted to do something. I mean, say something."

"Edward, you realize I have no idea what you are talking about, right?" I giggled, wrapping my arm around him as well. Internally, I felt a giddiness that we were touching again. His words were kind of lost on me, because I could only think about the fact that with our arms wrapped around each other I could smell his incredible scent so well it was as if my nose was right up against the side of his throat.

"Yeah," He smiled when I giggled. He paused as if he wanted to say more, a kind of brief sadness entering his eyes, before his gaze fixed once more on my frozen smile. "Yeah," He said again, his eyes brightening as he squeezed my shoulder lightly.

At this point I was unlocking my truck and climbing in, so unfortunately our arms had to release each other, but it was a small price to pay. "I'm stopping by Rosalie's real quick, to, uh, drop something off," _What?_ "But, um, then I'm going home. I'm going to cook a meal. You can come, of course."

Screw the girls, I could show off my spectacular tricks that Edward liked, with or without their help. So tonight, I would win the way to my man's heart through his stomach. That is how grandmothers recommend doing it anyways, right?

The thing was, I cooked a lot of nights for Charlie and myself, even Edward had often eaten dinner I had cooked. This would be the first time I actually invited him before hand though – which is why I'm sure it sounded awkward. I mean, I didn't want him to think anything was up.

"I was, well, I was going to stop by Jasper's to do homework together," I think he realized that tonight's dinner was something different too, because he seemed unsure as to whether Jasper and him had study plans or not. "What are you making?"

"Lasagna!" It was out of my mouth too quickly to sound remotely normal; that paired with the fact that my lasagna was Edward's favorite dish, must've been a huge sign that tonight was not at all like the times I had cooked for him before. Oh, God. I was terrible at this.

"Of course, then," His crooked grin was enough to wash away the awkwardness, and as he looked up at me from beneath his lashes (I was seated in my very large truck at this point), I felt the air change. In the span of a second, something palpable had charged the air around us.

I sucked in a breath as I saw the understanding of whatever _this_ was in his eyes too. "Okay," Call it a weird reflex, but my body had done something else I hadn't told it to, it had slammed my door shut, almost slamming Edward as well, but he had dodged it.

His eyebrows furrowed and then relaxed, and I couldn't say a goodbye because I didn't want to look even more stupid. I honestly don't know what's wrong with me. It's like my muscles have a mind of their own. I could only offer a meek wave before he shook his head amusedly and set off for his Volvo and I set off for Rosalie's.

"Rose's house. Now." I told Alice after she had picked up my call halfway through the first ring. Then, calling Rose, I said a simple "We're coming over", assuming she knew when and who. Which, of course, she did, seeing as how she was waiting with an open door when I arrived moments later.

Alice pulled up only shortly after I did, and we all uniformly hustled into the house, and then Rose's bedroom. I started just as soon as Rose shut the door behind her. "Okay, since you two good-for-nothings are content to just let me struggle with the list alone, I've already taken the first step to start with my cooking for him idea. So I invited him to dinner tonight, thank you very much."

"Oh, you're ready!" Alice squealed, winking at Rose, who lounged on her bed and gave a quick, loud, laugh. "Now we can for sure start our plan, which I like to call Make Edward Pant, although really it should be called Make Edward Realize that he Loves Bella Hello You Idiot! But M-E-P is better than M-E-R-L-B-H-Y-I because we can also just call it MEP. I'll be quiet because now I'm rambling."

I think I might've sputtered my next few sentences. In fact, I'm sure I did. "Wait a minute… You cannot take the credit for my action, Mary Alice… Pant? Not only do I think it's disturbing that you picked that verb, but the fact that you picked it for your _brother_… Now hold up! You guys had forgotten all about MEP for the past month!"

Don't ask me why I just went along with Alice and called it MEP.

"Really, Bella, how long have we all known each other, you don't think Alice has some kind of brilliant explanation for her actions?" Rose asked, as she now hung upside down from the edge of her bed, moving her face around with her finger as she held up a mirror with her other hand.

"Bellie Bells, darling, I thought if you took any longer, I might have to just forget about the whole thing." Alice sighed dramatically, all the while with a grin on her face.

I just gaped at the pair of them. "Can one of you please explain what the heck is going on? Did you two have some kind of secret meeting where you decided you would momentarily forget about MEP until I came raging at you?"

"Exactly!" Alice looked far too delighted for her own good. "We had to be sure it was you making the decision Bella. We had to make sure you were really ready. We definitely need to be the ones who craftily orchestrate the entire MEP process, but it had to be your decision to get the ball rolling in the first place. And you couldn't just tell us you were ready, you had to actually do something about it.

Why do you think it took you more than a month to finally get frustrated enough to start the plans without us? You weren't ready before, trust me. Everything between you and my brother had _just _happened and there was not enough time for you to truly adjust. Now you've come to terms with what has happened, I think anyways, and there's no awkward tension between the two of you lying over your heads. You can really start from scratch and get past the whole Tanya thing."

I sat down hard on the bed, stunned. Was Alice right? I mean, it _had_ taken me a whole month to finally be spurred into action not only with Edward, but with my best friends too. I looked at Rosalie, who was now looking at me too, and then stared agape at Alice.

"I know, she's a sneaky little bugger, isn't she?" Rose asked, who I noticed was now staring at Alice with a smirk. Alice might've been glowing under the attention and silent praise if it hadn't been for her business face to come to her.

"I have to admit I wasn't really expecting you to invite Edward to dinner tonight though, of all nights!" Alice suddenly appeared with a notepad and pen in her hands. "You silly Bella, we have so much to do now! Please tell me you'll have time to cook a fabulous meal and look like a fabulous meal yourself too. And _please _tell me Charlie is going to be out of the house."

I think my face draining of color was enough to tell her that I wasn't known to be the expert planner of the group. "I can make the meal." I said stupidly.

Rose was the first to jump to action. "First you need to take a super quick shower with the fabulous bath washes and scents thanks to à la Rose, and Alice and I will get an outfit together for you when you get out. Shave with the extra razor under the cabinet- go!"

Well, thank the Lord for fabulous friends is all I have to say.

…

Heading back home from Rose's, I began to think of how to get Charlie out of the house as well as not question my outfit. After the quickest shower known to mankind, I had been shoved into one of Rose's 'club' dresses, meaning while it was tight on her curves and short on her mile-long legs, it fit my minimal curves just right (in fact, brought them out a bit in all honesty) and became an acceptable length on my short height, but still highlighted my own long legs (for my size at least). Then hair by Rose, makeup by Alice, and _ta-da!_ ready to go.

I called Jacob, thinking he would know how to lure Charlie from the house. "Jake, no, don't talk, please just listen and help." I said as he immediately started talking loudly in my ear from the phone. He sighed, sounding annoyed, so I took that as my cue to continue. "Billy, what is Billy doing?"

"I have no idea, Bella, probably watching television in the living room, why?" He huffed, really being no help at all with that kind of attitude.

"Ack, never mind! See you later!" I hung up without waiting for his response, realizing an even better candidate to lure Charlie from our house than Billy. A now seven-year widowed Sue Clearwater.

"Hello?" She answered cheerfully.

"Hello!" I all but shouted at her, I was now parked in my driveway, feeling like I was in a mad rush, even though I knew I had plenty of time to make the lasagna. "Sorry, it's Bella Swan. I have a favor to ask… You see, I really love cooking for my dad, but recently he's been going on and on about your special fish dish. I don't know what it's called and I know I can't make it as good as you can…"

"Well, I mean the two of you could come over, and I could teach you how to make it, and the Charles could eat with us?" I was stunned for a moment, unsure as to whether it was the sweet eagerness in her voice when she realized Charlie might be coming over, or whether it was the fact that I had never heard my dad called Charles before. It was… weird.

"Yeah, I really would love to, but I, uh, have a ton of homework to do tonight. I really can't go anywhere and I was just going to pop in a microwave dinner, but I feel like it really is so unfair to Charlie to make him eat junk like that when he has been going on and on about how it's the most delicious thing in the world." If Sue knew me any better, she would know I was lying so badly my nose was sure to have grown. Luckily, she didn't.

"Well, you know, he could always come over and I could make it for him. I mean, if he wants to come over that is. Be sure to warn him the kids are out though, so if he, um, is uncomfortable with just me for company. Just tell him to be over any time before seven, if he wants to that is." She said so shyly, I almost melted for Charlie. Don't get me wrong, your dad dating – doing _anything_ of that caliber – is so wrong, but the two of them were so obviously smitten with each other it was kind of adorable.

"Oh, that is so great! I'm sure he'll be thrilled! Thank you so much!" Knowing I had succeeded made me breathe a sigh of relief, so I started to walk up the front walk, doing a sort of dance, which was not exactly the smartest thing to do considering I was wearing heels. (Rosalie scoffed when I pleaded for her to borrow one pair of flats – I realized she was offended I even thought she _owned_ a pair of flats.)

"Dad! I talked to Sue; she wants you to come over for dinner tonight!" I yelled from the entryway, so excited that even though my entire plan was last minute everything was working out. He was in front of me in six seconds flat. I almost wobbled on my heels just from the force at which he rushed to me.

"Tonight?" He asked, trying to look nonchalant, and yet already grabbing his jacket.

"Yes, she said she wanted to make you her fish dish – I forget what it's called. Also, the kids are out, if that's alright." He bit his lip to try to hide his smile, and I wondered briefly if I had picked up that trait from him. "You should go though; I'm only going to be hardcore studying tonight probably."

"Yeah, you're right, I probably should go. It would be rude to turn down her offer, right?" He twisted the lapels of the jacket in his hands, trying to pass this whole thing off as my doing – although, I guess technically it really _was_ all my doing.

"Exactly, go!" I couldn't help laughing at the smile on his face; he looked like a little kid. "Really, you should go now too since she's all alone. I think it would be nice to keep her company while she cooked the two of you dinner." I might be disturbed later if I find out that I set my father up on his first date since my mother.

"Right, yes," He passed by me, and then seemed to realize what I was wearing. He opened his mouth and I desperately tried to keep my face blank, but then he must've thought better of it, seeing as this was quite the deal for him, so said instead, "Stay out of trouble; bye Bells."

"No problem, have fun, Dad," I winked, knowing he'd be less occupied with thoughts of my own scheming, and sure enough he turned red, before half-heartedly waving and heading to his cruiser.

I closed the door and actually did a little dance. It was surprisingly easy; I guess the more you wear heels, the easier they get to wear. Hmm, who knew wearing heels was something you learned? Regardless, I should still probably exchange them for a pair of my own flats.

However, glancing at the clock, I instead decided to head to the kitchen and start on my famous lasagna. I figured Edward might show up anytime in the next few minutes to hour, so I should actually have dinner going since that was the whole point of task one of MEP.

I got my lasagna (luckily, having all the usual ingredients around, with just a few unnoticeable adjustments considering it was made from scratch) in the oven just as Edward arrived. He must've let himself in because as I was getting ingredients out for the quick salad I planned to make, I heard his voice from the hall. "Bella?"

"In the kitchen," His nervous sounding voice had only made my own voice nervous. I busied myself with carefully cutting the tomatoes, and only briefly glanced up before returning my gaze down to my work. "Hello, Edward,"

"Hi," I felt his stare and suddenly didn't know what to do with myself. That tension that had suddenly taken over the air at my truck suddenly filled the air here as well. It was maddening.

"I-I'm wearing this because when I went over to Rose's they played Bella Barbie on me," I said lamely, not knowing why I felt I needed to give the excuse. I felt incredibly stupid – why had I allowed myself to make such a big deal out of the whole thing?

"I like it," Edward had come around the counter at this point, and I felt his breath across my ear in the most delightful way. I told myself to breathe and to watch my knife; I did not need a bleeding finger to ruin this moment. "They even got you in heels," I felt his touch at my elbow at the same time his mouth grazed just under my ear.

"Yeah, you get used to them, you know?" I asked stupidly, as if he would know anything about wearing heels. "I can see how those spies can run in them in the movies. It's like after walking, running is easy. You got to start with a crawl, like a baby." _What?_

"Isa…bella," I was all too pleased when he decided to stop my insane rambling. Then again, I was probably more pleased by the fact that his nose was still running along my neck and jaw area. I bit my lip, unsure of what action to take, not even noticing I had stopped chopping the instant he had touched me.

He was standing unbelievably close, and yet not actually kissing me. Besides his hand at my elbow and his nose at my neck, he had not made any further attempts at making the first move. I was unsure if I liked this or not. Besides the internal debate about what this meant in the best friendship – I was also having the internal debate about what Alice's and Rose's decision on me kissing him had been.

Did they say I could? Oh, God, why couldn't I remember just this one thing? I really, _really_ wanted to kiss him.

"You look really good," Edward commented, his lips right at my ear. I realized I had started to hold my breath, so I released in a big sigh, embarrassed by the sound that came with it. A kind of low gasp with the beginning of a moan, which made my face flush ridiculously red.

I think it spurred a different kind of reaction in Edward though, because suddenly he was touching me everywhere. He had moved so that he was wrapped around me from behind, his front plastered to my back, towering over my form, pressing against me in a purely instinctual way. I just about lost my mind.

"I, you," I muttered idiotically, pressing myself back into him, grabbing his wrists where his hands gripped the counter on either side of me. I was shocked to find a growing hardness at the small of my back, wandering how this all was happening. "Edward,"

We moved no further, just froze pressed solidly to each other, breathing surprisingly loud considering we hadn't really done anything.

Unbidden, a certain article from one of the Cosmos struck my mind. A new one talking about how some women can _think_ their way to an orgasm. With maybe a few dirty words and the pure power of their mind they could find a release. In the middle of my kitchen, I was suddenly terrified I was going to come and Edward was going to be horrified.

"Bella, where did you go?" His voice came at my ear, sounding deeply amused, until I jumped lightly, grinding into a certain part of his anatomy. He groaned low, his mouth opened right against the side of my face, and the only thing I could think was that Edward was right there behind me, doing whatever it was we were doing.

"Edward, I've been thinking," I shifted my hips once more, wondering where this brazen attitude was coming from, where these words were coming from. "About your… proposition," No, obviously, I wasn't thinking. What the hell was I talking about? There was no way I would ever enter into the friends with benefits deal!

The doorbell.

The glorious, awful, wonderful, _terrible_ doorbell. Edward and I immediately jumped apart, as if we had actually been going at _it_ against the kitchen counter. Although… _no!_ What the hell was wrong with me? I was induced into an Edward brain-dead cloud.

"I'll get it," I said to no one really, adjusting the dress that hadn't really moved. I opened the front door to a crazy person. Leah, of all people, burst in, glaring at me and giving the typical high school 'stank face' at my what might actually be considered slutty dress.

"Are you with him, Swan?" She hissed between her teeth, scaring the living daylights out of me. For one irrational moment I was sure she meant Edward and I and wondered if she knew what we had just been doing. "Where is Jacob?"

Then of course, as my brain was coming back to me, I realized she could care less about Edward and me, and only wanted to be sure Jake wasn't over her doing what Edward had just done to me. But really, that was quite rude considering I'd never given anyone the impression that I was romantically interested in Jacob Black.

"Leah, no – what? Jake's not here, I promise." I meant to sound reassuring, but I think my whore panting, red face, and the fact that I called him by _Jake_ must've said something opposite to her. I looked to Edward for help, but he was only trying not to laugh, and tried to hide what I realized must be an erection by the way he was awkwardly standing near the coats on the coat rack.

"You listen to me, Swan, I don't care what you do with every other boy in town," She cast an obviously distasteful glance at Edward, who would've been offended, I'm sure, if he hadn't burst out laughing. "But Jacob Black is mine, you got that?"

"I- You can have him!" I basically sputtered, astounded by what was the most committal phrase to ever leave Leah's lips. My hands were now up in a gesture of surrender, for a reason I had no explanation for. In case you can't tell, Leah scared the crap out of me. "I mean, not that you need me to give him to you… He's been yours all along – I don't want him, honestly!"

Her scowl became even fiercer at my inane rambling, and I could feel myself getting more tongue-tied. Then, a sniff. Leah's face cleared immediately, her nose up in the air, (much like a dog to be quite honest). In my current state of mind- terrified- I wondered if she could smell traces of Jacob throughout the house, and if I was about to be condemned for hiding him somewhere against his will.

I blame this current brain fog on Edward, hands down.

"Is that lasagna?" She asked, very sweetly might I add, grinning at me. Talk about bi-polar, seriously. "You know, Swan, I thought it was weird when you called Jacob for a three second conversation about Billy's whereabouts, and imagine my surprise when not to long after I get a call from my mother to stay out of the house because your dad is coming over. At this point I'm already on my way back home – this coincidental ridding of Charlie and calling Jacob? You're planning something."

My face burst into flames, not because she was right about my plans with Jacob, but because she had just shared my not-so-secret-anymore scheming with Edward as well. Regardless of the awkward invitation, the sexy attire, there was no way he could not know that the whole thing was some kind of setup. Fuck my life.

"Add that hideous blush to the fact that my mother clearly mentioned you having to study all night, means that this whole thing is some kind of secret rendezvous!" As Leah put her hands on her hips with that haughty little smirk of hers, I wondered if I could disappear into the floor. What had seemed to be working out so perfectly was turning into a huge disaster.

"Hey now," I guess at this point Edward had taken care of his little- big?- problem and had decided the whole situation was about as funny as I thought it was, because he finally spoke up and now he sounded angry. "Black isn't coming over here and there's no need to be rude. Bella wasn't lying; it's just me and her."

"Oh, are you sure it isn't a two versus one kind of game? That Swan here hasn't tricked the two of you into coming over tonight at different times? Or maybe at the same time for a little more of a crowded kind of _fun_?" She asked this like it was obvious, which finally made me realize this had gone on enough.

"Excuse me, Leah, but I think you're absolutely crazy. I know you've never liked me much because Jacob and I are good friends, but really there's never been any kind of romantic feelings between either of us. In fact, he always talked about how great you were – to me, you just act like a bitch." I said very pleasantly, glad that I could sound so mature while standing up for myself.

"He talks about me?"

I seem to have forgotten I'm dealing with a crazy.

Seeing as she still looked distrustful, my lasagna was still in the oven getting dangerously close to being a burnt entree, I might've spoken too much, "In fact, to prove I'm not lying about Jacob, how about you stay? There's more than enough lasagna, and this will prove I'm being completely honest with you. Jacob Black is not showing up at this house tonight."

Word vomit, honestly. I think part of me hoped she would take this offer as proof that Jacob would absolutely not be coming over tonight, but as with most word vomit occurrences with me, it seemed to backfire. "Hell yes to lasagna!"

I sent a pleading look to Edward, who seemed to still be at a loss to how this change of guests had occurred. Yeah, me too, buddy.

I rushed into the kitchen, just about to give up on the whole thing, except now I had a full meal to serve and not one, but two guests to host. Well, that is until the doorbell rang again. As I tried to ignore the repeated doorbell (quite obnoxious as it seemed they let their finger stay down upon it), I heard Leah yell, "I knew it!" at the same time Edward muttered from beside me, "Jesus fucking Christ."

The yelling at my front entryway was enough to drive a person to suicide. Just saying.

"Did you invite Josh-whatshisname over?" I heard Edward question softly, and surprise at his question mad the potholder slip, causing me to lightly burn my thumb, but luckily only drop the lasagna on the top of the stove.

"F-ing mother of a!" I broke off, holding my finger, trying to tune out the bickering from Jacob and Leah down the hall, and focused my attention back on Edward. "Of course not," My pain was from my finger and his question, but I tried to huff it off as just the small burn wound. "I don't make Jacob dinner."

For some reason my explanation which didn't exactly make much sense to me seems to appease Edward greatly cause he grinned that crooked grin at me, which just about made me forget my thumb. Unfortunately, nothing could stop me from registering the Leah and Jacob tornado that just entered the kitchen.

"Bella, please tell her you mean nothing to me!" I heard a trace of Jacob's frantic shout, before Leah's voice snapped, "Nothing? Nothing?" My head was whirling at their confusing yelling. These two were more convoluted than any not-even-real relationship I'd ever seen. Well, not including Edward and mine own perhaps.

"Alright, both of you: shut the hell up!" For some reason my yell did quiet them, seeing as I guess my infamous temper had finally blown. I tried to hold on to the reins of it as I saw Edward try to hold in a smile by biting his cheek. He so was not helping right now. "First of all, Jacob followed you here Leah, that's obvious enough to see. Second, since I'm not going to take back my invitation after all this, this is how things are going to go down."

"Don't think that-" Leah started, but one look from me silenced her. Ha! Harmless kitten my ass, take that Edward!

"Leah, you're going to grab the dishes and silverware and set the table with Jacob. Edward, you're going to finish the salad, and I'm going to finish up the lasagna. Then, we're all going to sit down and have a _nice_ meal. When we're done, Edward and I will gladly clean up if the two of you leave. Immediately. Got it?"

"You're going to carry the dishes, and I swear to God if you drop a single plate of the nice Swan's dishware…" Leah redirected the authority to herself, and Jacob took the threat, looking too happy under the current situation. I swear, those two were unexplainable. In my twisted head I saw them being in a Dom/Sub relationship a few years down the line. One guess as to which person would play which part.

As my head was going into territory it never should have ventured, I ran my finger under cool water, noticing only a small red welt, sure to go away within a day. It was then that I noticed Edward staring at me, doing that lovely half-and-half smile of his. Unsure of whether he was laughing at the pure ludicrousness of the entire night or something else… something, well, something like we were doing earlier before Leah's arrival.

"Now, I don't think I'm nearly as bad as Jacob, but I have to say when a woman is commanding like you just were, it does something to me. Are you sure you wouldn't like to tell me exactly how you want the salad finished, ma'am?" The mirth in his eyes led me to believe he was joking outright now, so I pushed him away and laughed.

All things considered, I was surprised I still could after the way phase one of MEP was turning out. God, I don't think things could get much worse. Of course, this was before we sat down to actual dinner.

While I had figured out how to tone down Jacob's and Leah's bickering (which, trust me, was not at all cute like you think couples-who-aren't-really-couples bickering would be), I had not planned on screwing up the one part I had down pat. The freaking lasagna. I don't know if it was the ingredient substitution, the too long in the oven, or maybe the fact that I was just off, but it was awful.

Just barely edible, as Leah didn't fail to mention. Actually, elaborate on. Several times throughout dinner. Jacob got over it pretty soon, as most boys do when it comes to eating things they're not entirely sure they even like. But Edward, no, Edward was different. He swore up and down nothing was wrong with it.

Seriously! Not even a muscle twitch when the first bite hit his tongue, even though I knew it was bad immediately. It was nothing like my usual, and certainly must've been discernible to the man who claimed it was his favorite. But he scarfed it down! Not a crumb left on his plate, not even after seconds!

It was no short of mystifying.

I thought maybe he was just being polite, but as Jacob and Leah took reign of the conversation, and I studied the continuous delight on Edward's face during the entirety of the meal, I realized he truly thought it was delicious. What. The. Hell!

My mind was scrambled from the entirely too eventful night, but I was sure this could not be normal. If Edward really thought that was good lasagna in his stomach – he probably didn't even care how it tasted at all! Maybe he didn't even have taste buds! Maybe he just ate because food was just food to him!

How horrifying!

A man that couldn't even tell the difference between good and bad cooking. I found myself stuck on this one fact even after Jacob and Leah had left me and Edward to clean up. I didn't even realize how upset I was until Edward asked me what was wrong during our cycle of me washing, him drying.

"What do you mean what's wrong?" I didn't want to make any bigger of a deal of this than what had already turned out to be a not-so-low-key dinner. But I didn't know how to stop my voice from catching. It was really a downward spiral from Edward's taste buds to my actual cooking. Maybe I was not even all that good at cooking. What I had mistaken for Edward's constant food enthusiasm might just be his dysfunction.

"I mean, what's wrong?" He said bluntly, disregarding my mind spiral. "You've been quiet since almost the beginning of dinner. I thought maybe it was just because of Tweedledum and Tweedledee, but you still kept frowning even after they're long gone. What's wrong, Bella?"

"I just…" I shook my head, unable to explain myself. I felt tears prick my eyes for a stupid moment, unsure as to why I was taking this so hard. No, wait a minute, I know I'm not a bad cook. Charlie would've been unable to hide anything like that, what with the tact he has. And _I_ can certainly taste the difference between good and bad. "You?"

His hand reached out to stop my hand from scrubbing the last dish. "Bella? Use your words, dear," He tried not to laugh, but I could tell he was frustrated by my frown and lack of explanation.

"I don't know it's just that… It was just such a rush, you know? I even took a shower!" Suddenly, it was pouring out. "I guess you already know it was supposed to be special, what with that brat Leah spilling it out that I worked so hard to get Charlie out of here. Thank God he didn't notice my heels! And then I put together that lasagna and I don't know what the heck I used in it but it was not good! Not at all! Then Leah and Jacob monopolizing the whole dinner conversation with their weird Dom/Sub relationship. It's like, God, buy her a whip already! And, Edward, it wasn't even good! I don't know how you managed seconds when I barely got through the first bit!"

A few tears slipped out, as if I didn't feel ridiculous enough already. Is my period due or something, this cannot be normal. I guess this fit the disastrous evening, what with an end like this though.

"Alright, time for bed," Edward said eventually, after he'd wiped my tears with his thumbs on either side of my face. I wasn't sure if I was glad or not that he decided to ignore my rant. Then again, he might not have been even able to follow it all.

He held my hand as we walked upstairs after putting the dishes in the dishwasher, and I chose not to say anything about why he felt the need to do so. It was as I was going into my room that he paused and tugged my hand lightly bringing me fully into his arms.

"Before you change, I want you to know you look great. And on that note, the whole night was great. Weird, exhausting, and some more weird, but great nonetheless. Entertaining, really. As for your lasagna, Bella, it's great because you made it. No other girl has made me anything from scratch, especially not something edible. I think I'm going to ignore your comments about the whole Dom/Sub with Josh and Leah, because that will give me nightmares before bed," I laughed sleepily, grinning lazily at him, "But thank you, Bella. I don't know what the occasion was, but thank you."

"No occasion, necessary." I muttered embarrassed, letting myself fall forward into him, relaxing fully into the embrace. He didn't need to know about the MEP yet, well, ever, so I tried to hide my face from the real answer.

"Goodnight, love," Was his simple response. I am ashamed to admit my heart tripled pace at that last endearment, but, eh. What are you going to do?

**Author's Note- **Yeah, I'm back. (Hopefully haha). If you're still with my after the extremely long wait- lots of love to you! I really appreciate it, you have no idea exactly how much. I want to let you know that I can't respond to every review but I of course read them and they are really fabulous! So thank you again and again! And hopefully I can respond to the ones I get from this point on.

A lovely thanks to my beta, **jliane**!


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